SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

What Schaudenfruede said. I remember feeling good in my first MC session b/c we were there, which felt like progress. But nothing really got accomplished. You'll get to call her on some BS, but it won't be until after the session and in the coming days that you'll see whether she's in it to win it or not. Good luck dude.

Like Schadenfreude said, good luck tomorrow . Stay strong and don't buckle on what you need . Like he said if you go back to the dazed and bewildered guy that first posted you have done an overall amazing job of dealing with this shit sandwich you have been dealt.

It's obvious from your post you are not getting what you need.

I'm sure all that have advising you appreciate your thanks and we will all be rooting for you tomorrow

Remember, it could be a disappointing "get to know you" session

That is what I was thinking also. So don't be disappointed after this first session.

I hope you at least get to find out what your wife's big dilemma or decision has been all of this time. In other words, what her problem has been with the big decision making process.

Good luck.

Been following. Hope MC begins the healing. Bit I hav to agree with some earlier posts, MC or not, she had sex or not(probably did ) I'm sorry. Feel she met him on line they knew each other before Mexico. Either way it's been her show the whole time. Time to take your life back, you back. Drop the hammer she either tells all or that's it!! No more negotiations period. She needs to feel

The gravity( she doesn't been acting like a high school

Girl ) you will be ok u were before her and if needs be find someone you does love you really love you. Don't let HER make this decision, it's your life too damnit.

So I listened to the VAR today and heard her talking to the POS OP on Monday during the day. It was basically a breakup call, where he was breaking up with her because she hasn't left me yet. She was saying she just needed more time and was so confused (blah blah blah). This was extremely hard for me to listen to and I was a mess.

Tonight I asked her 4 times if she talked to him and she finally said that she hadn't for 2 weeks, but did talk on Monday. I said I was tired of the lies and was done. She cried and said she wanted to still try MC tomorrow. I said NO.

After talking for a couple hours. I told her if she called this guy and left a message or talked to him on speaker phone saying "I'm completely done with you and sorry, but it was a mistake. That she is getting back together with her husband and can never talk or communicate to him again".

I figured this would be the final nail on the coffin for this guy, since he already seemed upset he wasn't her first option on Monday's call.

Anyways, she told me that that wasn't necessary, because it was def over and be wouldn't even pick up. I said I didn't care and still wanted her to leave the voicemail. She first was complaining in how that would just be weird and she couldn't do it. I said there was nothing the last couple months that hasn't been weird with her A. I finally got it out of her that she didn't want to completely end this A.

I just left her downstairs and came up to our bedroom. I told her we are 100% done and there will be NO MC tomorrow. I told her that I am going to tell both out families and friends tomorrow in a message and this was it. She just sat there.

I meant every word and am completely done. I just don't understand how I can mean so little that she won't even call and leave a message to a guy she hardly knows.

Anyways, thank you everybody for your help. I guess I won't get the chance to see how MC would have gone. I know now though that she is not in this and doesn't want to try.

Not sure how I will make it through this. The betrayal and rejection is almost to much to even bare.

We are all here for u brother. And I know the gut wrenching feeling you hav. Stay the course. She will come back and suddenly want your marriage again. Don't cave. Remember this pain and know u will find someone somebody who won't cause it. Take all the time u need but stay I'm touch

We can help. She checked out along time ago don't get fooled by her ever again call family

Wrap yourself there for awhile!

Do not trust ANYTHING she says it's all lies. Trust only you and your family(maybe some of us ))

IUH, just popped in to say how sorry I am for the final revelation.

I just don't understand how I can mean so little that she won't even call and leave a message to a guy she hardly knows.

Only two responses for that.

1. She knew him a lot better than you know.

2. Even if she didn't *know* him that well, would you ever want to stay with someone so fickle? That indicates a level of damage so deep, that I doubt recovery would be possible. She could *never* be safe. (To you)

Strength brother. There are some great people in the D/S forum who can help guide you through this.

Stay strong

I'm soo sorry. Now I'll leave none if this your fault. Sorry I was you before you just rang true.

How do you know what the OM said? Either he was physically present during their conversation or you have an exceptional VAR that picks up the other side of the phone conversation!

She spilled a frosty on her phone and the head speaker doesn't work, so she has to use speaker phone to talk anymore or her headphones. This time she was using speaker

I'm really sorry IU.

As you can see, there was a reason everyone was so suspicious. She wasn't acting the right way because she was still in contact with him. And she still didn't want to end the A. And they had a plan for her to Divorce you. Just a really bad betrayal. That's why she wasn't acting like she was all in. She wasn't all in.

Hang in there man. You will survive. And you'll get a better spouse because of this. Either she will become a better spouse, or you will find one.

good luck.

Toby he said basically,,, he gleaned from conversation. God leave the man alone he has done everything right and got shit on. Your comments are just wrong.

IUH

Stay strong and Please DO NOT change your mind . She has been in contact with him the whole time .

You do not need to waste any money on MC. She is still in this affair by her own admission .

Let him have her . She can be with a bankrupt POS from another country.

Your meeting tomorrow should be with your attorney and don't let the shrinks office talk you into wasting your time

Keep posting. There are a lot of people who care and you will get through this.

She did you a favor by being so deceitful and going to MC would not have changed what she is doing.

So true. She's a cancer cut it out. But totally understand your feeling did I ever really know her. STOP cut her out

So as many suspected, she was still in the A with this POS the whole time...and lying her ass off the entire time about it straight to your face.

And yet, all you have on the extent of what happened in Mexico, how long they have really been in contact, and if you truly just happened to catch the first post-Mexico tryst in the planning stages and they had not seen each other since, is her obviously useless word.

If she has been lying about no contact to your face for several weeks now, what do you think the chances she has told you the real extent of this are?

IMO opinion, no one is this wrapped up in an A (and apparently on BOTH sides)and planning their D with the POS over a short make-out session over a weekend on vacation,

I think you have been gaslighted the entire time and the situation has been hopeless for you since you first caught it.

Personally, I think the only reason she is even still there and discussing MC at all is she is deathly afraid of the exposure of the A to friends and family...she wants to make it look like she tried and the D had nothing to do with an A.

I know you think you confirmed the basic outlines of what happened in Mexico and the extent of the A from intercepted communications with her friend, but if she is afraid of people knowing what she has been doing, she is undoubtedly gaslighting them as well.

Follow through on your plans and blow this A up by exposing it to everyone and filing for D.

I think the true extent of the A will come out after when friends and family start to confront her on what the hell she has been doing.

What do you do now? Two things. You see your lawyer to move D along. And you detach via 180. She's a liar or too crazy to deal with or both. You tried. She couldn't give up fantasyland for your M. Let her go. No discussions with her about anything except D issues. You can't have a rational discussion with a chronic liar.

Dyokemn probably has it right. Th MC was essentially window dressing to cover to friends and family that she tried "everything" to save the M.

It no longer matters how deep the involvement in the A was so don't waste time on a moot point. You tried your best but we're dealing with a liar. Nothing you could do with that bad hand being dealt to you.

Stick around. Check out the D section.

Dup post deleted

[This message edited by Schadenfreude at 6:26 AM, June 18th (Wednesday)]

(((IUH)))

I really know how you feel right now. I am so sorry.

Many of us sensed she was in the A all along.

Please do not believe one word that comes out of her mouth now. She is desperate because she is losing her comfortable home base, & can no longer eat cake.

Yes, go to the attorney today, blow it up----tell all family members & friends.

And I also want to add, that today you should definitely insist that she move out of your house today.

I know that you have been hesitant to do that, feeling like you would be pushing her into POSOM's arms, but she is already there.

Trust me, it will help. You will be able to think more clearly once she is not under the same roof.

IMO opinion, no one is this wrapped up in an A (and apparently on BOTH sides)and planning their D with the POS over a short make-out session over a weekend on vacation,

Sorry to hear this recent development.

I do agree though, that there is something more you don't know about or this is the strangest WW and the strangest affair I have ever seen on here.

I have never seen a WW act this way over a kiss and telephone talking.

I have never seen a WW actually say she is not ready to end the affair. An affair where there is no personal contact and only occasional talking on the phone.

I have never seen a WW actually choose D over making a stupid phone call.

And the guy she is choosing does not sound overly stable and the fact he is ending the affair because she wont leave her husband. Usually affairs are just that, in the dark playing around. And it is rather unusual for the OM to say he is ending the affair just because the wife will not leave her husband. I think that is odd as hell.

You need to do what you need to do now, she has pretty much given you no choice other than D. She has had a bunch of opportunities to end this nonsense.

I still do not get the back and forth with her. Especially the very nice text when you were camping. And the sexy text last week.

Those combined with her refusing to end the A last night are incredibly confusing.

Is she bipolar. She acts like two different people when you look at her texts to you and then her refusal to even end the A.

This is going to end badly for your wife. Choosing you for this OM, with a kid already, and several gf's hanging around. Very odd choice.