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This one was a phone call with a helicopter parent of the most uptight variety.

She started off the conversation by letting me know she was not impressed with the college and how they were handling her son's application.

(Way to ingratiate yourself to the human being who has actually called you back promptly after leaving your message on the impossibly automated phone tree.)

Turns out the application had been submitted weeks ago sans sealed transcript, which submission is the pivotal event that has to happen to get someone evaluated and into the system in the first place, and which submission is clearly spelled out on the program's web page which she didn't care to follow my instructions to actually look at.

So because the transcript had yet to be delivered, the son missed the deadline for 2014 intake and now has to wait until 2015.

WHICH IS CLEARLY MY FAULT.

So she is going off about how unimpressed she is and how she's gotten nothing but the runaround and now I can't tell her if he can get in with his marks because she doesn't know what his marks are and the transcript is sealed so she can't open it to look, and she kept interrupting to say "let me finish", which didn't let me provide the information the student needed, and it was getting kind of annoying at the end of my day on the Friday before a long weekend, so I said "Is there any reason why we can't speak to the student directly, is he out of town or something?"

We try to feel them out at this point to see if there is a learning disability issue that needs to be addressed, but protocol requires that we never ask that question directly. In any case there was no answer from her that was remotely helpful...

She decided to take THAT very personally for some reason and started going off on me about excuse me, do you even have kids?? why would you even ask that question?? blah blah blah vent vent vent

I mean, the woman was incensed.

So I tried to explain that we deal with 22-year-olds pretty much every day and most of them are OK with dealing directly with the details required for college enrolment, but she just decided to hang up at that point.

She had given me her email address to send info for him, so I sent the appropriate stuff that OUR department can help him with if required, and made a point of just addressing him by name on it and leaving her out of it completely...

I expect there will be blowback next week but fuck me running, is she going to do his homework for him if and when he finally does get into the program?

Some folks need to learn to just let go...

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:18 PM, May 17th (Saturday)]

Helicopter parents. Ugh! (Shivers.) Do they realize they are not doing their children any favours by not letting them grow up and fight their own battles? A 22-year-old of my era would not even be consulting his parents abo0ut any of this. I guess if parents pay the bills, they expect the input? Strange.

I'm sorry she was so rude to you.

I'm giggling because I am not a helicopter parent but I've had to call DD3(21) university financial aid dept on her behalf.

Me: hi I'd like to check on DDs loan disbursement.

University: you need your dd to give you delegated access. I can't speak specifically in regards to your dd but loans will be disbursed the second week in May.

When her loans didn't disburse. She gave me delegated access and I called again.

The ONLY reason I'm calling - she's away on a study abroad program and the international fees on her phone are expensive. The only thing I pay for is her phone, the hold time is usually 10-25 minutes.

My kids friends are amazed my kids know sooo much about day to day grow up stuff!

Sheesh.

That poor kid! I don't understand why parents do everything for their kids and don't allow them to grow up.

I have 3 in college (or thru it at this point) and the only time I called for one of them was when there was a question about my financial status to help them with their FAFSA. Otherwise, they took care of everything (sometimes they did need to ask me or their dad some questions, no problem!)

Of course, they are mature and doing a great job managing life on their own, because I let them. Her son is going to be attached to her hip for life if she doesn't back off a bit (but you know, maybe that is what she wants. I know a couple of guys with HUGE mommy issues that can't cut the umbilical cord, but that is usually because the mother won't let them or push them to do it.)

I have new respect for what the schools go thru with working with parents, but I'll tell you, I only thought this level of hovering happened at the elementary level....

Oooh you know he will be a prize to marry.

ICK.

Learn how to take care of yourself.

Geezo.

I was trying to ask her if he was overseas or something, quite often the kid is off in Bolivia or somewhere doing summer volunteering, and I've talked to lots of parents on their behalf.

They are usually really nice and we get to chatting about their offspring's accomplishments, I like to hear what people are up to, and parents love it when you flatter them about what a good job they've done.

This one was just plain rude and obnoxious... In hindsight I could have asked her to get him to put the bong down long enough to pick up the phone, but that would have been a bit flippant.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:46 PM, May 21st (Wednesday)]

but fuck me running, is she going to do his homework for him if and when he finally does get into the program?

anyone want to place bets? Put me down for "yes" on this one.

Um, are you kidding me? 22? Sounds like the kid doesn't even want to go to school... mommy wants him to...

This one was just plain rude and obnoxious... In hindsight I could have asked her to get him to put the bong down long enough to pick up the phone, but that would have been a bit flippant.

seriously. mommy was that angry on the phone... something else is going on. (ie, Billy doesn't want to go to college and is fighting her tooth and nail)

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 12:48 PM, May 23rd (Friday)]

Well she had no idea she was talking to a graduate of SI University who is well versed in red flag behaviours.

Pretty obvious there are loooooots of issues there...

graduate of SI University

Love it!