SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thank you. I feel really odd. I am meeting with my distance learning students and carrying on as normal in some ways....then packing when I have a chance....talking to my sister or to her friends or office to update them...

and then now and then it hits me that I have probably lost my brother-in-law, and what a dear sweet loving man he was. And so smart. A lovely big-hearted clever Asperger's dude.

I spoke to his cardiologist for my sister and he may be able to talk to the russian doctor tomorrow. It will be 1am his time, but if my sister can get the russian doc he will take her call. He said the evac to CA is still a possibility, but we have to take it one day at a time.

In the center of all this I feel deep inside a peace...but there is a lot of debris, details and strong emotions swirling around.

Tell your loved ones that you love them.

Positive thoughts and strength for your BIL and Sister IL. ((Hugs))

BIL off sedation now. Still unconscious and on breathing support.

Russian docs say it may be a week before safe for BIL to medevac.

Neurologist will check him in half an hour.

This is so hard on my sister. Strangers are being nice to here. There is grace in that.

I wish she had a friend or me right there.

Hard to sleep. Woke up at 4:45 with a call from my sis.

Emotions are all over. Calm and together to lots of crying and sadness. I am sure it is 100x worse for my sister.

Why is Moscow so far away with hard to get visas?

[This message edited by InnerLight at 7:40 AM, June 12th (Thursday)]

I don't have any advice or sage words IL, just (((BIL, sister and InnerLight))).

I'm so sorry for your pain.

How truly terrifying for your sister and BIL.

Sending prayers to them, and you, IL.

((((IL & Family)))) Sending positive thoughts your way.......

I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for your BIL and sister. (((hugs)))

I am very much appreciating the kindness of strangers. Many people being good to my sister as she navigates this maze in a foreign language in a huge strange city.

I am starting to get used to my new normal of not knowing what will happen from day to day. Of waking up pre-dawn and trying to help my sister from afar.

What a strange time. Appreciating all the SI hugs being sent our way.

(((((SI folks))))))

After 12 hours of not regaining. Consciousness the doctors have re induced coma.

Sorry double post

[This message edited by InnerLight at 6:04 AM, June 13th (Friday)]

Inner - That is somewhat normal. If he has brain injury from not having enough oxygen, then there is also some swelling, just like after you exercise super hard, and you are sore, and tight, that is swelling.

Giving him support, while his brain doesn't have to do any real work and allow it to heal, and decrease it's swelling can really help. I know it's got to be totally overwhelming and nerve wracking for your sister, and you.

Sending mojo, prayers, and healing thoughts.

((((IL, sis, BIL)))) You have all been in my thoughts non-stop.

Just talked to my sister and she said the first ambulance that picked up my BIL when he was in distress was not completely equipped and didn't have oxygen. They made him lie down and he couldn't breathe and he turned purple. Then they took my sister away and that amublance waited for a better ambulance to come...took maybe 40 minutes to arrive. This happened Monday morning our time.

They diagnosed a hemorrhagic stroke. His left eye is popping out a bit. He is in a deep coma. They gave the number 63%, and they want to see 75% I think that meant 75% before transport is possible, tho not quite sure what these percentages mean.

He is on dopamine to maintain blood pressure which is now normal. All the heart failure condition issues are OK. On Sunday they will have a team discussion on his ability to withstand a medivac.

My sister has to move again since visa expires she can't stay in a hotel but hospital will let her stay overnight there, different one than my BIL is in.

He has a nice room with a big window and he is getting good care.

Thanks for all the thoughts and good wishes.

Please help me visualize him coming home with my sister soon. Flying safely to his local hospital in CA.

Feeling waves of anxiety and then I can deal. OK, time to get my own work in order again. I feel

The situation does not look good. Medical team involved with evac reviewed records and said they had not seen such a difficult case. It's Day 9 and he is no longer on the drugs but still in a coma. Chest tube detached yesterday and team says tube must be detached for 10 days before they will fly him.

We are discussing how to know when to pull the plug. American doctor says to make those decisions form here. Bring him home first.

It could be weeks before he is ready to come home. My sister is in limbo in this difficult situation. I am still working on visa to go be with her in case I have to go.

((((((InnerLight))))))

so all of the problems are because he was forced to lay down???

((((((Inner Light and family)))))

I am so sorry. I know you wish you could be at your sister's side but I also know that she feels your heart with her, even with the distance.

so all of the problems are because he was forced to lay down???

In a way yes. It made it so he couldn't breath because of the fluid due to heart failure. Then the ambulance was not equipped with oxygen. There was a language barrier and my sister and the captain of the cruise ship were saying can't you see he needs oxygen, and that he has to sit up, but they were set up trying to find a vein to give him morphine. He did not need morphine.

Then they had to wait for 45 minutes while a second ambulance that was equipped with oxygen got there through moscow traffic. Then they went another 45 minutes before he got to the hospital. I think when he got to the hospital he was having seizures so they put him in a coma.

So yes, unskilled treatment in an ill-equipped ambulance. The heart failure and fluid issue would not have killed him if he could have gotten to the hospital unabused where they would have drained the fluid.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 3:48 PM, June 18th (Wednesday)]

(((Innerlight & family)))

The russian director of the hospital spoke to my sister about end of life issues. He has an advanced directive, but it doesn't apply in Russia where they don't unplug patients per an advanced directive apparently.

It is not yet totally hopeless for my dear brother in law. He is about the same, in a coma, eyes not responding to light, no reflexes, but also no more pneumonia either.

Still working on getting air ambulance to bring him home. It has to stop 5x to get all the way to CA. These are small planes.

I think his care is competent there, as the American doctor is saying the Russian docs are doing all the right things.

So much ambiguity and uncertainty.

((IL))

I've been thinking about you all week for some reason.

How is your sister holding up? I will keep sending out all the good thoughts and mojo I can.