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Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 2:53 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Such sadness for your family.
Hugs to you all.
My BIL committed suicide 2 year of my marriage. Let me just say it is important to seek support for each family member. The emotional needs and impact will vary by the intrapersonal relationship.
Be kind to yourself, mourn the father of your children with dignity and respect. You deserve that and so do your children.
BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013
friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.
neverbeokay ( member #8275) posted at 2:55 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
That is very sad. So sorry for your and your kids' loss.
[This message edited by neverbeokay at 8:55 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]
inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 2:58 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
oh sweetie, I am so very very sorry. I have been through it, only I was the teenager, and it was my dad who killed himself.
My advice - get all your kids into counseling as soon as you can, and don't let them (the kids) tell you they don't need it. They do, they will. Especially your son.
You all need to know, and repeat to yourself as often as you have to - this is not your fault. None of you are powerful enough to be able to control another person. None of you!
It's a horrible, horrible choice, but it's one that your WH made. He may not have been thinking clearly, but he alone is responsible for his decision to deal with his life this way.
This is not your fault. This is not your son's fault. Don't let him start believing it is, just because he feels like he didn't get there soon enough. It is not his fault.
Be prepared though, the range of emotions you all might feel will be very similar to the roller coaster after finding out about the infidelity.
Again, I am so very sorry. (((daysofmylife and kids)))
There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:04 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so very sorry to hear this news.
Covering you all in prayer.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 3:08 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry...
{{{hugs}}}
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
jjct ( member #17484) posted at 3:08 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
(((DaysOfMyLife and family)))
I'm so sorry. sending strength.
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 3:09 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry. I hope that your family will come together to help you through this.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 3:21 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry for your family. Your poor son having to find him! My dad committed suicide when I was 16. My mom was the one that went to his house and found him (they were divorced). I'm by case, my father was an alcoholic not an adulterer.
As horrible as this all is, it will one day be in the past. It's great that you got your son some counseling lined up already. The most important thing for you and your children to know is that this is not your fault and nothing you did caused this. This is a choice he made on his own.
You're in my thoughts. Please feel free to message me with any questions. I'm 21 years out from going through this so I have some perspective.
[This message edited by newlysingle at 9:22 AM, September 2nd (Monday)]
BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 4:47 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:50 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
(((((((doml & kids))))))))
I am so very sorry, honey. Sending you and your kids comfort and light.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Sparkles ( member #39901) posted at 4:51 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry. I pray you find the strength to help the kids and yourself through this. (((hugs)))
rainagain ( member #14917) posted at 5:38 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry this has happened. Prayers and love for you and your children.
Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:11 done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love- Marino Me: Divorced
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:57 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
(((doml & kids)))
I'm so sorry. Sending strength and prayers.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 6:03 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm am so sorry.
Hugs to you and your kids, and to everyone else who shared their stories on this thread who suffered something similar.
(((((HUGS)))))
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 6:20 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 6:28 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your children. Praying for your family.
(((doml)))
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
DaysOfMyLife (original poster member #40265) posted at 6:29 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Thanks for all of the posts. It was nice to get on and see all of the support. The roller coaster I was on now has a few more loops thrown in!
BW now 38
WH 35 (deceased)
DS 18 DD 10
Together 12.5 years Married 8.5 years
D Day July 22, 2013
WH died by suicide
h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 6:34 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
How awful. I'm sending positive thoughts to you and your family.
InTheRabbitHole ( member #19319) posted at 6:40 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Please don't forget to take of you as well. I'm so very sorry for your family to have to be dealing with this.
Grace and Flowers ( member #34431) posted at 6:43 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2013
Oh, man, I am so sorry...especially that your son had to see that.
Sounds like you are a fierce, protective mama and will get the kids the help they need. Remember to get help when you need it, too.
Again, I'm just so sorry.
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