SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Absolutely effing not. Even if I could trust her (ha!) she's incredibly broken and not attractive to me any more.

Wow! I love this spicy group!! Such humorous answers!!

My answer is no ~ I don't deserve him.

I agree with some of the others who say it has to do with time. When I think back to my dday, I probably would ... I mean I would have taken him back within a four month time period. Knowing, absolutely KNOWING, he would not be able to make any real changes and that we would be rugsweeping. I knew that if I was ok with rugsweeping, then I was not healthy. So more work on myself and taw-daa ... I know I deserve better.

I was thinking about asking this same question to this group. Having evaluated my situation, I know our relationship was not healthy. If I took him back, it would be unending cycle of cheating and assholetry.

Moving forward to better, healthier relationship. He belongs in my past and that's where he'll stay.

Well, if he had a brain, personality and temperament transplant *after* doing enough years of IC work on himself to be a human, I could take him back........

j/k!!

No freakin' way!!! If he were at my door, I like the idea of the slow door slam. But, I have orders from IC that if that happens, I'm to stay inside and call 9-1-1 because he is a danger to me.

I thought about Got2GO's idea of taking him back for the money. But it only took a second to realize that he would first have to D slut and half of what he might have left now would be gone. With him being their sole support, he might be at my door looking to M me for *my* money!

Nope, no way! Life is just too good now!

TAKE HIM BACK???

Take him back?

Here's what I wanted to do to him during MC when I was offering the possibility of R, but his response was that we were not allowed to discuss him, anything about him, anything I did not like about him or his behavior:

So let me be clear. Would I take him back?

In all I've run up about $50,000 in debt to divorce his perverted ass. I've worked long & hard to get away from him. Buh-bye, pervert!

NOPE! It will not happen! Never, she doesn't deserve another chance, she's had enough.

I was married for 22+ years, she was the love of my life (or so I thought ). It didn't take long to realize I had been treated like crap for a long time, it is amazing how many people tell you this after the divorce. I have met another woman that is so strong and has true courage. There is no way I would go back to that life!

BSB

I love the responses! Nature_Girl I was giggling in anticipation of your reply when I posted!

I saw some people mentioning R criteria so I was wondering his many there were that are still willing.

The Snake said to me the other day something like "once you divorce me you can't get me back". I was trying to imagine under what scenario I'd be begging HIM

N_G, I can NOT believe you would be that nice to him after he said that in MC!!!!

No, never. There is no way to ever forget the evil inflicted during false R.

One of his latest emails, "you will never find anyone else like me".

Good lord I hope not!!!

Yet another firm:

NO

Edited to add:

Hell NO! He just repulses me now.

This happened to me too. I had to see him for one of DD's events. He opened his mouth to say something and I literally felt ill.

I am so thankful for those repulsive feelings. I feel so sad for the folks I see on here that are in such pain even after much time has passed.

Ironically what is more of a dealbreaker to me now (4 yrs out); is how he treated me during the D. All the lies, stalking, breaking in my house, stealing my stuff, etc. I expected him to man-up during the D.

Silly me.

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 7:20 AM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

No.

She is a hopeless coward. Irresponsible, uncommitted and full of excuses.

Depends on the day, but I am only 3 weeks out from dday and him moving in with OW.

Mostly no - he kept me hostage with lies and refused intimacy for me for so long that I wouldn't know how to feel desire for him again. I miss the (perception of) stability and not having to worry about money and that sort of thing. And I miss the identity that came with being a "wife" sometimes.

Sometimes I wish that we could create a relationship for being co-parents that looked like something from a sit-com with us joking and getting along and all of that, but that is just fantasy.

I would rather have a root canal, a migraine and a pap smear all on the same day.

I wouldn't go back to him for anything. He's vile, he's a compulsive liar and cheater, and not a very nice person either.

NO. I'm done. I don't think there is any way to repair the damaged relationships between my children or myself. He is so selfish and caught up in his pity parties. His life sucks and I don't want to be a part of it any longer. Life is too short. I'm not far out and my life is already better. It is still a hard choice but I think it's more about the truth hurting and facing the fact he was always broken.

I can't wait to have funnier answers in the future....not quite there yet though but I loved reading these!

Very interesting that there is not any takers, and very strongly stated too. I am sure emotions are quite strong here. But I have known couples to remarry after D, so it must happen even if the percentage is low.

My WW has not left but the D is only weeks away and almost final.

After D, would I take her back? There are two answers that I would give. One, if she is the altered being she is now I could not. But if she were a remorseful and truly reformed person, then the answer is yes.

I think I am not ready to invalidate my past, my M in the good years. However I am not willing to accept her current incarnation.

Fuck no.

As long as my arse points downwards, Sir Shagalot will NEVER enter my life again as anything other than the father of my children.

He can remain in the Shire of Shag with Lady Quimavere for the rest of his days as far as I am concerned. The amount of shit he has served on me and our children means there would not be a shovel big enough to follow behind him.

EJ

I would rather have a root canal, a migraine and a pap smear all on the same day.

Plus a mammogram and a colonoscopy!

Plus a mammogram and a colonoscopy!

Funnily enough I recently had both within two days of each other. At least with the colonoscopy I have no recollection of having been shafted and my boobs bounced back having been flattened by what felt like a steamroller.