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gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 8:50 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Six years ago today I said "I do" to a man I never really knew. I was so happy. I thought I'd found my forever, finally. I had no idea I was committing my life to someone who would turn out to be the worst person I've ever met.
One year ago we "celebrated" with a very awkward and non-romantic dinner date. He was so distant and cold, well into his affair and no doubt wishing he was anywhere else. I knew we were having problems but I had no idea what was truly going on.
This year I'm single. Alone, yes. But I also don't have all the nagging doubt and misery I was battling on this day last year. Feeling like the marriage was dying and being totally helpless to save it. This year its cut and dry. The marriage is dead. Buried. Grass has grown back over the gravesite and it's not a fresh, gaping wound anymore.
I'm glad to get another "first" behind me. First Valentines and first birthday last month sucked. This is actually a piece of cake compared to that double-whammy.
The rest of the day is full. I'm working now and this evening (like most Mondays) I'm doing two classes at the gym with some friends: strength training followed by Zumba. Of course, the day ain't over yet...but so far I think I'm doing okay.
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 8:54 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
(((gypsybird)))
I am glad you think you are ok. I think you are awesome!
Happy "day to celebrate YOU."
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 8:59 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
The firsts all suck. Any okay that you think you are doing on those days is a major victory.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:01 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
I'm so happy for you. I can't wait for that grass to start growing on my end!!
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 9:30 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Happy Zumba hip rotations, Baby!
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 9:42 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
(((gypsy)))
Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.
gypsybird87 (original poster member #39193) posted at 10:35 PM on Monday, March 3rd, 2014
Thanks all.
Happy Zumba hip rotations, Baby!
Zumba is definitely one of the best anti-depressants I've found!
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Duskpearl ( member #41870) posted at 9:30 AM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2014
My WH bday is the same day as your anniversary! He & the OW went away for the weekend as they did 2 weeks before that to celebrate Valebtine's Day! Ironically, he never cared much about celebrating his bday & thought bdays were for kids. And he was never that big on Valentine's Day either & after 12 years together it wasn't even acknowledged in the later years!
Our last anniversary was spent in NY (10 yrs last Nov), it was also strained as 2 weeks prior I found some emails to a co worker. It was way too late to cancel the trip. Within the first week of arriving home it was over & he practically moved right in with the she bloke OW! 
Like you I thought I married the man I would be with for life. We were so happy & he loved me so much. But something changed inside him & I no longer know who he is.
I'm alone also but have to remind myself that towards the end I was actually alone when I was with him....
(((hugs)))
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows
Caretaker1 ( member #42777) posted at 9:54 AM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2014
Approaching first anti versary first also. I care but don't. I too was alone in a marriage. I too had a weak 10 year anniversary where I planned fun things and she took little effort to enjoy the milestone. She moved on with another divorcee and Disney dad playing house. Wishing some days they get engaged and others just shaking my head over a lifetime of shared custody. Many cluster b and bipolar traits too much rage walking on eggshells.
It's drama each week and bullying. Doing my best to keep minimum contact.
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 10:12 PM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2014
(((gypsy)))
The first one is really rough. The first one after the D wasn't as rough, oddly.
Glad you have a full & fun day planned for yourself.
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
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