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movingforward777 (original poster member #6850) posted at 9:02 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
Nine days ago I took my 85 yr old Mum to hospital by ambulance with pneumonia. She has not improved, in fact worsened. Today I had to make some tough decisions about her care and have decided to make her palliative. She can't swallow, can't speak, has had a small heart attack since going into hospital because of how hard her body is working to breathe, and they are questioning whether she has had a stroke.
Even though I am a nurse it has been a tough decision. I don't want her to suffer and linger on fighting to breathe, but it is hard to let her go too. My family are on board with the plan of care, and are all praying it will not be a long and drawn out death for her.
Please pray for her comfort, for wisdom for the staff working with her, and for myself and my family. Loving someone means not letting them suffer....I wish it just felt better doing this for someone I love so much...... 
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 9:18 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
I am so very sorry. You are making loving and courageous decisions for your mom, and I am so sorry they hurt like they do. Sending you love and strength. 
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 9:25 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear this. This sounds exactly like what happened with my grandmother. She went in with pneumonia. I don't think she was in the hospital too long before she passed.
Sending you strength and (((Hugs))) to get through this difficult time.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 9:29 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 9:33 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
Ditto Meta. (((Moving forward))))
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 10:10 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 10:54 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 11:00 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:49 PM on Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
unfound ( member #12802) posted at 12:27 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
Keeping you and your family close in my heart
ka-mai
*************
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
((((((movingforward))))) Sending you comfort, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 2:04 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
You've made a difficult but loving decision.
Hugs.
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
HUM1021 ( member #6222) posted at 2:09 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
Me: BS 34
Her: WS 33
M 5 years
dday with 1st OM 4/30/04 EA/PA
dday with 2nd OM 12/11/04 EA/PA
on the reconciliation rollercoaster
million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
I work in an ICU and see these scenarios play out all the time. Not everyone is able to make these tough decisions, your mom is very lucky to have you. Hugs.
Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 2:20 AM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:48 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
(((moving)))
A tough decision, but a selfless one. Having seen families not be able to make this choice, know that you are doing something very selfless.
May she find comfort and peace.
(((and strength)))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
movingforward777 (original poster member #6850) posted at 5:06 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
Thank you all for your love and support....
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 5:09 PM on Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
(((Movingforward))))
I'm so very sorry
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
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