Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Xoplex

General :
Dr. Phil today - 11/21 - Midlife Marriage Meltdown

This Topic is Archived
default

 JustDone (original poster member #9742) posted at 2:44 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013

The topic of midlife infidelity is on Dr. Phil today, for anyone who is interested.

-JD

Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

posts: 3058   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2006
id 6569753
default

cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 2:47 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013

I will watch. thanks

a trigger yesterday

posts: 4775   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2010   ·   location: athome
id 6569758
default

Spelljean ( member #35624) posted at 12:00 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Curious if anyone watched and if it's good?

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

posts: 1037   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2012   ·   location: California
id 6570543
default

looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 12:19 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Well, he had the midlife crisis, had an affair. Wife had a revenge affair and is still active with it. Husband wants her back; she's torn between the two.

The best part was the last 15 minutes: Dr. Phil's advice. It's worth watching just for that part.

Basically (Judy Judy hates that word ...watching her show right now), the marriage is not over until all emotions are resolved. He wants them to have intensive counselling for at least 90 days, wife is to have no contact with OM (who, if he is meant to be with her, will honour the break in the relationship). Then come to a decision. She is more than willing to try the counselling with her husband.

Typical affair behaviour.....she is enamoured, the giddiness, etc. Husband regrets his affair, was a "mistake" and wants her back....

The programme is repeated here tomorrow morning; I just felt too triggery to watch the beginning today.

Quote from the Dr. Phil website:

Judy says that last year, her husband, Danny, suffered a midlife crisis that destroyed their 30-year-long “picture perfect” marriage. She says that out of nowhere, Danny asked for a divorce and then moved out, started an affair — and told her to move on with her life. Ten months later, she says she finally did, with a new man, Lawrence, who Judy confides made her "knees buckle" the first time they met. But now, Danny’s back and says he made a huge mistake — and he’s willing to do anything to win Judy back and fix their relationship. Judy says she’s torn between her husband and her new boyfriend — and she wants Dr. Phil to help her make decision. Can Judy and Danny’s marriage be saved — or is it time to move on? You may be surprised by what Dr. Phil thinks!

Together more than 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)

posts: 3619   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Where a river runs through it
id 6570561
default

somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 12:23 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

..both W and I watched this show.

..sounded typical of so many stories here on SI

..WH became cold and detached.. was with other women.

..his wife felt, after 10 months of his total detachment that she would try O>L>D>, met lawrence,, spent the week with him

..WH finds out and does complete turn-around.. wants his M and family back, says his new love and desire for wife is 10x what it was and is willing to give her anything for a second chance

..she doesn't trust him anymore and worries that his about-face is only because another man has now shown great interest in his wife.

Dr. Phil's analogy of the old dog with a bone that he hasn't chewed on for months suddenly sees another dog go for it, suddenly has a need to reclaim his bone.

..wife is afraid that as soon as Lawrence is out of the picture, WH will go back to ignoring his wife of 33 years.

..Dr. Phil is sending them to MC.

rather stereotypical MLC story I thought.

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6077   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
id 6570568
default

jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 1:55 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

I watched it and found it interesting especially the wife. She is still in shock that her husband of 33 years could do this to her. I think she is attracted to the other man because she wants to feel wanted. She doesn't understand how her husband could have done this. A thought held by a lot of us. It will be interesting to see if they do an update show on them

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6570663
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:24 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

What very few bits and pieces I saw was very interesting to me.

Yes, the wife was truly shocked. She said, and husband agreed, they had a very connected marriage. He adored the ground she walked on. They took a bath together Every. Single. Day. He made sure he kissed her every day.

He had left and moved out. He told her to move on with her life, that he had moved on and she needed to, also. So, after 10 months of him asking/telling her he wanted a divorce she starts dating from an online dating site.

This can get to be a heated discussion here on when and if you are separated and heading for divorce should you date. I don't blame the wife for "moving on". For me, it would be way too soon and I agree with Dr. Phil about finishing up your "emotions" from your marriage/relationship before starting a new one.

I'll have to look in the show's archive to watch the whole show because I found it very interesting that they both agree their marriage was "picture perfect".

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6570700
default

Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 2:38 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013

I didn't watch the show, but after reading this thread I have it set to DVR on re-run tomorrow.

My question is, is this "Lawrence" really an OM if she started dating him 10 months after her H had moved out and filed for divorce?

My XH started "dating" my xBFF probably within 10 days of me moving out after discovering my A. I don't consider her his "OW."

I will be interested to watch this episode tomorrow.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 8:38 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]

Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again

Staying together for the kids

D-day 2010

posts: 6490   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6570717
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy