SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know I need to quit obsessing about XWS getting married and focus on me.

I know. But my anxiety is thru the roof. Maybe some hormonal stuff going on.

So if you have the time could you share your stories of either how that marriage crashed and burned or how you are so happy now you don't care? Ty

A few months away from my ex's wedding to OW and this has been weighing heavy on my mind as well. Things are going very well for me, my own love life is incredible, but I can't help but feel upset that a lot of the same people who celebrated our wedding will be attending the wedding to celebrate him marrying the woman who contributed to imploding my life and the life of my daughter.

I know we aren't supposed to post links but there is a site called emotional affair dot org and they have some really poignant articles that have helped me "When the other woman becomes the wife" and "when affair partners marry: 9 reasons why they might fair." Those two have been so helpful to me and they might be for you too.

My XWH did not marry his AP. That relationship crashed and burned 6 months post-D. But he was willing to have a vasectomy reversed that he had done 19 years earlier for her (she wanted children) - crazy!

He got married later to another woman - not the AP, and that wasn't really too tough - strange but not emotionally difficult for me. That marriage only lasted 1 year.

At this point, I wish he would find someone to settle down with so he could stop acting so pitiful. It is a burden on our grown sons. It would be so much easier for them if he had a stable relationship.

But I have moved on and really survived. You will get there too.

Sending strength and peace.

NL

ex-asshat and the (final) OW only lasted about six months after we broke up for good. He then went through a few other fiancées before finally remarrying. They've been married, oh, maybe five years, but lived together a couple before that. They are probably one of the most miserable married couples I've ever seen. Their relationship is full of fighting, turmoil and instability. I actually feel sorry for the kid she brought to the relationship; it's no way for her to live.

I also wish ex-asshat would grow up and settle his shit, which is probably the only way he can ever have a shot at staying in the bananas' lives. All of my bananas (22, 20, 16 and 13) have no relationship with their father, plus they've all "disowned" his wife as their stepmother. What makes it really sad is they're beyond caring. They don't even get upset about him anymore; they just roll their eyes and snort.

I too have moved on and things are great for me. You'll get there, too.

Thanks. This is an unwitting OW as XWS and I haven't been "together " for 9 years but spent the last two dabbling with one another and some thoughts of R except that we both knew he was incapable of commitment to anyone. So it never became a serious endeavor.

I didn't even know the GF existed until my daughters mentioned visiting her. She moved in two months later and two more later they are engaged.

I know him. I know he can't do commitment. But the possibility that he may with her when he wouldn't with me consumes me.

I am acasually seeing a grest guy. I don't want XWS. I just don't want him to be the guy I wanted him to be with someone else.

Indifference can't come soon enough.

My XW and AP are engaged. They have been living together for two years. What would change once they actually marry? Why would that speed up the crashing-and-burning process?

If they have lasted this long, it seems to me that a marriage contract would not affect significantly their relationship.

Maybe I'm naive, or maybe they are truly in love?

(Likely not, as XW begged to come back weeks before she moved in; when I said no, and continued with the divorce, she moved in and boom, they were engaged.)

In any case, like everyone, I want to not care, but I still do. But certainly not nearly as much as I used to, thank god.

My ex didn't marry the Twatwaffle, but they moved in together before the divorce was final. Oh, and he neglected to tell me of his relocation (typical).

So I have to deal with all of his idiocy around wanting her to be "legitimate," including nearly going to court over him wanting to exclude my parents (who had driven 1000 miles) from my oldest's high school graduation so that the TwatWaffle could attend.

They had a very bitter breakup about 4 years later. She was so desperate to get out that she closed on her new house CHRISTMAS EVE.

So about 5 years ago, I'm sitting at home with my SO watching a movie and the phone rings. It's the police department from Phoenix, AZ. Apparently, they had arrested TwatWaffle's brother (convicted felon and all around scum) and he not only had MY identity on him, but that of both of my kids (and the ex's). Apparently this person had been having a high old time on the ex's credit cards and frequent flier miles and hotel rewards points.

I told him she was a low-class gold-digger when they got together, and he ended up having to admit to me that I was right. He got exactly what he deserved.

Cat

XPOS didn't marry last OW, but he moved in with her the moment I kicked him out. They then moved out of state together (where his mother lives so he could help care for her). Then I found out there was already a one year old child involved.

OW decided the issues with his mother was too much to take on. She left him, took OC with her, moved to yet another state (where her parents live), and she has proceeded to file a paternity suit against him to get child support. He is playing the "evade process servers" game at this very moment.

So even though their A lasted (to the best of my knowledge) a good 3+ years, the moment real life started to intrude in their fantasy world their relationship imploded. The entertainment value alone has been priceless.

In time you will get to the point that you don't care. Truly!

I REALLY WISH I COULD LIKE SOME OF THESE STORIES AS IN A LIKE BUTTON OR SIMILAR.

OK THE EXHUSBAND married the very last somewhat other woman. I had already asked him to leave and he refused when he started "talking" to her. So she is a somewhat other woman amongst 3 others he was seeing or talking to a the time before he left my home. I found this out after the fact.

The girl is 16yrs his junior and they just had a baby Jan 2016 shot gun ceremony was in Sept 2015.

Our com 9yrs old was hospitalized in November and the new child bride told my ex if he was there she was leaving him and kept calling him and texting him over 50 times while he was in ER and while she my daughter was being admitted.

I just learned yesterday as a matter of fact this is perfect timing for your question that he called our 25yr old daughter complaining that he hates his life wants to move out could care less to see the new born baby ever again etc. Regrets marring her says she is dirty and never shaves any more the young girl has a beard and mustache I kid you not amongst other body hair issues. He is broke and wont move in with is father cause he will look like a loser Which he is btw. His father my ex fil told my oldest daughter 27yr old that my ex and the new bride went out on Saturday night til 3am got sloppy drunk and they both seem no not want to care for the new child mind you my ex husband is 47yrs old. According to my youngest they leave the newborn with her parents every night for the last week and a half so they can sleep for work and pick it up after work til they have to go to bed again.

Now if this isn't a telenovela which is soap opera I don't know what is. He still maintains to me that his life is perfect and I bug him for support cause I am jealous lol little does he know I know.

My XH moved in with younger, wealthy formerly married OW about a year after our separation. She lives with her elderly Dad in a multi million dollar home in a fancy area not far from XH's work. He always wanted a short commute and now he has one. They both avoid social media and have zero web presence so I have no idea what they are up to. I hear nothing from either of them. It all feels really odd, to be so easily replaced, to know someone so well and now nothing is left of our 20 years together.

But fuck it. Life is too short to spend any more of my time thinking about him, them, or that past. Yes, we had some good years, and yes, it was ended horribly and abruptly and it hurt like hell.

But now I have a nice SO who actually makes me a priority, and makes the effort to develop better communication patterns together with me. I am experiencing the best relationship of my life. I live in a small rural home alone with a cat, my SO lives in the valley and my life is truthful and honest, and I have no shame or guilt about my behavior. My XH doesn't have what I have despite his fancy lodgings and short commute.

No stories where the new wife finds out he is a cheating piece of shit and cuts his dick off and feeds it to him?

My friend's husband said he hates to pry and he wouldn't tell GF's parents to talk her out of the wedding but he might send an anonymous letter telling them "not to mortgage the house for the wedding or turn her bedroom into a sewing room just yet ." Lol

[This message edited by waiting2see at 8:27 PM, March 7th (Monday)]

The ex is still with the ow--9 years since d-day and who knows how long before that--and I don't care. I love me life without him. I love my freedom. I'm so happy he's no longer my problem.

She lasted only 4 months after he got back from his deployment permanently. Now he's being "nice" and trying to make me his confidant. I ignore his hoovering. I'm happier and healthier with him out of my life.

This is not my story, but it is one of the greatest Karma stories of all time:

A local realtor came home one day and told his wife that he was leaving her for her best friend whom he had been having an affair with for two years. They had vacationed together with her and her husband and children for years.

The BW takes to her bed, devastated, for months. Finally she gets in touch with the OBS and they start talking and then...they fall in love.

She moves in the with the OBS to a lovely cottage in the Cotswolds.

The realtor meanwhile gets engaged to his OW but still isn't divorced. He goes off with her on a ski trip to the Alps and dies in an avalanche. The BW is still the beneficiary of his insurance policy and will and inherits EVERYTHING because they hadn't finalised the divorce. The OW gets NOTHING. NOTHING.

Then end.

^

My ex has been gone for 8 years. We were only together for 5. The day I kicked him out, he moved in with OW. And since then, this is how ihs life goes. Propose to woman who is paying the mortgage, give something that resembles a ring, (vending machine prize, bread bag tie, small hair band, a circle drawn with a sharpie...) she gladly says yes, because she isn't a shallow bitch and love is all that matters. Engagement lasts for 6-8 months, while no plans are ever made because he is "trying to get his life together". Then psycho fiance loses her mind over nothing, and leaves his shit in the lawn. So, he moves in with the girl he started sleeping with 6 weeks prior. Woman with lawn full of men's underwear is devastated, he was so amazing. How could he do this too her Their love is real!

This has happened at least 8 times now. Probably more, but I don't keep count anymore.

I get 1-2 calls a year that he is moving, his ex is a bitch, and he's engaged.

My life is good. I have managed to not have my shit thrown on the lawn semi-annually. I am remarried. The kids and I live with my husband in a nice house, 700 miles away from where all the affairs happened. I now spend my free time hiking, writing, taking the kids to soccer, reading...and not playing Nancy Drew, Girl Detective to prove whether or not my husband is faithful.

I have been D for 7 years now. I have met and dated some really nice men and a couple of not so nice ones.

I have a great network of family and friends, a great job, and am just enjoying life without the drama that affairs and craziness brings.

My wxh and MOW didn't last. She re-married her bxh about a year after she left him for her soulmate (my wxh). That bitch is still also crazy.

My wxh has a new soulmate that he apparently beats periodically, but she stays because "my God, I love that man."

I have engaged a very rough collection guy to collect some money that wxh owes to me, and that's in process. So, once/if that's received, I'll spend it on something that will make my life better.

Life is good. It is so much better than I ever thought that it could be.

Xpos left on DDay, saying he was moving in with one of the women he had been sleeping with. He and slut were engaged and planning a rather large wedding months before D was final and held it as soon as they could after. She was already quite a bit larger than me (as one relative said after seeing her, "She's HUUUGE!!!") and was soon twice that size.

Fast forward to last summer when people began telling me he was complaining to people that she is sick all.the.time, and unable to do things. Then someone sent his info they found from the AM hack and dump (they knew I had been aware he was on there while we were M). He is still seeking women on there, this time wanting threesomes. Who knows if slut is a part of it or if he has another willing partner in it.

Sounds like a great M to me! and I doubt he will D again because I doubt he wants to divide everything again after losing money to me in our D! More likely that she will meet an untimely end similar to the one he had planned for me. But I outsmarted him, thankfully. From what I hear, she may not be smart enough.

ETA: If you want to know how things are going for me now, just check my tag line......

[This message edited by thebighurt at 1:11 PM, March 8th (Tuesday)]

My dad married his LTA partner. Now my mom lives peacefully in her cottage like home, tending her gardens and cats, not wealthy but not starving.

My dad and his wife live in a tiny filthy apartment and don't have two nickels to rub together. They fight constantly. The police have been called multiple times. They are miserable.

Moms life isn't perfect but I would say she is much more at peace than she ever was during the marriage.

My ex married ow. Before the marriage she was doing the hard sell to win over my kids. Chocolates, books, Vera Bradley bags. She'd drive an hour to bring them lunches over spring breaks, etc. even my d said "it's kind of excessive"

Then they married and she moved in and it.all.stopped. My d said "she doesn't talk to us anymore, it's like she gave up"

I've been told (I never ask) that she is a passive agressive nightmare and "dad is the chill one"

Dad was never the chill one, lol.

I kind of love that she keeps him on a short leash and he now has to walk on eggshells.

Granted, from the outside, it still looks all good so maybe he is happy? I no longer care. I've got a BF whose love language is acts of service. I feel so loved when he takes out my trash without being asked. Keeps my old car running and he's way better in bed. ( because he isn't a selfish ass)