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Thank you everyone for your kind words. It really means a lot to be able to share this, even if we don't know each other. I know my friends would be there for me, but as far as they all thought, I was done having children. I never wanted people to think it was an "accident", nor did we want to hear "it was meant to be" if we miscarried. I feel like I'd rather just avoid the comments and allow the memory to be untainted, and treasured for the time we had it.

As for telling my children..:.they are wonderful, but it was very hard on them, the last miscarriage I had (almost 3 years ago). They saw my pain before, and I saw more pain in them because they were hurting for me. So I just want to spare them this again.

As for him, I'm not sure if he can do anything right at the moment. He's trying, to a point. But I'm mad and hurt over so much of what he's done. I think it's impossible to find comfort from a person who's hurt you like that.

Just a lousy week

(((((TrulySad)))))

I am so sorry. Sending you hugs and strength.

(((TrulySad)))

My heart goes out to you. Please know that we are all here for you. When you need to vent or reach out, reach out to us!

So sorry...

I've been there, it's terrible.

I remember they gave me some pamphlets about a support group and phone number for women who had miscarriages. You might ask your doctor is there is anything like that.

I had one almost 24 years ago.

I wasn't very far along, didn't take a test or anything and WS kept telling me I wasn't pregnant and you know I wasn't because he said so

I remember that night, it was heartbreaking, painful and traumatic.

My sister was with me, she knew almost immediately, I didn't have to say anything.

We were at a wedding reception, I was a bridesmaid, WS was having such a grand time that when my sister went to get him to tell him we had to leave he had no clue what had just happened.

I'm sorry TS, it's horrible.

Truly Sad, my heart goes out to you. I have lost more babies than I care to count, miscarriages, twins, and a stillborn. D and C's, natural miscarriages, emergency procedures. You name it, it probably has happened to me. Pregnancy was not my strong point for sure.

Against the advice of others here, I found telling other people about my miscarriages often made it worse. They simply did not understand and said very hurtful things, unintentionally. People basically cannot understand you have lost a child, a child you love has died. Most people just don't get that, and say trite things they would never say to somebody whose child died who had been born. If I were you, I would speak to women who have experienced more than one miscarriage. I joined support groups which were helpful. They met in the local hospital, and even arranged ceremonies for the lost ones in the hospital chapel. They had wreaths in the chapel where you would write down the name and what ever you wanted, put it on the wreath. You could then go into the chapel whenever you wanted, sit there, remember your baby, see the wreath, a tangible reminder of your babies existence in this world. I used to go in that chapel and just weep my guts out. It was the one place where I felt my babies' lives were recognized and mattered.

There are also newsletters out there where you can commemorate your baby.

It is still hard for me today to talk about all I went through. It was too much. Way too much. But I had a supportive husband. Hard to imagine what it is like for you, to go through THAT and a miscarriage. Oh my God, just the thought is too much for me.

Remember your little baby. Do all you need to do to remember and honor this life that lived inside you.

(((((((((Trulysad))))))))))

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.

I've had a couple of miscarriages, a full term stillbirth, and surviving children. I joined a group called SHARE, they were very helpful in helping me find ways to honor my angel babies.

More hugs,

K

TrulySad,

I'm so sorry you are going through this and understand why you might not want to share this with people in real life but first, if you aren't already, please get into IC. You need it at a time like this. And please check out the many wonderful pregnancy loss communities there are online. You will find a community that really 'gets it' in terms of where you are coming from.

My thoughts are with you.

-D

I'm so very, very sorry. I'm a member of the multiple miscarriage club too and I hate that it has so many members.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your baby was real and loved during its time with you. ((Hugs))

Trulysad, I'm so very sorry. Do you have a sister or close friend you can lean on. at WS for not being the man you need right now.

Dear TS

I am very sorry for the loss of your little baby. This has happened to me as well.

I can understand not wanting to see the pain of your children again. My elder daughter was 8 when she knew about our miscarriage and she suffered such a deep sense of loss.

When we said goodbye to our baby in 2012 four months after D-day we told no one. At the time I couldn't even bring that to SI.I certainly couldn't tell my children.

The emotional and physical drain is dreadful. Could your H at least take a more lead role with your other children for the next few days? Could that give you a bit more space?

I understand not being able to seek comfort from your H. In 2012 I couldn't even really look at mine without breaking down into tears. I felt very angry at him.

I am so sorry you going through this. Lean on us here.

MegM

I am so sorry honey.

I had a miscarriage many years ago. Even after 25 years I still feel the loss.

HUGS

Laura

I am so sorry

I am so very sorry for your loss and am praying for you and the baby.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I agree with the others regarding your need for support.

Please reconsider reaching out to someone in your life, or online.

My own miscarriage was 30 years ago and I still cry at the memory.

Your baby was real and so is your pain and loss.

((TrulySad))

Lovedmesomehim

I am so sorry. (hugs)

I'm glad that we're here for you to reach out to. So many of us know this particular pain as well ... it's just gut wrenching. ((((hugs))))

(((TrulySad)))

You all are on my prayer list. Peace be with you.

God is with us all.

(((Hugs)))

I'm sorry - I hope you can find someone to share this with who will just listen and understand.

Thank you again for all of your support and kind words. I'm so sorry for all of you who have suffered a miscarriage(s). And thank you for sharing your story with me. It truly breaks my heart.

For this short time we were expecting our baby together (he doesn't have any children, but I do), it was sweet and exciting and put so much into perspective. It felt like all we'd been doing is dealing with what he's done that brought us here to SI. When we found out I was pregnant, I think it snapped us both semi out of this perceptual state of dealing with the pile of trouble and pain he caused. We always got along wonderfully. We never stopped wanting each other. He just never came completely came clean until about a month before I found out I was pregnant.

So when we found out I was pregnant, it was shock, then worry, but soon it became cautiously excited. And it really did make us realize how much we wanted to be together. For me, because of all his TT, up until the pregnancy, my days seemed to be directed by his horrible actions. And I believe for him, he was directed to do the right thing, without really digging into it deep. Things seemed to shift, once we learned of the pregnancy. His language and the things he said, how he said them, changed. And I think because of what I was seeing in him, it gave me some hope. Not about the pregnancy, but about us.

Anyway, when that worry of a miscarriage became a reality, it was crushing. I think I was mad at him because I was connecting his changing to the baby, and now that the baby has passed away, I think I'm expecting to see him revert back to his old ways. I suppose only time will tell.

The doctor is still checking my HCG levels, because unlike what you think happens, miscarriages don't always happen in an instant. I'm nine days into this, and it's getting exhausting. The only positive (although I'd rather be experiencing them and still pregnant)is that I am no longer feeling sick or tired.

Thank you all for recommending I join an online group that deals with miscarriage. I never did this in the past, and I feel my old ways creeping in. I compartmentalize everything painful. I actually can see myself putting it in a box and only bringing that box out when I'm alone and can deal with it for that moment. He is getting better. He's been helping out more at home, but I sometimes wonder where his brain is with the idiot comments he makes. I can almost see him freeze when he hears what just came out of his mouth.

I'm sorry this has gone on forever. I wanted to post an update and tell you ALL how much your time and words have meant to me. It isn't just the hormone kicking in when I say I've read them with tears in my eyes. I'm so thankful for all the joys we have in life. I just wish the pain we suffered came from a stubbed toe or something, rather than loss.

((((Hugs to all here))))