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OldCow18 (original poster member #39670) posted at 5:07 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
WH left Sunday night. We (I) came to this decision because of false R, lying and gaslighting and his temper issues for 3 months. While I am sad for my kids, who are understandably very upset, I have to say, I am shocked at how *I* feel...
I feel good. I feel peace. I feel in control of my life again. I feel the best I've felt in 3 months. I never expected this in a million years after the hell of the last 3 months. I know my feelings could change at any time, but for now I am just amazed at myself. Anyone else go through this?
Don't get me wrong, gun to my head what I want is my marriage and family back, but he needs to change and do the work in order for that to happen and I can't count on that anymore. I just feel so in control again. Amazing. I hope it lasts.
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 6:59 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Yes, I felt exactly the same way when my POS left and I knew for certain he wasn't coming back. The tension left the house immediately, and even my DD noticed how peaceful and calm it was. I will feel even better when the legal connection is permanently severed as well... 
Plan on still having the ups and downs of the emotional rollercoaster as that is almost inevitable, but time makes it easier.
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
whatdoto ( member #28555) posted at 7:15 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
STBXWH and I are in-house separation. But, the day I filed is the day I felt in control again, felt as though a ton of bricks had lifted off my shoulders.
Our D is scheduled for next Wednesday. I'm sure I'll be floating on a cloud.
And, ditto to "he needs to change and do the work in order for that to happen and I can't count on that anymore". When WH showed me he wouldn't or couldn't do the work, that was his message to me loud and clear. Oh, and I gave him 3 years to do it in.
((OldCow18))
"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 11:31 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
I felt the same way!
It was liberating after months of being so broken and depressed.
Now you will have the time to get clarity on what's best for you! 
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
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