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So since D-day he has pass-worded the cell phone account. He claims my looking at his usage caused problems. I say him screwing the B caused problems. It's been over two years since I asked that he stop contact. My daughter need to replace her phone. I asked again for the code for Verizon. No way he won't give it to me. Anyone believe he ever stopped the contact?

Sounds like he is still having an affair.

There is no reason you shouldn't be able to look. I look at ours all the time, and can't see how you could do anything to mess it up. Sounds like he is hiding something, unfortunately.

People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

I will confirm what you already know. He is protecting a secret. I'm sorry. I know how that feels. I got the password and all I could say is OMG.

Part of a genuine R is no password you don't know. He isn't in R honey. Sorry.

He never stopped contact . I was able to get his phones pass code with a nanny cam. He always sits on the same chair after work before dinner is ready, so I put the nanny cam behind and above his chair. Someone is calling him on unknown and magicjack numbers. I tried calling them put they have some kind of block that only the called phone can contact them. I am not sad, crazy, or emotional. I find myself being very calm and I will continue to monitor. He is always home, we go everywhere together on our off days and he is not as angry. When there is no transparency it's because the are still lying.

So many of us bs have DD's that were confirmed by phone.usage, including myself. There's a reason he's blocking you. It doesn't mess anything up by looking, that's bullshit. It does however mess up someone who's being shady and hiding phone usage.

Yup, still hiding something.

Sorry he sounds like he's up to no good!!

Demand he unlock the phone infront of you without warning him so he has no time to clean up

I really don't need to see the usage. We all know they talk. All looking can do is say how much. And what is too much? Even 1 call or text. I know it is all past that.

This is not only evidence of cheating, it is emotional cruelty. It tells you that you, as his wife, will be denied your rights. As his life partner, you have as much a right to see the phone bill - and his phone - as he does. If you give in to this, there will be more and more of your rights taken away until you feel that you are not a wife, not co-owner of the house, etc. Demand your rights, just for the sake of having them.

And take a good look at the online phone bill on a regular basis.

My ex did this. When I finally saw it, I had my evidence, and I copied it.

If he continues to deny you your right, the nanny cam is a great idea!

He's a selfish bastard that's still hiding something....sorry

I would say he absolutely continued contact, but either way he is not accepting what he has done and trying to earn your trust. There is no reason you should not have access to the account...it is yours too.

1 message (assuming there is no OC) is too much.

And it wasn't you looking at the phone records that caused the problem in the marriage. Only caused him the problem, he got busted.

Sounds like he's up to no good

He claims my looking at his usage caused problems.

The Princess pulled this shit with me. The problem was that I found out she was cheating - the fact that she WAS cheating had nothing to do with anything. This was part of what made me finally realize our reconciliation was a fucking joke. I'm sorry, but I don't believe for a second that your husband has stopped contact.

It sucks that it's up to you to clean things up, but you need to figure out what you're going to do about it. It doesn't sound like he is willing to do anything.

justme29,

Are you authorized on the account? And, do you have a keylogger on your computer?

He is listed as the "account owner". I am just an "account member". Just because he needed to get a new phone before I did, and started the account. I can't even go in and upgrade my phone. He has to give the security code to authorize it.

He doesn't use the online options. The site has been locked since I tried the password too many times 2 years ago. Customer service has to be called (with the security code) to unlock it.

Without sounding too harsh, this is absolutely ridiculous! How did you manage to stay with him when he wouldn't grant you access to his cell phone bill? Have you even seen it once since you found out about the A?

And since your cell phone is on the bill as well...he has full access to what you are doing, calling and texting?? Yeah...that's fair.

You looking at his phone records didn't cause problems, HE DID BY CHEATING!

He is blowing it! I'd tell him Total Transparency or you will walk. He is in no position to be calling the shots.