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never ever ever.. ever.

only way I would consider it is: if I had kids w them and the person proved to me w out asking, all the right things. but then again we would not be divorced if that person did that in first place.

so never ever ever.

[This message edited by lifestoshort at 12:27 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]

breathe

Not even if he were boiled in Clorox first.

Oh, HELL NO!

I left in October. I don't miss him. AT ALL.

No.

Well, I know I'm bucking the trend here, but I've thought a lot about this, and I would take her back. Really.

However, I'd have the following non-negotiable conditions:

1. We will not cohabitate. She'll remain in her condo and I in my house;

2. We will not tell the kids;

3. We will not spend time together;

4. I'll continue to date my SO;

5. She wont contest any provisions of the pre-nuptial agreement I provide her, and will sign it and the marriage license in the presence of my attorney;

6. Following our immediate re-divorce, she won't contact me again. Per the aforementioned pre-nup, child support payments will be deposited into a joint-access account, with expenditures subject to my review, and I will no longer pay for any aspect of her lifestyle.

I think about it. Like, reel him in for some false R, so I can fuck his brother, best friend, boss, etc. Then kick him out of his house, take his $$$, his dog & inflict 1% of the shit he saw fit to heap on me.

That revenge fantasy makes me laugh. I'd never do it, tho.

Like Dmari said, I don't deserve him. Initially, I felt that OW didn't deserve him. It's taken a bit to understand that yes, yes, OW is the one who absolutely deserves him.

I know him well enough to know that he's never going to change. Taking him back is a moot point, at best.

NEVER in a million years would I ever, ever, ever consider taking him back. which answers the second part of your question.

Only if he'd gotten a lobotomy!!!!!!

Like Dmari said, I don't deserve him. Initially, I felt that OW didn't deserve him. It's taken a bit to understand that yes, yes, OW is the one who absolutely deserves him.

Absofuckinglutely!!

I thought I would at first. But the more I pondered the more I concluded I did the right thing. Affairs are selfish. He did not consider anyone, but himself. My kids are crushed my self worth is gone. The emotion scars will haunt my kids. WH flaunted affair in front of my two young sons. And neither him or OW who was my friend showed any remorse. who can hurt their kids like that and not feel guilt.

HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He doesn't deserve me ! Besides he's almost 75 yrs old and has a child under the age of one with Twat. No fucking way am I paying his child support,

would you take them back and under what conditions?

That really was a joke wasn't it ?

No I would not take him back.

Or, maybe I would if I did something that I felt was so irredeemable and unforgivable that I needed to be punished for life. Then yep, taking him back would be punishment enough for that crime.

NO- NEVER. My MC said to me, "How long do you want to keep drinking poison?" No more for me thanks. I'll let the OW partake of that now. They deserve each other.

Wow! I feel pretty stupid after reading this. I have promised to give him a chance to start a new relationship once the separation agreement is legalized. Conditions are that he continue weekly therapy sessions for sexual addiction and the two of us would attend couples counseling at least once a month and then I would be willing to consider "dating". I told him that there was no chance that I would be willing to paste our old marriage back together.

(((SusanR))) don't feel stupid. Everyone is different and at different stages with different WS's. No might be the cool and often humorous answer but it doesn't mean it's the right answer for you. Your criteria seem solid.

NO WAY!

I would rather pack my ass full of 180s, and squat over a flaming hibachi, than take my XWW back!

~Jimmy Kimmel...well, sorta.

My ex sat me down and confessed and said he didn't want to loose his family. I gave him a list of things that he needed to do to have me work on R (I got several things right even before SI!). That lasted like 36 hours. Finally figured out he had taken his A underground, confronted him, and then he left. 3 weeks total. I was still offering R if he could meet my conditions until a couple of weeks later and I was in a pretty bad car accident with both kids and he choose to go to a concert w OW instead of coming home to help. He sent a friend to go to the accident site (note, once his best friend found out where he was ex was no longer his friend). The next IC appointment I walked in and said, your goal is to get me over him. I am done, I don't EVER want someone as selfish as him in my life. My brain has never wanted him back since that day. In fact other than one "conversation" that we had a few months later where he called me as much of a slut as I had called OW because I was spotted having a drink with a guy at a bar (oh, the horror!) I have never had a conversation with him that was longer that 3-4 sentences, even about the kids. It has been almost 4 years.

So there is nothing he or anyone could do that would ever want him back in my life.

Absolutely never ever ever ever

Hell no. I deserve more than a liar and a cheat.

I'd take her back immediately--IF she magically transformed into the person who never did this to me and our children.