SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Ive just found an email from Microsoft in WS gmail, a no-reply address, providing the verification code for a new account in Hotmail.

I clicked thru on the link and sure enough, it has gone to the normal Microsoft security page which asks to put in the full hotmail account and use security code to confirm new password

I was shaking as I called WS from overseas -- he denies vehemently that he has opened a Hotmail account.

COMPUTER WIZ's OUT THERE:

are there *any* scams now going on that would be sending emails to random people that are phishing for new Hotmail accts? Again, the link goes directly to a normal looking Microsoft security page.

Am away from home so cannot get to WS computer history.

The only scam I'm aware of is this one - http://ilookbothways.com/spot-the-spam/verify-your-hotmail-account/

If it looks something like what is described on MS's site (http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/two-step-verification-faq) it should be legitimate. Couple that with your recently Dday, the fact that you are overseas and it doesn't look good.

Crushed7

thanks... if it was phishing, I'd expect that it would be asking for some personal info up front...

this one goes to a Verified address and you have to put in the full account name, and that account name is hidden in the original email, so WTF?

I can't take this anymore.... I see on scam sites that there is something like this, but logic says that if it is phishing then you'd have to know the full account name to click thru... my brain is just freezing up

Yes he probably provided his gmail account as his alternate email address to receive his verification code. His hotmail account uses a two step verification of password and verification code to sign in. Don't trust what he says IMO.

You all know what this is like, hunh? Hearing the strident denial, wanting so badly on one hand to believe and on the other hand to just stop being fooled...

WS threw out a possibility, that "someone else" had created this account and used his gmail email to set him up... or that OW had done this to try and get in touch. So, I may be thick about computing, but why would someone set up an email that WS didnt know the full account name of, or if OW setting it up , WTF would she go about it that way because she'd still have to be in touch to tell WS what the account name was... can you hear my wheels spinning in the mud?

Unfortunately, the easiest answer is probably the correct one - your WS has a secret email account that you aren't aware of.

WS threw out a possibility, that "someone else" had created this account and used his gmail email to set him up... or that OW had done this to try and get in touch.

Both don't make much sense. The verification email you saw isn't sent on creation of an account as he claims in the first scenario (but when adjusting settings on the account). If the OW had done it, this certainly wouldn't be the way to communicate it with him. The most likely reason is it is his account. He simply thinks that he can get away with denying it.

Here is a description of how the Hotmail system works for you so you can see if all the dots connect based on what you've found.

Signing up for a new Microsoft account gives you the choice of an email address with either @outlook.com or @hotmail.com. It doesn't automatically send out an email -- changing some of the settings does that. The email that is sent is pretty simple -- there is no official logo and it is delivered from acccount-security-noply@account.microsoft.com -- and reads exactly like this (obviously the account name and code will be different):

Microsoft account

Security code

Thanks for helping us verify the Microsoft account ab*****@hotmail.com.

Here is your code: 1234567

This is a verification code, not a password. If you didn't request this code, someone else may know the password for ab*****@hotmail.com and have access to that account. Click here to change your password.

Thanks,

The Microsoft account team

If you click on "Click here to change your password", you should be taken to https://account.live.com/pw

If something doesn't match -- the format of the email, the length of the verification code and especially the site to which you are directed -- it might be a phishing scam trying to gain access to people's email accounts. If everything does match, your WS is almost certainly lying to you.

[This message edited by Crushed7 at 7:05 AM, September 16th (Tuesday)]

Sounds real, but an easy way to compare is make a hotmail account yourself and then reset the password so it sends an email and you can see whether or not it looks the same.

Crushed7

That is exactly the format of the verification email I found ...

You say this sort of email is sent out when security settings are changed -- specifically, it is not an email to start up a new account?

Then it would be him messing around with another email account that he had already....

During the AP WS had created a fake FB page so that the OW could show off her Boyfriends postings-- of course WS didn't put his picture on it, they just exchanged endearments over it. Assholes.

Anyway, when I wanted WS to take down the fake FB account so that it wouldn't be some kind of Memorial to their fecked up affair, he claimed that he didn't remember what email account he had opened it under... Also, OW had info for that fake FB account... There were only three posts that I could see ( as a no friend of the fake FBer) and one was the announcement that fake FB guy was in a relationship ( with the anniversary day given around the day they started their PA)

The settings on the fake FB account were such that it did not show friends to the Public. So, I cannot see if fake FB guy has any friends... Or who they are

I made him unfriend his fake account; if he supposedly had no way of accessing it, then I thought fine, that one is over... Except if OW still has control of FB account, then they could hook up friends wise again, and just use private msgs on fake FB guys page to keep in contact....

I may be thick, but I'm not stupid... Or maybe I am with my heart...

Still going: good idea... And you also gave me another sneaky idea.....

LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!

You say this sort of email is sent out when security settings are changed -- specifically, it is not an email to start up a new account? Then it would be him messing around with another email account that he had already....

Whenever you change the settings. If you create a new account and immediately change them or if you have an existing one and change them. So it could be new or old. Based on what you've said so far, I'd bet on old.

he claimed that he didn't remember what email account he had opened it under

Either (1) BS or (2) how many secret email accounts does he have that he can't even remember them all? In either case, along with what you are finding about the Hotmail account, he seems to have a lot of digital tracks that he is hiding.

I get the urge to be a detective and find all of this stuff. I certainly did. However, at some point it is counterproductive and, ultimately, his job to show through consistent action that he is fully trustworthy and faithful to you after what he has done. Any little thing that demonstrates differently says that he doesn't care to be married.

Crushed7

Yeah... That's a true and realistic way to think about it all.

I'm just.... Breathless.

Can't you hit the link that says "I can't remember account name or password? It should send the info to the alt account that you found the notification under.

Feelthrownaway

Oh jeez, I didn't see that on the Microsoft page... I will have to wait until I have my lapt out which has WS acct on it, so I can get the email again and follow that THANKS

Feelthrownaway!!!

there is no "recover username" option -- just "I forgot my password" and one needs the full user name.

ALSO very weird -- there was another email to WS gmail from MIcrosoft indicating a second alteration of the hotmail account... and even WS isnt stupid enough to mess around with it while he is being grilled.

But also : in his frantic pleadings to be believed, he let slip that the OW had the account information for the Hotmail account --

I let it sink in for him, that he admitted there was a Hotmail account.

This is just too sad.

FYI, my ex was stupid enough to try to change his Facebook while I was grilling him about it.. I saw everything he was trying to do.

Sorry, but I think your WS *is* stupid enough to mess with it right now.. And I think he's been lying all day about it..

Hugs..

I say there are two choices:

1. End it with him since he's been so deceptive.

or

2. He gives you all the information to the account he now uses and you change the password and recovery information. You open him a new account and set up all recover account information for the new account. You give him the username and password and that's what he uses for email from now on. You retain the gmail account to do with as you wish. Any other accounts set up by him results in #1.

Tears of Love and ButterflyGirl

It's so mind blowing to see him doing this... For all the protests of innocence, this was the man who looked into my eyes on our wedding day, pledged love and devotion -- and all the time was having an affair

Wll act on advice of all his accts terminated and a new one created which I control, but with the Hotmail, its a stubborn case of he does not "remember" what username isARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!

[This message edited by Amazingyetlost at 8:54 PM, September 16th (Tuesday)]

He remembers - he's lying his ass off. You haven't even been married to him a year. I would dump his ass so fast he wouldn't see me for the dust cloud I left behind. Life is too short for this kind of drama.

He either fully remembers the account information for both the Hotmail and Facebook accounts OR he gave control to the OW. The end is the same - (1) he is lying/manipulating you and (2) is actively working to prevent you gaining access to where a massive amount of evidence exists.

It's so mind blowing to see him doing this

You're absolutely right. We are here for you as you go through this!

Its probly the account they used (still use?) To communicate. At a bare minimum he has failed to disclose this element of the affair to you, and its the OW messing around with it on her own.

More likely scenario is they are still using it together and active in the A, OR he is using it to do other adultrous activity and doesnt want OW to have access anymore (in ither words there is another OW in the picture now. If youre out of town, he could be trolling online, at CL, hookup or dating sites and wanting to use his secret email to.do so.

Either way, this is a huge lie on hiz part and would be an absolute dealbreaker, esp considering the newness of the M.

Also, you dont need your email address to delete a facebook. They dont ask for that when u de-activate (u might want to test that out for yorself).

Im disgusted by the FB aspect of their A. He created a fake FB for her to be publicly "in a R with"???