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General :
I put my wedding ring back on

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 4:51 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

This is sort of an update regarding the fact that my WH finally agreed to Imago therapy.

He has agreed to different therapies before – some he has followed through with, and some he has not. I have had my wedding ring in my bedside table for several months now. I don't know if he has noticed. I did not do it to get a reaction out of him. I did it because there was not one fiber in my being that felt married in any way.

I have been spending every other night away from my home due to caring for elderly parents. Today he let me know that he had made the appointment for the Imago therapy.

So, last night when I returned home, I put my wedding ring back on. I understand that there are no guarantees with this therapy – but I felt that I needed to validate for myself his efforts to make the appointment. (I had refused to make the appointment myself – I have always made other appointments, and he has gone to them "half assed". I told him that he would need to be "all in" and actually make the appointment himself if we were going to go.)

I don't take my ring off and put it on like a revolving door. I just felt totally hypocritical to wear it. Now, not only do I need to recognize the effort it took for him to make the appointment – he hates the very thought therapy – but having it on my finger seems to motivate me to try even harder to do my part to heal.

So, I guess I'm just thinking out loud. Wish us luck, and thanks for listening.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 6882742
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Exhausted in OH ( member #34340) posted at 6:45 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

I think it's great progress. I hope he sticks with the therapy, and I hope you move forward in your own healing as well.

BS 42(now 47), WH now 48
Married 15 (now 20!), together 24, 3 great kids - 17, 15,12
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me online EA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

posts: 459   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6882925
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deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 8:00 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

I am excited for you. Moving forward one step at a time. Best wishes!!

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3352   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6883056
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

Good luck to you. ((((WhatsRight)))

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6883165
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