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Autumn22 ( member #41810) posted at 1:58 AM on Friday, August 8th, 2014
A good CSAT is worth their weight in gold (although I'm still waiting to find one IRL).
A bad CSAT will make your life with an SA even more hellish than you already thought possible.
This one doesn't sound so good...
Me: BW 48
Him: SA 44, multiple EAs, porn addiction, entered "recovery" in 2013 - no remorse, no empathy.
Married in 2000, divorcing
risingfromashes (original poster member #3903) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, August 8th, 2014
If this therapist is taking your X's statements as absolute reality, then she is about as useful/helpful a therapist as underwear in a snow storm.
Yes.
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 4:05 AM on Friday, August 8th, 2014
A "good" CSAT Includes regular polygraph screenings in their procedures, IMHO. As to the details, a discussion of compulsive behaviors, akin to gambling, shopping, other "behavior" addictions can be used to compare. I think older kids have a clear vision, unfortunately, of what it may be like to have an obsession with internet porn, and may have friends and acquaintances who spend more time than is healthy engaging in it's viewing.
Knowing about my family history of alcoholism didn't stop my kid from becoming an alcoholic. But the continuing attitude that porn, strip clubs, and infidelity is the norm rather than something to avoid encouraged me to make sure my kids knew the score. They were adult young men at disclosure. Even with no details I'm sure they filled in the blanks. And later,the three of us discussed the other pieces of the puzzle, why did I stay, what would happen next, etc. It worked for us.
Each family needs to do what is best for them. And undoubtedly, it is the sober parent that is the best judge of that path.
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
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