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Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 9:02 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
A lot has been going on. Don't have the strength nor stomach to pour it all out.
Tonight is a meeting to hash things out. It will be the deciding factor on whether my FOO will be a part of our lives anymore.
I'm sick. I'm scared. I'm exhausted. I feel I'm on the verge of freedom but that the cost will be great, and my children could suffer from the impact.
Any prayers or mojo would be appreciated.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
EmotionalFool ( member #37362) posted at 9:09 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
((Aubrie)) Wishing you strength and peace
WW: 28 (ME)
BH: 28 (SI profile: CrappyLife)
D-Day- 15/10/12
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 9:18 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Thanks EF. I'm so scared. I'm physically sick. My stomach is shredded. Can't eat. Can't drink. It feels like a weird version of Dday although it not infidelity related at all.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 9:22 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Hang in there, Aubrie. Go with your heart. That's really all you can do.
Sending mojo and strength your way.
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Got some mojo coming your way
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Stay strong and fllow your heart. Remember we are all here cheering you on. 
BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 9:49 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Aubrie
We can not change our past.
We can have a happy future by learning from our past.
Our true selves shines thru on how we handle our mistakes in life.
Good Luck!
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
plainsong ( member #37826) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Sending you prayers and support. I hear your concern about your kids being affected. Remember that they will also benefit from seeing their parents set boundaries to protect themselves (and the family as a whole) from abusive or unhealthy relationships.
Also remember that it is ok for you to make the decision that you think and feel is best for you now. If the situation or people change later, you can renegotiate.
The most important thing now is to respect yourself and your own family unit. If you can speak respectfully to your FOO members while setting boundaries in this difficult situation, so much the better, but you can only do the best you can. I trust that your heart will lead you to a good choice.
Me, fWW
Him, fBH (sisoon)
Dday, 12/22/2010
I use capital letters for emphasis, not yelling.
Reconciled and healing.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Prayers and mojo for you. Will be sending good thoughts.
We're here for you.
(((Aubrie)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 10:21 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Prayers for strength, peace and guidance.
(((Aubrie)))
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 11:44 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013
Thanks everyone.
Plainsong, you're right. On every account. It is healthy, it is the right thing to do.
Its just facing the monster straight in the eyes that is so terrifying. Its facing the abuse head on. Its putting your foot down and saying "No more."
Terrifying.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 12:03 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Good luck tonight. We're all behind you 
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 12:07 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Strength vibes >>>>>>>
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Joanh ( member #39146) posted at 12:32 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Will be thinking of you and hope all goes well.
((Aubrie))
BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 1:14 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 3:13 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Well that was worthless. You cannot discuss anything with a NPD P/A nut job. It all just gets turned back around on us.
There were no fights. No raised voices. But we were treated very condescendingly. Whatever. I'm done.
I can be civil. But they know where I stand and how I feel. You wanna think I'm stupid? Fine. Whatever. My life goes on.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 3:14 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Thank you everyone for your words, care, and support. Means the world to me.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 3:17 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Well that was worthless. You cannot discuss anything with a NPD P/A nut job. It all just gets turned back around on us.
1,000,000% true. This is why we do not engage with NPD/PA IL's anymore. We have the full support of our counselors, and basically anyone else who knows them.
It's going to be ok. You have YOUR family, and that's a perfectly worthy place to put your energy.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 3:35 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013
Just pisses me off. Ya know?
Be a dick. Doesn't care. Because HE is right. Dontcha know. Noooooobody else knows anything. He is God's gift to humanity. 
Good luck with that Dude.
I have my husband and children. That's all that matters. I almost lost them once. Ain't gonna happen again.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
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