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jemimapd (original poster member #37895) posted at 9:44 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Well, I am a bit shocked because I had convinced myself that my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound would show the lump found by the routine mammogram to be a fluid filled cyst (of which I have had 3).
I went to the hospital first thing this morning expecting to get the usual all-clear.
No, they dont knkw what it is. So now I have to get a biopsy. I had just set myself up for it to be nothing.
I think it is all OK. It is well-defined, good acoustics, but it is a lump with a blood supply. The doctor said he thought it was probably but not definitely OK.
I just feel really tearful. My doctor's office has had all day to send the order for the biopsy and hasn't sent it so I can't even schedule it. I'm so miserable with this in house separation which has another 2 weeks until the final hearing. I haven't told STBX and of course he forgot about my appt which just shows me what a selfish jerk I have been married to the last ten years. I did go and have lunch with a friend who has offered to come with me.
It just feels like the worst possible timing.
Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 9:48 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:00 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
((((jemima)))) Sending you strength, honey. And tons of mojo for a clean biopsy.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 10:01 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
((((((((massive hugs)))))))))
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
HeartInADustpan ( member #38341) posted at 10:11 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
We're all cheering you on. Hang in there. (((HUGE HUGS)))
Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain
numbandnauseous ( member #34525) posted at 10:48 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
jemima, honey, I am so sorry. You have a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself today. Can you get out of the house and do something just for yourself? Mani/pedi/massage, brisk walk or at least schedule something if you can't do it today?
I am so sorry, jemima. We are all here for you sending good mojo for everything to turn out ok. Keep posting.
(((((((jemima)))))))
BS (me) - 50
WH - 58, EA with HS GF x 2, now deceased
M: 15 years, T: 20, divorced
2 teenage children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 11:01 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
So sorry to hear this. Not that it's ever a good time, but this is REALLY a bad time. My heart goes out to you. Big hugs Jemima.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 11:36 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 11:42 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
(((jemimapd)))
Sending prayers your way.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 11:54 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013
Think positive and know - KNOW - you can deal with it if it does turn out to be something that needs further attention. You've already had more on your plate than most and you have survived it.... I have taken one of my best friends 2x for biopsies (her H was working out of state both times) and both turned out to be nothing. Sending you hugs and lots of strength....
(Your PM's are at their limit, just fyi)
D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)
Iamhappytoday ( member #39051) posted at 12:07 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
(((jemimapd)))
This happened to me the same week as D-day. Sending you good mojo and strength.
BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her. Divorced 8/11/15
gardens64 ( member #38449) posted at 12:39 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Hi Jemimapd, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm undergoing in-house separation too and it's so hard to deal with health concerns on top of all this mess. Sending support and good mojo your way. I'm glad you have a friend that is supporting you as well.
sri624 ( member #33956) posted at 12:46 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
i just wanted to send you all kinds of hugs and blessings. you have friends here surrounding you with support.
BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:49 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
Oh sweetie. Take some deep breaths be nice to you. The not knowing is the hardest part, but this is out of your control.
Get it scheduled tomorrow, know that it didn't just show up overnight and waiting a few days to weeks is not going to change the outcome. Rely on friends and family.
Know no matter what this is you are strong and capable. You will be mOre than able to kick its ass and take names. After all you survived in house separation.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:49 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 12:55 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
shit. I am so sorry jemimapd. dammit. Please take your friends offer and have her go with you. You will be in my prayers.
jemimapd (original poster member #37895) posted at 12:58 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
The not knowing is the hardest part, but this is out of your control.
I feel my life is suspended. Yes, I am mentally preparing for a week of not knowing and just deciding that it is going to be OK.
It shows me the extent to which I am without a husband and at the same time that I am OK with that - because the last time I was in the hospital two years ago, STBX was outside calling OW and then fucked off to see her in the afternoon. At least I know what is the truth today. I am in the same house with him but mentally and emotionally I am divorced from him. I cannot rely on him but today I know that.
When I came out of the office today there was an elderly couple sitting together waiting which made me feel a bit sorry for myself, but who knows what their real story is.
This site really is something special. It means a lot to me right now. Thank you.
Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 1:03 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
(((jemima)))
I hope it is nothing. I'm glad you have your friend for support. You have us here, too.
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
BrokenRoad ( member #15334) posted at 1:15 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
(((jemimapd)))
I had this happen to me. They ended up just removing it instead of the biopsy when they went in. And it still turned out to be benign. It can still be totally okay.
HUGS!
BR
{Him}FBH - 51 (WifeHad5){Me} FWW - 52 2 kids: 16 & 21 Reconciled :)*Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.*
jemimapd (original poster member #37895) posted at 1:19 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2013
BR, what was it? The doctor went through the possibilities but of course I wasn't really taking it in.
]Your PM's are at their limit, just fyi)
Thank you! Deleted oldies.
Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.
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