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I figured she would do that. The lazy boy was never about her actually wanting the lazy boy. When choosing the TV didn't set you off, she chose the lazy boy because she thought you'd be emotionally attached enough to say you wouldn't agree and then she could say you were the bad guy who wouldn't settle. She wanted the drama then so she could prove to herself and everyone else that she wasn't making a huge mistake divorcing you. You proved her wrong then.

She knew offering it after fighting for it would be another potential way to start drama. You have learned, every time, that the best way to keep the drama out of your life is no response unless necessary. In this case, she asked a question. You had two better choices than the one you went with: 1. No response 2. If you absolutely couldn't bring yourself to not respond, the simple answer of "No".

Personally, I think no response would be your best way to go because I believe even if you'd just said "No", you'd still have gotten some response about your attitude. She projects a lot.

Crickets. These are her death throes brother - I'm glad you shut that shit down and told her no further comms were necessary. No more responding about each item that she offers.

The funnier, totes innapropes response would be: You dumb, crazy bitch. Go suck on a bag of dicks.

She asked a question. A reasonable question really. Because if you drove by and said Lazy Boy was on the curb with no offer to you it would be "She could have at least asked me if I wanted it! My kids gave it to me...."

I'm speaking for AD here, but I think the point wasn't that she asked, but that she pitched such a fit over the chair prior to D and refused to sign the MSA unless he gave it to her and now..."I don't want it, do you?"

She is crazy to the nth degree! So sorry you are still dealing with her BS. Hopefully she tires of this eventually and finds someone new to annoy.

Ignore her texts. It's her twisted way of staying in contact. Leave it be. Take a walk, don't read them for days as nothing she is contacting you for is an emergency. Please NC or as little with her. Go away lady go bother your AP as you had a good man and family. Don't let the karma bus hit u on the way out.

Point taken. Thank you. I must have the following conversation in my head when this sort of thing happens again:

"How dare she! Does she not realize, remember, etc.?"

"She may or she may not. It doesn't matter."

"But if I remind her of --"

"No. Don't bother. It won't make any difference. It won't penetrate."

"But it's not fair."

"No, it sure isn't."

"So, if I must respond, just the facts?"

"Yes, just the facts. Take some breaths, scream aloud to yourself what you really want to say, and then respond factually, emotionlessly, with as few words as possible."

"Because it doesn't matter?"

"Correct. It doesn't matter."

I think that's far more headspace than she deserves. It should go more like this, IMHO:

Ping: text arrives from ex

Abbondad glances at phone and notes it's from ex.

Mental check: are kids with me?

Option a: YES. No further reaction required.

Option b: NO, kids are with ex. Abbondad opens text, scans to see if kids are bleeding or otherwise needing emergency assistance.

Sub option a: YES. Abbondad calls ex and asks why the flip she didn't call instead of texting and then proceeds to handle emergency accordingly.

Sub option b: NO. No further action required.

[This message edited by nekorb at 8:06 PM, April 16th (Wednesday)]

^^^^love !

You know, it's at times like this where you HAVE to sit on your hands or a "piss off stupid bitch" might go flying through the cell phone! Great job with the crickets.

Um.. I thought the post topic was LADY boy saga continues.

And thought hmm this could be interesting...

Then I read about the chair... And wondered how on earth a lady boy tied into it.

Then I re read the heading

Either way, I got a laugh

Edited to say.. Sorry abbondad. I did not mean to imply I was laughing at your misfortune.. I e been following your story and I kind of hear Benny hill music in the background when I picture your ex wife's shenanigans ....

[This message edited by Sadmumma at 1:32 AM, April 17th (Thursday)]

Thanks so much, everyone. I'm still angry over it, but it has, yet again, been a learning experience. The lesson: NC.

I'm speaking for AD here, but I think the point wasn't that she asked, but that she pitched such a fit over the chair prior to D and refused to sign the MSA unless he gave it to her and now..."I don't want it, do you?"

^^^^ Yes, this is exactly it. It was the fact that she made such an ordeal over this chair--and the fact that this chair was signficant and had relevance to the children--that this is so infuriating. I really should not be surprised. It is consistent with her Crazy.

Yes, this is exactly it. It was the fact that she made such an ordeal over this chair--and the fact that this chair was signficant and had relevance to the children--that this is so infuriating. I really should not be surprised. It is consistent with her Crazy.

AD, welcome to the next however many years you have before your kids are adults. Pull up a chair with the rest of us and join the "fun". We watch reruns of the same damn idiotic show every single day. It's called "my dumbass ex/stbx did the funniest shit today and actually thought I gave a fuck."

You'll get there it took me a good 6 or 7 months before I finally stopped letting the ex push my buttons or get me to respond to anything other than a kids related question. After awhile you will be able to "Professor X" her responses before she even texts them. Just because you get D doesn't stop the stupid shit. It just morphs into a different brand of stupid. They no longer have D shit to argue over so it now turns into kids stuff or whatever else they can think of at the moment. You actually will get used to this fairly quickly. The next big hurdle will be when YOU actually start dating. She will shit bricks then but by then you truly won't give a fuck. Your doing great man, enjoy your freedom and this shit to shall pass. Well it doesn't pass completely but you get used to it so ignoring it becomes second nature.

"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

Be prepared to receive a lot of this "anger" oriented form of trying to assign you blame.

I get very similar from the dysfunctional toxic POS that I divorced. In her mind, my not wanting to have anything to do with her is now something about me dealing with my "anger". Mind you, I don't talk, call, text, or communicate with this woman in any way except when it has to do with our children. I don't associate with any of her friends and have a good relationship with her family.

This is just the nature of the irresponsible and weak-minded. If there is an easy path to take - they will take it. Blaming is probably the easiest thing to do in life so she will always take that easy path.

Always know that who she was before you, while with you, and after you - never had anything to do with you.

"I'm sorry for your angry attitude; that's too bad."

I think crickets was a good response. No matter what you say/said in response to her question, she is coocoo and she'll always have some kind of stupid jab for you.

Although I probably would have replied with "LOL" or "LMAO" to her angry attitude comment. That would have thrown her for a loop.

Hello,

CXW texted me from the house to "confirm that I don't want anything else that is remaining in the house" and that she would "throw out" the rest.

I texted back, "That is correct. I want nothing."

I just passed the house to take my kids to their friends. She had thrown out 90% of everything she had demanded in the division of marital property--including her bicycle, a portable air conditioner, her grandmother's antique chairs, and of course...the Lazy Boy.

Over everything she had draped her wedding dress. (I'm sure she knew I would see this; my new house is right down the street.)

That stung for a minute, but then I just shook my head at how melodramatically nuts and pathetic she is.

(I took the bike. It's a great mountain bike ;-)

PS: DD told me what Mommy is doing with the big TV--she is bringing it to AP's vacation house. May it bring them years of bliss.

Good lord, the wedding dress too?

I would have snapped a picture, that would make a great album cover...

Glad you got the bike.

Or you can try a few of these ideas:

http://myexwifesweddingdress.com/the-list/

Actually, AD, take a pic of the stuff that's on the curb for trash and just tuck it away.

With your CXWW's level of crazy, you may need it.

"AD never turned over my dear granny's antique chairs. I'm going to sue him!"

GET A PICTURE OF EVERYTHING BY THE CURB IF IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!!!!

You may need this in the future.

Too late for pictures. Someone already picked it clean. :-(

One more thing: I went over to the house today to do some final cleaning, and looked more closely at the ton of stuff she'd left at the curb for trash pick up. Among it were all the kids' artwork (which adorned our entire kitchen), many special pictures of them, and a huge box of DD's dolls and stuffed animals.

This is very odd even for CXW. While of course she always puts her needs first, she loves them very much, "sentimentally" and in her own way. These sorts of memorabilia in particular are and have always been precious to her.

(She took a generator, though. I guess she figures she can sell it.)

Just very strange, upsetting, and vaguely creepy.

Please photograph what's left, and rescue your kids artwork and toys, your kids will be glad to decorate your new place with their art :)