Wow… where to start.
Back in August 2013, my WW was traveling a bunch for work. One day I was using the “find my iPhone” feature to find the kid’s iPad and to my amazement, my wife was 5 minutes away at a hotel. So snoop mode turned on. This was on August 27th. I started looking through her emails, Facebook, etc. I found where she was going to have some sexy pictures taken, on the 28th, for my birthday. First off, she is very self-conscience when it comes to her body, so this was something a friend did for her hubby and she was trying it with me. So I thought, well, she was staying in the hotel because she needed to get ready and whatnot before the pictures. I then start watching her phone all the time. She went to her picture session, which was legit, and came back home later and I think she went to work. I’m like … ok cool… she is doing something cool for me.
Then Thursday she had to go back out of town for “work”. Yea, like I wasn’t going to check. Bam… back at the same hotel. This time I went over there. Showed up and texted her from the parking lot. Tried to get the hotel room number from her. Threatened to her to call her god mother and disable her truck so it wouldn’t start in the morning. She finally came outside. We talked for a few minutes in the parking lot, she claimed she was getting picture taken in the hotel room by the same photographer. But I had seen the Facebook convo's and the photographer had never mentioned anything about a hotel room. WW said she would be home after the pictures but didn’t come home until the morning.
We talked, didn’t shout or yell too much. She said she hadn’t been happy and I was pushing her away. I said it seemed like she didn’t want to be bothered. See she has been through a lot. Parents married and divorced multiple times, raped once as a kid, been thought 2 battles with ovarian cancer, 1 time with cervical cancer, and currently kidney cancer. So here she is sick all the time anyways. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to make excuses, just making sure everything is out on the table. I spent a lot of time playing online video games with other people, as I look back, too much time on them.
But anyways, she said no one was with her (other than the photographer). Denies an affair, says she needed some alone time. Stuff does not still line up. I keep digging and digging. I find the wonderful program Dr.Fone for iOS, and recover deleted text message from her iPhone. That’s when I discovered the OM. Sexting and lots of it. I knew they weren’t from me, because we never sexted (would have been great if she did). That afternoon I came home from work early and confronted her with the explicit text messages. She starts going into defense mode. “You were just ignoring me” “Not showing me affection” etc etc etc. Which yes.. this is a true statement… caused by lack of communication and ignorance. I’m not blaming myself for the EA…. I’m simply stating that these actions resulted in these feelings. It was still her choice to have the EA. Which she renamed this person a few times, but I had the phone number now.
But there are still facts that don’t make sense. These text message aren’t just sexting and talking about personal life, they include work stuff. And not just work talk like when she talks with me at the end of her day. It’s talking with someone that knows people there and operations, etc. So I confront her again, and she comes clean with that it is an hourly just on the production floor. She is the HR manager, which is another reason for my shock. I told her to cut it off. It stops… no more..... She agrees and I’m under the impression it is over.
We sign up for counseling right away and have an appointment the following week or so. We go to about 3 or more sessions. We are already communicating better and start the healing process. There are a few bad days, but the good days far outweigh the bad. We are talking like we have never talked before. We weren’t really getting anything from the MC, so we choose to stop. TBH, I wasn’t that impressed with the MC myself. September goes by, then October and then November. Everything is great for us, or so it seems.
She had using a company phone quite a lot and something started to feel strange. I start snooping more. I have the phone number of this phone. She never talks to anyone on it… just texts. I used some contacts that I know and learned it was NOT on a company account and that it was a pre-paid phone. So I went on the cell phone provider’s website and got access to the account. I saw that there were lots of text messages, but it doesn’t show who they were from or where they were going.
I confront her about it. She said she wasn’t ready to end it. She didn’t want to end it on my terms, she wanted to end it on hers. She sent him a text and told him it was over. This happened last week. There are things that still don’t add up and I’m tired of looking, TBH.
We scheduled MC with a different one, hopefully this one will be better. I want to try and make this work, but all the lies make it sooooo hard.
She is remorseful and takes ownership of her actions. I out’ed her to her best friend today, as she didn’t know. Not sure why exactly I did, but I needed another ear to listen to me. Anyways… that’s all for now.
