SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No but I have in the past 2 days misread it as Free Shower, as in we went camping and they had free showers..... So not only misread, but misinterrepted what I am reading.

Oh Tushnurse, I hope you are feeling better soon! I have had one migraine in my life and it was brutal.

And Tush, you AND google both misread it as Free Shower. I put it in the search engine and it always says "did you mean FREE shower"

I emailed the hostess and politely declined. I am shocked that this woman would have a fee shower (MIL and SIL, no way, fee shower is totally up their alley) But this bride to be, I am surprised. Oh well! Thanks for the posts and for making me feel like Im not the only one who thinks a fee shower is bad!

I have no problem with the dollar dances -- which are totally optional for the *givers*.

But being REQUIRED to give someone money? Absolutely f'n NOT. (Well, I *might* make an exception for some type of extenuating circumstance)

But someone who is basically saying "We're going to take this fabulous honeymoon <or whatever the money's for> and YOU'RE going to pay for it" is just incredibly distasteful to me.

If I were told that I had to return a gift I had bought and could *only* give money -- I would have enjoyed that gift for myself and spent the day elsewhere.

Rather than be offended, sometimes it's easier to assume you aren't the target recipient, and all that's requested is your presence (and maybe a token gift).

A lot of people add ridiculously expensive items to a registry because they can get 10% off when they purchase it themselves. They also don't add all the cheap items because they don't know or care what kind of swaddling blankets or measuring cups they get, it doens't mean they aren't still appreciated. Some people have friends and family who absolutely want to purchase the china, kitchen-aid, stroller, or crib. Some people enjoy giving money for honeymoons or starter homes. Also showers are usually hosted, so don't always assume everything is the idea of the guest of honor.

Finally, just because you don't feel super close to someone, that doesn't mean they don't like you. Maybe you get invited to a coworker's baby shower because they appreciate your acerbic wit or think you'd decorate the hell out of a onesie. You never know, so contribute or don't according to how close you feel, and try not to read into someone else's intentions. If you over contribute they may well feel uncomfortable about it too.