SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

(((JanaGreen)))

Im so sorry.

((Hugs)) DI. I wish we could have a margarita & bitch session!

The other day a friend at work was so excited. She said "My sister is pregnant! And she's 41!!" On the outside I was smiling and nodding, on the inside I was screaming. SMH.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:20 PM, August 24th (Sunday)]

HCG is 1.94, progesterone is at 5 even with prometrium. But on the bright side she scheduled me to come in Wednesday (as in, two days from now) to get a game plan, so that's very good.

Did they increase your medication on that? Are you doing the suppositories or oral?

Sorry, I wasn't clear. My HCG fell. There is no point in continuing the progesterone at this point, it's a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage. It's very common. I'm glad if it had to happen that it happened early.

My H basically said, "Let's try two more times and then look into adoption." Thanks just what I needed dear.

My H basically said, "Let's try two more times and then look into adoption."

Well he has the heart and sensitivity of a cinder block. Some people. Ugh.

((((Jana))))

Yeah . . . In his defense there is literally nothing he can say that's right - I'm so hostile & prickly right now. I can't accept comforting at all. There's nothing that will make me feel better other than either a viable pregnancy or the sure knowledge that I'll never achieve one. If I knew for sure I think I could be at peace.

I'm not opposed to adoption & that may be our move eventually - I just don't want to talk about it yet.

(((JanaGreen)))

(((Jana)))

This whole thing is one of the few areas that really test my faith. Because I just don't understand. I don't understand how women who don't give a shit and don't take care of their children can get pg just standing next to a man, and those who are or would be wonderful mothers and want desperately to have a child...can't.

My story blows my mind when I think about it. My first sexual experience was a rape which resulted in pregnancy. That's the baby I gave up for adoption. When I M my 1st H (the asshole), I went off the pill and was pg the next month, then miscarried. I had one period, and then got pg with ds22.

So when JM and I got M, we never used any birth control at all. After a year of TTC, I was convinced the problem had to be JM. I mean, I was proven fertile. I mean, F.E.R.T.I.L.E. Imagine my surprise to find out that his swimmers were great but I had 2 different problems. Ds15 was conceived on our last attempt with Clomid.

God/karma/the universe still had one hilarious joke for me. I got pg when ds15 was 8 months old. I was shocked and overwhelmed. Just about the time I got used to the idea and excited, I miscarried again.

I just do not understand this stuff.

(((JanaGreen))) and (((HFSSC)))

Infertility sucks. It really sucks when people tell my DD 27 (she is mommy to my miracle IVF granddaughter 2.5 years after many miscarriages and the loss of an ovary and both of her fallopian tubes) that she should be glad she got one child, why push for another?

I'm so very sorry, Jana...I do understand your pain and know there are no words to make it better. I care, and I will keep praying that you will have your rainbow baby.

Hugs...

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 2:05 PM, August 26th (Tuesday)]

she should be glad she got one child, why push for another?

Those people need to be punched right in the damn face. Especially since at least some of them probably have more than one child. I hope your daughter is able to have as many children as she wants, lala.

HFSSC, you've been through a lot, lady. ((HUGS))

Well, I have to say, if I'm going to miscarry, a chemical pregnancy is the way to go. I got a positive test last Wednesday and I'm already starting to bleed. This is definitely preferable to finding out at my 12-week appointment or a dramatic trip to the emergency room followed by multiple doses of misoprostol. That said, it still sucks. But at least it was quick and not physically taxing.

(((Jana))))

I hate that you have to go through this, and that anyone who can provide for, and be loving parents to a child have to go through it.

It's painful, and I just don't get it.

I actually thought of you the other day. Some Methmom was wandering through walmart the other day, with her toddler, who was filthy, and beautiful, getting angry at him because he could move fast enough for her tweeker ass.

I wanted to snatch him up, and say guess what I got for you Jana......

Anyway.... There are stories of hope, and success, and paths less traveled. Keep your chin up darling. Sending fertile happy thoughts your way, that this new Dr can get you where you want to be.

(((and strength))))

I actually thought of you the other day. Some Methmom was wandering through walmart the other day, with her toddler, who was filthy, and beautiful, getting angry at him because he could move fast enough for her tweeker ass.

This would be exactly the reason that my H and I support a local charity that fights child abuse. That poor kid. The deck really is stacked against him, huh?

tushnurse, that's the kind of thing that made me leave working in L&D. I remember leaving the room of a lovely couple, in vitro pregnancy that ended in a stillbirth and having to listen to a 20 year old pregnant with her 4th baby in 3 years tell me "Don't need to gimme that perscription. I ain't gonna take them pills. All my other babies was premature and they are fine."

crazy making.

It really sucks when people tell my DD 27 (she is mommy to my miracle IVF granddaughter 2.5 years after many miscarriages and the loss of an ovary and both of her fallopian tubes) that she should be glad she got one child

I am sorry - I can be that person at times. This will be my reminder to be a little more sensitive to ALL women who would like to have a child, whether they have none or 10...

I am pretty sure I have fertility issues. I never really followed up on it, since my ex was never ready to start a family. But when I was younger and stupider, we did not use any sort of contraception for a long time and there was not so much as even a scare that happened during that time, and we were having sex regularly. Clearly it was not him - he has a child now.

I think I am just too scared to know for sure at this point; it would just be soul crushing.

Hugs to you, Jana. So sorry this has been a rough road for you.

HFSSC, my sister is a L&D nurse and she tells me the most infuriating stories.

Whalers there is so much that can be done now for fertility issues. Don't feel like it's hopeless.

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 9:47 PM, August 26th (Tuesday)]

(((Jana))) Hugs, you know I am thinking about you.

Thanks TG

Well, the RE told me that he talked to the doctor at the high risk clinic that I went to back in June. At the time he and the genetic counselor told us (my H and me) that there was no reason to karyotype us as there were two different trisomies in my first and second losses. The RE asked the HR doctor is it was maybe possible that we BOTH had chromosomal abnormalities - he said it was possible - not likely, but possible. So he went ahead and drew three vials of blood - they're going to do karyotyping and also test my TSH and T4. My H wasn't with me today (he's laid up with a sinus infection) so he said let's just wait for my results and go from there as far as testing him. It'll take three weeks to get the results back and he advised that I hold off on TTC this month.

I cannot even tell you the relief I felt at being told to hold off. I've felt a lot of pressure given that I'm just that much older every month, and the market's gone to shit in the industry I work in, so my job (and hence my insurance coverage) is not a guaranteed thing. But I've been told by a medical professional to hold off, so I needn't pee on any ovulation predictor kits, I don't have to worry about when I'll be home and when my H will be home or if he'll be out of town or if I'll have to work late when I'm fertile, etc. etc. etc. The myth that TTC is just all fun sexy time is a damn fucking lie after about the second month. And I will definitely get to ride the roller coasters when we go to Orlando. Wheee!

Here's hoping my thyroid is normal. I don't even know what to think about the karyotype. On the one hand I almost want there to be some sort of reason so we can work on fixing it - but on the other hand, I think a genetic issue would be very bad.

thanks for the update, Jana

have a fun time in Orlando

Big hugs to you

Jana,

Ask them to test your T3 as well as T4 and TSH-- it's unusual, but absolutely possible for the latter two to appear normal while the T3 is low.

((hugs and fingers crossed))