SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Ok, I win.

I remember sitting in a meeting, both of our attorneys next to us, and him sheepishly grinning and telling me "she was juicy."

WTH?!?

Of all the stupid, asinine, disrespectful things I have ever heard in my life- this moment still ranks in as number one.

i just get "i dont know. i ask myself that too. i dont know why i did it".

this is after 2 ONS, one LTA EA & PA, 6-7 guys sexting and nude pics sent.

she tells me it felt wrong but kept doing it. wtf. one ONS guy spit in her face 2x while having sex and she tells me that she was considering for a few days to have another ONS with him. uh yeah...

From MC: The economy tanked and the company he worked for wasn't doing good. He hated his job. The had lunch, drank some wine, then it just happened. Then it continued to just happen because it felt good.

But the real deal he gave me right when I confronted him with the evidence "Because I never had sex with anyone else but you."

So many of your posts ring true for what wh has said, but when it gets right down to it - he had an affair because he was stupid.

Two that annoy the hell out of me are:

1. You were busy with your friend (um, my friend had end stage cancer!)

2. You didn't smile like she did --- see #1, you idiot!!!

I blasted him to kingdom come when he made those two statements.

How sad..all these affairs based on assumptions of what the BS was feeling.

Mine was so specific. I came home one night after taking care of my dying mother, hopped in the whirlpool tub. BS wanted to join me, and I apparently turned him down in a rude and unthoughtful way. It was at that moment he decided to look for sex elsewhere.

How much more specific could that be. I can't even take a bath now.

For months all I got was "I don't know why I did it" and that infuriated me. Then recently H looked at me and nearly screamed "Don't you know that there are women out there just looking to get f***ed?!? She wanted me to f**k her, so I f***ed her!" and that just sickened me.

This is just a copy/paste, directly from an email he sent. He claims his affair was the only way he knew how to get out of our marriage and these were the reasons that were enough to do it:

"Our two sides never got along, nor did you really and my side. Yes you tried as hard as you could but I couldn't ever see it being right. You always brought them up while we were having fights of our own that didn't even remotely have anything to do with them. The daily living between us got to be too routine. I know I had a lot to do with that, but that was me feeling trapped. We both never really saw our families or friends. The housework would always pile up, and it always seemed like we were keeping score of who did what and how many times and so on. That wasn't ok with me, and I'm sure you felt the same. I do understand that this was a two way street and I too, am to blame."

...and I too, am to blame.

JerseyGirl, assuming you didn't bury something in his skull after that, you deserve a medal!

If you did, then you deserve two medals.

"I didn't want to get sick" He introduced her to heroin.

OW#1 - "I thought our marriage was over." Funny, he never told me that, just the OW. This was 3 yrs into it, after I had our first child, moved in with my mom (I was 20 and scared) for a few weeks so she could help me. I had "abandoned him" even though I asked him to come stay there with me when he was in on weekends (worked out of town then). "I went to the bar to drown my sorrows." "I went to the bar to learn to like beer; I didn't go to get laid."

OW#2 - "She was fun." "I took the wrong path." "I was never going to leave you." "I didn't think a BJ from another woman was a big deal. I see it is now."

"she was juicy"

My God I've now heard it all. Better be careful at the green grocers then.

This is from the brilliant mind of Sir Shagalot:

"She wanted to be controlled" (it was up to me to tell her when she could have sex with her own husband and report back to me)

"Her marriage was ruined anyway" (therefore it was my job to destroy it forever)

"I only went over for coffee" (obviously the local deli was closed)

"We had a sick relationship" (apparently this was preferable to having a healthy one with me)

"We didn't have sex all the time. Sometimes we went for months without it" (poor dears)"

and my favourite:

"the last 25 years with you were the best of my life but the last 10 years were only 9/10ths perfect"

OW1- " I knew you were going to hell and I wanted to go with you." - because I had cheated first I guess.

OW2- "you had two so I got to have two" - referring to me being sexually assaulted to a second affair.

He doesn't remember saying either of these things.....

"You always spend too much at Christmas." This, on May 23, 2010, as his first listed reason for cheating (with the "last" OW). Literally moments after I confronted him, and asked him why, he said this.

"It was an accident." Yes, of course it was. Totally accidental. You accidentally told your wife you needed the (only) family car all day (4-5 times a week,leaving her stranded, with a toddler and later a toddler and newborn, in an area where there was NOTHING to do but stay at home without a car, in a climate where even playing outdoors was frequently not a possibility) because you "had to work late" or "go to a class," and "didn't want to bother me and uproot the kids" to pick you up so late. (Such a hard-working man! So intent on furthering your education!)

That Demon Car evilly self-navigated (night after night after night after night) to one of a series of strip clubs, where you accidentally spent thousands of dollars "not doing anything" until a woman accidentally tripped and impaled herself on your (rather hard to locate) penis---after you'd accidentally paid her to do so. (Those damn stripper shoes are so hard to walk in. It really could have happened to anyone.)

Gah. The list goes on and on and on. And the stupidity does not cease.

[This message edited by solus sto at 11:23 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)]

Your friend Ms X is over our house too much (dinner approximately once a month). And XH was also friends w/her.

That was the dumbest. But there were so very many others.

WTFE, dude.

One of the excuses was that I gave too much attention to the dog. The reality is that the dog was my responsibility because he couldn't be bothered. AND the dog had been dead for at least 10 years before the A.

He said, "It was supposed to be a fling. I didn't stop it."

He said, "she asked me first. "What's your status?" he said to her, "Oh, my wife is dead."

Nope. Not dead.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:55 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]

I can't remember who is it that has the CORN STORY!! Please someone chime in...seriously the best I ever heard.

Mine was "But, her boobs were really big."

He claimed he thought I was cheating on him..

I've never cheated on him and he now realizes that was lame excuse that he didn't really believe.

Heart, you asked for the corn story so I'm happy to oblige....

I asked what caused him to make the decision to cheat on me.

We had had a stupid tiff over CORN ON THE COB. he said that is what caused it!

a stupid tiff over CORN ON THE COB is what made him decide to cheat on me the same night with OW2.

What was the little tiff you ask? He had decided, after 18 YEARS, that he never liked when I made corn-on-the-cob. He prefers frozen corn.

gah! I think back to when we had that ridiculous conversation and want to throttle him all over again

and let's not forget how he proclaimed a few months later that "we'd look back on this and laugh" (meaning his affairs)

there used to be a thread called the "stupidest shit they've said" and I so wish I had bookmarked it because I'd bump it.

"You know how she is. She won't take no for an answer."

Urrgg