SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I agree with Alphakitte,

I would not bother with anymore mediation/agreements. It is a delaying ploy.

Verbally she may agree, but then she won't sign so don't bother. The only time you will get things settled is in front of a judge.

I'm thinking of simply calling her boss myself and see if she says anything. What do you think?

?i don't think you should put her boss on the spot.

Do you have proof she was fired, or is currently unemployed?

I don't yet, but her attorney is filing a motion for continuance of trial (postponement) on the basis that STBX has lost her job and needs time to find a new one.

My attorney is objecting; they will appear before the judge on Tuesday. This is the same judge who struck down our plea to keep the Temporary Relief Hearing, which was because her attorney argued that it was unnecessary because the trial was so close to the Temporary Relief hearing!

And now he is going to ask that the trial be postponed!

The judge is not going to like this...

In other news:

My attorney has filed an objection to her attorney's deposition of my witnesses this Tuesday on the basis that they were served after the deadline for Discovery had passed.

STBX just texted me asking questions about the case, requesting me to call her as she "has a few questions." I texted back, "I am done discussing the case. Have your attorney contact mine if he/you have any questions. Just let me know if you are taking the dog this weekend."

No more games.

Stay the course, AD. And, FWIW, your atty can subpoena her employer for testimony at trial as to whether she quit or was fired. You're doing the absolute right thing by not talking with her about anything prior to trial. Once you've had your hearing and a ruling is issued, your life should improve considerably. Once the 'rules' are established (i.e., child support, SS, custody, your house, etc), you will need to follow those rules by not giving in to her every whim when she wants to alter or change something. Otherwise, you'll be asking for more drama from her and I think your drama bucket is pretty much close to full already.

I know it's difficult to relax, but no amount of thinking about this is going to change the outcome. Relax and let the attornies handle it from here. It's going to take the amount of time that the court system allows as STBX isn't going to do ANYTHING to speed up the process.

If I were you I'd have someone call her job for an 'employment verification' and just say, IF asked, it's a general inquiry because she's making a major purchase which requires a normal

credit check and employment verification. That person wouldn't be asking for any personal information, just verification. I've taken many calls like that about employees working for me.

Personally I wouldn't take her word for it that she's 'fired' .... as she seems to be unable to tell the truth about anything.

I texted back, "I am done discussing the case. Have your attorney contact mine if he/you have any questions. Just let me know if you are taking the dog this weekend."

^^^^^^ yay!

It took you and I along time to realize that the people we were married to have morphed into someone else, and we are not the person who can "bring them back to reality". Your above response is a mature response.

One of my best days in the last 2 years was when someone posted on here that NC=No new hurts,and I was able to begin to heal... So, for today, you have no new hurts from her.

STBX submitted a last-minute offer that is outrageously unacceptable. I immediately rejected it.

Wish me luck at deposition tomorrow.

Good luck Abbondad, remember to keep your answers short and sweet, don't offer any other information than what is asked for. You've got this. Not to mention you have 40,000 people backing you up:)

Good Luck AD!

Be calm and be the class act that you have been throughout. Best of luck!

You've got this brother. The advice you have been given regarding the depositions is spot on.

I wonder what her offer will be after the depositions. She is in some very deep stuff.

mojo for tomorrow. keep us in the loop

strength

You have done so well for so long. You truly have come so far since your beginning here. Keep calm, you have all of us in your corner. Huge, huge,huge mojo for tomorrow.

You've got this, AD!

Go seal get 'em, Tiger!!

not sure if you're up to this ABD, but now is the time to go for the jugular. I realize you are probably a nicer guy than me, but if I were in your shoes, I would ask questions about her mental health and her medical records, anything you can to bring her to her knees. Just leave her a quivering pile of gelatin. I know it sounds harsh, but you're doing this for your children. Your wife isn't your wife anymore and has proven she is the enemy of what you hold dear. Move in for the kill.

Take some pleasure and reassurance from the fact that every time you say no to her it pisses her off. If she gets angry you know you're in the right.

"How dare you fight for what's right" is her mindset

Let her keep digging and digging.

We're going through the same thing at the same time, you an I. Waywards are cut from the same cloth even when 3500 miles apart.

We'll chat over the weekend

Best wishes!

Best wishes for calm, orderly thinking for today - I see it in your posts, you'll do fine today.

Did she submit this to you personally or thru attorneys? I so hope she did it only to you and then you showed it to your attorney. Meaning she is not playing by any rules at all.

And if she did do it thru attorneys then her attorney must see how she is all over the place. Last minute job loss before final judgements is sadly seen on here ALL the time. And I say sadly because once again a WS will do this stuff to the detriment of everyone involved before giving up what they perceive is any kind of "control".

If she would have just done the right thing in the beginning of this whole thing it would have already been over with quietly and all parties although still wounded would be moving on to some kind of healing.

Sad.

Good luck today AD! Go kick ass!