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I can't fricken believe it! So glad someone won something against a woman like this.

indeed. well done. good luck on the future stuff.

Oh my gosh Abb!!!

Am so thrilled for you. I'm surprised you didn't get burned from the steam coming out of her ears!

You, and your kids, deserve this. Exclusive use of the home!! Love that for you.

Hope things calm down now for you.

I hope you changed your locks before you left town.

I am SO relieved. Passed STBX on the way out. She was white faced with fury. I said, "Bye!" airily. She would not even look at me, let alone respond. :-))))

I like this part. Well done!

Great news AD!!!! Did you change the locks before you left? I hope so!

Wow AD. I can't tell you how pleased I am for you and how proud of you I am for standing up tall in the face of some of the worst wayward bullshit I've seen here. Huge congratulations mate.

Hi, Everyone,

Having a great time far from the toxic madness. I did not have time to change the locks, as I was waiting for her to sign (we were all at my attorney's office). As soon as she did, I literally booked the first flight out and rushed madly to pack and catch my flight. I will change the locks as soon as I get home.

Seen from a literal and figurative distance, I still can't believe I have gotten this far and the "end"--such as it is and will be co-parenting with an NPD--is in sight. Whew.

Again, thank you all--this time for your heartfelt congratulations.

PS: it is official. She has moved in with OM. Less than four weeks after an intense hoovering. Psycho. Good luck with her, sucker.

Sweet ABB!!!! So happy for you ... a great outcome!! Let OM deal with her crazy-ass shit ... maybe she'll just disappear ... one can only hope!

Maybe you could call a friend or neighbor and ask them to keep an eye on your place for you while you're gone?

Wooooo Hoooooo AD!!!!!!!

She was white faced with fury.

What? Her tin foil KISA wasn't waiting outside on his rainbow skittle-farting unicorn to take her off to a far away happy place? Who'da thunk it??

You got this AD.

((((AD & kids))))

Sooooo awesome. Enjoy your weekend. I'm having a drink in your honor. You should do the same.

Congrats. You are finally seeing the outcome you deserve.

Bless you. I am so happy to see that sticking to what s right and sane and good for your kids is paying off.

Best news I've heard all day. Yay!!!!

Hi, Everyone,

I'm back home and am beginning the next step--packing up and preparing to sell the house.

But my question: STBX has officially moved in with the OM. Maybe temporarily (until she finds employment and a new place) maybe not. So my kids are residing there half the time, which my DS at least is very distressed over.

Ultimately it seems there is nothing I can do. My attorney does not believe I should pursue this; it is a battle to skip. She has suggested I (calmly and maturely) ask to speak with him and express my concerns. Very hard, but it may be what I need to do.

My concerns are first the sleeping arrangements. I know he has only two bedrooms and two beds. My poor DS has to sleep on a pullout couch. STBX and DD (six) sleep in the same bed. I know, but that's a separate issue I am struggling with.

My other concern is that he is a gun-owner. He has a permit, and although he has been arrested, he cannot have a carry-permit here in Florida if he has been convicted of a felony, I believe. But of course I am still very concerned if there are guns in the home and not locked up. (My DS loves guns.)

Likely some of you will either tell me that he is going to lie, and I don't necessarily doubt it. To be honest, though, although I don't know him, I trust my STBX less to tell me anything but lies. And I cannot at this time express my concerns to her, as she will become very defensive and basically flip out on me. It is pointless.

Some of you will tell me to take the hardline approach and go legal or even contact DCF. But again, even my attorney believes it would likely be a pointless move. Difficult stuff to prove and to enforce. Just something I have to swallow.

(I'm not implying that either of these is advice I will not listen to.)

I am also tempted--if and when I meet him (maybe in an hour as I am picking up the kids from his place for the first time)--to inform him that less than four weeks ago, STBX hoovered me intensely I. Hopes,that he will kick her out and my kids can sleep in a normal place. But what's the point? Likely this will implode any way, and the strife it could cause in the interim may affect the children. Plus he may not believe me. It would just cause more drama.

Any way, this is another struggle in my journey and I wanted to get some input or just words of support.

Thank you!

I don't think you're going to be able to do much about all this.

As for the hoovering? Didn't you tape that with a VAR? You could play it back. BUT...why? Why do you want to break them up? Why do you want to stir it all up? Maybe chat to your IC?

Thank you. I picked them up and attempted to ask her some questions about the living arrangements and environment like a normal person and of course she was defensive. I asked her if he had guns. She replied angrily, "We will talk about this later." But I calmly asked her to answer yes or no. She acknowledged that he did. (Arms folded, face white with anger.)

I asked if they were securely locked in a safe. She said yes, except when he is carrying one. (Tough guy. He's a freakin nurse, not law enforcement--no offense to nurses.)

I don't necessarily believe anything she says, but there is nothing I can really do, and I think she got the message.

Anyway, I held it together and was calm.

Hi dad,

I've been following your thread and want to congratulate you -

You have come SO far, be proud of yourself!

Just wanted to comment on the gun issue. You mentioned he has been arrested at some point? And that because of that he can't have a permit for a gun? But he has guns? As a parent, I would be VERY concerned that my kids live part time with guns in the home.

Certainly if he had been arrested at some point your lawyer knows this and can advise? I know there are many pro gun folk. I am not one of them, and don't want to turn this into any kind of debate. Just my opinion.

The other thing I wanted to mention - I believe you mentioned on another thread that the OM had lost his job too? Is this true?

Again, you are doing great.

A Pro gun folk sent you a PM.

I totally understand your concerns, and have some words of wisdom, and suggestions as to how you protect your kids.

Thank you, Betrayed.

I am absolutely very concerned about the gun issue. Without getting into the gun debate (I tend to be in the middle, not that it matters in this case), laws in Florida are very loose. If you have not been convicted of a felony (and he has not been or it would've been picked up through the background check) you can own a gun. And carry one. And have them in your home. Nothing I can really do about it.

I have expressed concern to my attorney, and she shares it, but--believe it or not--the presence of guns does not constitute an immediate threat or danger to the children. He could just say that they are in a safe.

But I am not giving up on this issue and may very well pursue it. I have the feeling this is not over. I am again, VERY concerned. And I have expressed this to STBX (VAR'd), so at least it is "on record."

Even if I give the benefit of the doubt to OM, I do not feel at all comfortable with STBX, as she is utterly without boundaries or common sense. I can easily picture her opening the gun safe and saying to the kids, "Ok, you can look but don't touch. Oh, OK, you can hold it, but be careful...Duh, I don't think they are loaded..." etc.