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When I asked him what she had that I didn't he said "a smile".....nice Hugh! I get so pissed just typing that!

"She's my back-up" but he never said he wants a backup wife so I'm guessing she was for backup sex!

Lame lame lame

When I asked him what she had that I didn't he said "a smile".....nice Hugh! I get so pissed just typing that!

What an a**!

For his first affair (same D-day), his excuse is that "he wanted to see if he could really pleasure a woman" because having a wife who was non-orgasmic with intercourse somehow made him less of a man I guess.

For the second affair, his excuse was that "he didn't think I loved him any more and he wanted to feel desired"

The man needs to figure out that manhood doesn't come from the penis.

So many r coming back to me now reading all of yours. I never really wanted to have sex, and regretted it every time. So that's why u did it 20 plus times. It was always, she kissed me , she intitiated sex, she took my clothes off (and she must have forced every thirust of his penis)?

Oh and and I got the "I was weak shit to". Oh u r so much stronger then me....bull shit I apparently was the only one who gave two shits about marriage vows though.

This pissed me off to:

She complimented me and made me feel good about myself.

I say "I complimented u all the time"

He says, "u have to your my wife"

In another breath. U made me feel bad about myself when I didn't mow lawn etc.

So let me get this straight, I couldn't compliment him cause I have to say that stuff but he believes when I say bad things so.... I was In a lose lose situation.

And I love this one: he was with her for 4 years so, he was in a long term relationship so at that point shouldn't have her compliments been in the category of " she had to say that stuff now?". I told him that he tells me. I never thought of it that way. Nope just in terms of how to throw the wife further and further into a pile of shit.

"I love you but I really like women"

"We are animals at heart so it is normal to give in to those instincts"

Yeah, talk about avoiding responsibility

It just happened.

yeah

This is my favorite I just remembered.

" she asked for my number, and well I saw everyone else do it, so what's the harm"

I said, well then jack ass u would have told me u gave your number to someone if it was "all good and fine" to do so.

[This message edited by sad34 at 10:59 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]

I didn't think you loved me anymore there was a major disconnect

(yeah for you and you unplugged us!)

She gave me attention and made me feel special

(and was she taking care of your kids, cooking you dinner, washing your clothes, running your errands, giving special attention to your family? of course she had time for you but where is she now? Did she stand by you after like me or did she tell you to back off yeah real loyal...lip service is a breeze for someone a million miles away...oh but she wins your attention at the price of your wife and kids...traded in a smooth running clean beautiful classic for a pretty clunker...she may have looked pretty on the outside but she was rusty and had effed up stinky interior with many many many many miles many)

It snowballed things got out of hand and went way too fast

(you are not allowed to make snowballs with other women or anything having to do with balls with other women you should have set fire to that and fast!You loved making that damn snowball liar)

I needed an escape from reality

(ever dawn on you that would have been nice for me I could have used that attention while sweating my butt off countless days being lonely at home while you "worked" but instead of an escape with the mother of your children you escaped with a far less superior ditz! was your pie in the sky fantasy everything you thought it would be?...he said no...he realized he could have had a far better time with me...yup...that's right. Now if we can only rewind and cross out tacky whores and temptation

Sorry for long bitter post

"In my mind, my marriage was over"

"She's everything you're not"

"She's up for anything"

"Why does it matter as long as it doesn't change how I feel about you?"

"I felt it was okay as long as I was nice to you, too."

"You didn't know, so it couldn't hurt you, and it made us feel good. It was just for fun."

Omg reading all these posts get me they are so into themselves only...it's sad really almost as though they are missing a chip of some kind empathy being one of them hugs to everyone

'It was an ego thing.'

'It was the one thing in my life I didn't have to plan and could just run with.'

'It was like a hobby.'

'I thought you secretly might have been gay.' (LOL?!)

'I felt that you had already exited the marriage.' (WTF?)

'I actually thought you knew it was going on for a while anyway'

I could fill up buckets with all the lame excuses xWH gave for his choices. Every one was and still is ridiculous and a ton of bs. I don't even care anymore what the "real" reason is, it doesn't matter to me.

The one that bothered me for a long time was, "What was I supposed to do? You weren't touching me." Oh, I don't know maybe touch me and be loving and supportive of me?

It was just another way to blame me for his choice.

This one may be on here. He said "we were having problems and I thought we were on our way to done". Really? So that made it ok?

The most idiotic and infuriating one:

"I did it to help our marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed, so if I went and found it elsewhere, I would be happier and so our marriage would be better."

YA, Einstein, `cause every relationship is improved by selfish, deceitful, hideous betrayal.

Jerk. Still makes my blood boil.

I told him I wanted him to be happy and have the best life possible so he thought it would be ok. It wasn't!

Heard it from OM "she can't help how she feels"

Why the fuck did she let herself get close to him in the first place????? Stop spending all your damn time with another man and spend time with your own friends!!!!

The ex was meeting guys by trolling CL and AFF. She created a name that sounded like a typical porn star name, and her email address was a variation of terribletrouble@emailprovider.com.

She claimed she was only contacting these men to see how they would treat their wives in a similar situation (she was having problems at work and I knew her boss)and unfortunately it turned sexual. I guess CL and AFF are the new place good marital advice.

I was amazed at the stupidity of this statement, and later learned that she started her little fantasy life before she was having the problems at work.

My WH said that the reasons he went to FFN and other dating websites were:

-Because his work situation (only 2 of them in the office, one other male) was quite lonely. He was used to interact with lots of people so he tired to recreate his "old" office situation by having women online friends, and chatting and texting them all day long ( yup, the idiocy and stupidity is beyond measure!!! grrrrr)

-I wasn't very nice and friendly enough

-I was angry all the time (which isn't true)

And the reason for having sex with the std infected OW? Well, she was 28 and she came on to me. It had never happened before - such idiot!