SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

When he accidentally gave me his PW and I read these 4 words:

"I like your smile".

He was trying to hook up on a forth coming trip to AZ and I finally knew WHO and WHAT he really was.

Rocked my world and cut me to the very core!

If I could be allowed one more?

Finding all my photos neatly tucked away in a freaking shoe box at the very bottom of his closet!

This is such a tough one and I'm so sorry to read all your stories. For me the thing that hurt the most is the fact that something fundamentally shifted in me. His affair took the highest level of joy away from me. We are trying to reconcile but I'm not sure if I will ever feel pure joy again....

This is from many, many, many years (decades) ago. I was raised in poverty in a family that by many was considered to be "low class". In reality my family was the original "poor but honest".

The "love of my life" (at that time) left me for an ex after professing love for me. But the part that hurt me the most was that he told me that her family had money and prestige and that was important to him.

I was so vulnerable place at that time. I was crushed and felt like crap. But I won - I went on to get a post graduate degree from the most prestigious university in the nation and to be very, very successful.

I became much more financially, professionally and internationally successful than OW or her family. My stupid ex missed out on a lot by settling for OW - I ended up being worth so much more than her. Not just financially - but because I am a better person overall. They divorced after a few years and he ended up alone.

The premeditated nature of his decision to repeatedly deceive me to get his rocks off with the teen prostitute he went to.

He took a day off from work and screwed her in our house.

Continuing the affairs after I found out, and manipulating me into believing he was trying to fix our marriage.

That he didn't have the decency to use protection when he cheated. That's the biggest issue for me and I'm really having a hard time moving on from that. He knew about the tragic end my cousin, his younger sister, & their mother met of dying from AIDS because my cousin's mother boyfriend was a cheating piece of shit that knowingly spread HIV/AIDS to her and other women. She was clueless about him being sick & cheating until it was too late and she unknowingly spread it to her son & unborn child. My damn husband knew about that but he still put me and our family at risk😤 for sickness & potential money being taken away from our kids to pay for bastard affair children.

All these are so heart wrenching its triggering me badly to read them.

For me, its what the whole LTA means to me- that he didn't give a shit or think about me or my feelings for a very long time....only himself and what he wanted-including lying his ass off-TT for a year....and possibly still is.

After D-day he admitted how much he loved her.

How can I pick just one. All the heartache?

Its probably the shame and humiliation that comes from knowing and having other people know of her (physical) affair. Or it could be that I know he became aware of details of our (inadequate) sex and some of my insecurities. Their sex life was anything inadequate and he was definitely not insecure. .