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Off Topic :
Now DS is missing...

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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 11:23 PM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014

Was thinking about you again today. Sending more thoughts and prayers your way.

(((((Phoenix1)))))

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 6775167
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sudra ( member #30143) posted at 11:38 PM on Saturday, April 26th, 2014

Just saw this thread yesterday. My heart hurts for you and all of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Me (BW) (5\64), Him(SAWH) (68)Married 31 years, 1 son (28), 1 stepdaughter (36) DDay #1 January 2004DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)Working on R

posts: 1876   ·   registered: Nov. 17th, 2010
id 6775178
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carnelian ( member #24824) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, April 27th, 2014

Thinking about you and your family today

(((Phoenix1))

What are you going to do when he leaves you?

posts: 567   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 6775669
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Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 3:07 PM on Sunday, April 27th, 2014

Phoenix1,

Sending strength, thoughts and prayers to you and your family today.

Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen

posts: 1066   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Must Survive
id 6775684
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:02 PM on Sunday, April 27th, 2014

((((Phoenix and family)))

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6775740
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AgainandAgain ( member #34835) posted at 6:02 PM on Sunday, April 27th, 2014

Just wanted to know I'm thinking of you and your family.

I'm sending hugs and strength your way!

posts: 246   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012
id 6775860
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truthsetmefree ( member #7168) posted at 6:51 PM on Sunday, April 27th, 2014

So much in life I don't understand.

My heart hurts for you in the loss if your SIL.

My heart breaks for the loss of your brother.

There is no description adequate for the feelings on the loss of your sweet son.

For how this has happened...for the magnitude in the timing - it's just simply too hard to comprehend. It feels insurmountable to just try to offer you any comfort. I know I am woefully inadequate.

I think of you often. I send you love and light every time. I'm so very sorry that any of this has happened.

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo

Funny thing, I quit being broken when I quit letting people break me.

posts: 8994   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2005
id 6775919
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knutz ( member #28877) posted at 2:20 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

I hope that you and your family are getting the rest and nourishment you all need. We are all here for you when you are ready.

Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

posts: 265   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2010   ·   location: New England
id 6776378
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 Phoenix1 (original poster member #38928) posted at 4:35 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Thank you all for the continued support. Made it thru the funeral and burial. Going thru all the military honors a second time was rough, though touching. Hearing taps played again and the rifle salute was tough. He is finally off display, which really bothered me, and is at rest. The cemetery is actually quite beautiful, surrounded by forest and he is facing the mountains. I am certain he would like it knowing wildlife wanders freely on the grounds.

Family has finally all left and I can decompress. All DS's soldier friends that were here all wanted to stop by and see DS's pride and joy that he routinely flaunted pics of...his jacked up '86 Ford F-150 mud truck. I let them start her up in his honor and they were crawling all over it checking out DS's mechanical work. It was quite touching and I know DS was looking down with pride.

We now have to wait for his personal effects to ship here and finish up with probate and military legal stuff. In the meantime, I am also working with nieces to plan bro and SIL's combined memorial services (taking place in two different states). I could be flying out again as early as next week for that. This is all really starting to wear on me, but it is good to finally have at least a little bit of breathing room again. Ex and I had a slight altercation at the reception because he was being an ass, but it was otherwise uneventful, especially with how much time we have been spending together. That will be a topic (rant) for another time in the D/S forum when I have the energy.

What an incredibly horrific month it has been...

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 10:53 PM, April 27th (Sunday)]

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 6776489
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 4:51 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Sending hugs to you Phoenix. I hope you weather these remaining tasks and find peace arriving day by day. ((((Phoenix))))

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 6776511
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InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 5:47 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Sending you hugs, prayers, strength, and peace. I can't believe you are going through all this.

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6776561
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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 5:53 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

(((Phoenix)))

Prayers

Strength

Mojo

BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle

posts: 5670   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6776566
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:01 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

((((Phoenix)))) You have been on my mind constantly, hon. Hope things go smoothly with planning the memorial services for your brother and sister-in-law.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6776569
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 6:29 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

((((Phoenix))))

Sending more strength. We are all thinking of you.

((((Phoenix))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 6776584
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okaynow ( member #13813) posted at 6:48 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

(((Phoenix))) Praying for you.

Married 18 yrs, together 25+.
D-day: 2/18/07.
1 child
The story doesn't really matter anymore. Time is a great healer. Life is good.

posts: 2463   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2007
id 6776592
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 1:54 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Oh, sweetie, my heart just aches for you. You are constantly in my thoughts.

((((Phoenix1))))

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6776730
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painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 3:29 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

I simply can not believe the hell you are enduring. OMG sweetie, massive thoughts and prayers for your strength and healing. ((((((Phoenix1))))))


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6776841
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Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 3:47 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

(((((Phoenix)))))

Thinking of you and praying for continued strength.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 6776864
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simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 3:51 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

(((HUGS)))

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6776868
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 4:01 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

((Phoenix))

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6776881
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