SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just noticed he is calling house phone too, she must have forgot to delete one on the caller id.

Going out with a bunch of coworkers tonight for drinks. They told me I need it. Told her the other day, just got accused of having a date. Its getting to the point that i dont want to look at her, is that wrong? I feel discusted bc of what was done. It seems everytime we speak lately it becomes an arguement. Any advice on making it more civil? I think everything out of her mouth is a lie now, cant help it.

Something doesn't add up. OM is divorced (according to your WW), your WW wants a divorce, but doesn't want to move in with OM? Why would that be? Wouldn't two star-crossed lovers want to be together ASAP? I'd bet that OM isn't divorced, and the ploy of wanting to stay in the house is because the OM is married and the OBS is clueless, just like you were.

Contact the OBS without telling your WW and blow this A up. Or help your WW pack her shit and drop it off at the OM's house. Or would that cause trouble in paradise?

The part about guessing that you are having a date is her projecting her behavior on you. A common response from waywards.

She is now saying they are only freinds, and saying she never said there was more than that. Im guessing if they were only freinds, she would have never hid it from me. She is saying they are not in a relationship. Everyday the story changes. Besides I have info that shows otherwise. Doesnt seem like she can keep up with her own lies.

Doesnt seem like she can keep up with her own lies.

Cheaters lie. It's what they do. The bad ones are easily caught by their own lies, like your WW.

The good ones lie to everybody, including themselves. Those are the hardest to catch.

She never use to be this way, that I can remember anyway. Hard to acceopt the person that I really knew isnt the same person in front of me anymore.

She is now saying they are only freinds, and saying she never said there was more than that. Im guessing if they were only freinds, she would have never hid it from me. She is saying they are not in a relationship. Everyday the story changes.

Liars confuse, liars are very very good at confusing someone.

She accuses you of having a date only to make herself feel about what she has done.

The fact she is saying that they are only friends is a smokescreen in my opinion. I think it is dangerous to trust anything she tells you at this time.

She could also be doing the backstroke because the affair is cooling.

Is she still saying she wants a divorce, even though they are just friends?

Yes, she says she still wants out. If the affair is dying down and she tries to back out of the divorce it would just prove that she did it. She is a stobbern person and if she is in the defensive now, she will never give in. Like I said she is not the person I knew, she is someone totally different now. Im not sure if he pulled the wool over her eyes or her true colors finally came out. Either way she was wrong for what she did.

Do the 180, nohope.

Read as much of "The Healing Library"(top left yellow box) as you can

Your kids need you.

NoHope: Sorry to see you experiencing this betrayal. You have not given us a lot of detail and I think you will get better more focused help if you were to elaborate on the following

WHO:

Do you know the name of POSOM?

Is he a co-worker?

How does your WW know him?

WHAT:

What proof do you have, have you found evidence in emails? Chat apps, phone records?

WHEN:

How long has this been going on?

She knows him, ex from 25 years ago

Emails amd pictures

4 months that i can find

comminucation between them of hrs of talk, facebook, text, email etc... still going on.

He even calls my home when im at work.

Sorry you're going through this.

She is totally disrespecting you and she thinks she has the upper hand in your relationship.

Don't let her choose when she wants to leave. Start hefty bagging her belongings and boot her out.

She will change her tune very quickly, I'm guessing.

Thank you for that info

So you know his name?

Can you confirm his marital status with your own enquiry?

So this is an EA and not a PA at this time?

Where is he located?

If he is at a distance, you need to work with a lawyer to restrict your kids travel

[This message edited by IndependantView at 11:44 AM, March 5th (Saturday)]

Yes, I know his name

From what I read, hes married with his own issues.

My wife said they are divorced, not sure if that is true. She said she knows bc they are friends and she is crazy. I like how she says his wife is the crazy one.

My old neighborhood, 1hr f 30min from where I live now.

You might be able to find out if he is really married by looking at county records. The last I knew marriage and divorce records are public records.

1) Inform OBS, do not inform your WS

2) See lawyer to ensure kids cannot not be removed from their home/school environment

Just looked online, nowhere to get info without paying for it.

The real cost of not finding out this information is more pain for you

Take control, find OBS contact details and inform her, do not inform your WW of this action

Went out for a few drinks with coworkers last night. Needed it, but feel old.