SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

That's funny. I think I'll add it to my profile.

Ok I can make a contribution here now!

So I had a Tinder first date last week where about 30 mins in and before I realised quite what I was doing I had made this gesture: 👉🏻 👌🏻

😞

FOR CONTEXT: she's a feminist and sciencey person, so I thought she would enjoy a fact I had heard on a podcast recently about how when they were building the International Space Station, Russia and America were both building units that needed to dock with each other and usually when designing something like that one bit will slot into another, but neither country wanted to be the woman in the arrangement. This was easier to explain with hand gestures and hence...👉🏻 👌🏻

We have a second date planned for today.

How did Date #2 go there?

I seem to be getting pretty good at sniffing out the catfish on OLD. There's been exactly *one* profile that was even remotely attractive the last few weeks so I messaged that I thought he was quite cute.

While waiting for him to respond I took a closer look.

Contrary to most catfishers MO, this one had hijacked a full set of photos from somewhere: guy with cute puppy beside the ocean; guy sitting on a sporty motorbike somewhere in the mountains, wearing cute ripped jeans and red tennies; guy at a seaside resort with palm trees etc etc.

Looking at the pics again, they all looked like they were in another country, like somewhere in Europe, even though the profile location said *my old home town*. Guy himself looks vaguely Spanish or Italian.

So he messages back, and the English is slightly higher level catfish-speak than the usual, but still a bit stinky:

Hi,

Thank you for taking your time to go through my profile, l am *guyname* and what can l call you.

l am looking for a long term relationship above that l will like to establish friendship first and take it from there, what are you looking for in a partner and have you had any luck meeting someone on a date?

I will like to chat and get to know more about you and l must say your profile stands out and you look beautiful gorgeous with a charming smile. I hope we can chat more and get to know each other better.

*guyname*.

So I message back and ask what part of my old hometown he lives in and ask him to send me a phone number so I can call him and chat like he says he wants to.

Then I tell him I like to meet up asap with potential dates without a lot of messaging first, as it can build up expectations.

Surprise surprise, radio silence from the Nigerian boiler room...

NEXT

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:24 PM, August 7th (Monday)]

Wow...seeing this thread made me laugh lol....

I went back to my previous posts from over a year ago...I posted last june about a couple of weird ones, and one girl that i had went out on 3 dates with and was going on another one with.........Well...i am still with her lol.

Not my story, but one I heard from somebody I met today.

Dude goes on dating site.

Dude meets girl.

Dude arranges to meet girl after talking for a week.

Dude travels to girl's location and meets girl.

Dude moves in. As in, stays that night at girl's house and never leaves. For three weeks. He was still there until Friday night, when he moved from girl's house to jail.

We're encountering dude because dude reportedly discovered that girl has three more kids than the three she said she had already. Stuff happened at that point and the police were called.

There's some weird stuff in the water around here lately.

Nice message today from a fugly old geezer who took offense with my profile statement that pics of minor children on dating sites aren't OK, and that there was nothing wrong with his pic of an infant granddaughter.

Had to use small words responding to that one to splain about the pervs...

He then went on (!) to imply that "there must be a reason" why I don't own a car, snark factor >10

I told him I use carshare because I'm just trying to do my bit to leave the planet in better shape for his grandchildren.

We'll see if he can come up with a snark for that one.

And he had a snappy comeback about me being cute but ignorant.

Such a winner this one.

BEST one from a friend: Friend talks to a guy online & on phone; they have a couple casual dates, and then sleep together on third date. She said sex was "OK-except at the end he throws his head back and HOWLS like a wolf." She exits quickly.

After she tells a couple of us this story & we're chuckling, she tells us his name. Turns out it's one of my(former) student's fathers (divorced) and I see him at the gym several times a week...and I can't even make eye contact w/him now.

I'm sure he thinks I'm a total B****, but OH WELL.

*gasp*

tigerfan, next time you see him on the treadmill, go over and say, "I'm surprised you're not running with the pack."

Somer222:

There was a minister on the dating site and he was pretty attractive and had a nice profile.

Well painted-lady, that was much better than the OLD minister I met. He informed me his specialty was azz-eating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 3:23 PM, August 9th (Wednesday)]

I've totally just remembered one that I'd suppressed a bit. It is kind of TMI but it's too awkward/funny not to share.

I had been seeing a girl from Tinder for a few weeks - I think this was on our 7th or 8th date, or somewhere around that, we'd kissed but not slept together yet. Date was to go for lunch then back to hers to watch a film (yes I know, you can totally see where this is going but that was genuinely not the plan). Lunch was nice, film was good, we started making out and it started to heat up from there.

The only thing is that at this point I'm being prescribed 30mg of citalopram (an SSRI, used to treat depression) and one of the side effect of citalopram is anorgasmia... *ahem* "Anorgasmia is a type of sexual dysfunction in which a person cannot achieve orgasm despite adequate stimulation." Yes it is frustrating.

So we're doing the thing, it's all very exciting, I'm having a good time, she's having a good time, but after a while it's becoming more obvious that nothing more is going to happen for me down there and we're at a point where it feels like we should be finished soon, so I start to worry about quite how I should go about ending it.

The way I ended up doing it was probably not ideal. In hindsight I do realise that the last thing any woman wants to hear right in the middle of sex with a new partner is the phrase "I should probably explain..." 😑

"Anorgasmia is a type of sexual dysfunction in which a person cannot achieve orgasm despite adequate stimulation."

Is that how you got your username?

Today there is a Harley boy with a profile headline: "Where are all the tall and small breasted women hiding?"

I decided to give OLD a try again. First few days I received the mandatory scam emails and a few legitimate contacts. One however cracked me up. This is from his profile:

I have good longevity genes. Chronological age can be a poor indicator of health and fitness. In appearance and biological testing I am in my early 60's and I list my biological age rather than my chronological age. My photos are recent and accurate.

Say what? I can list my biological age?? Hmmm, who knew? OK, I feel 25 since he said his age is 60.

Anyway, I replied back and asked him to fess up because I told my real age. This was a creative way to not actually lie.....but lie.

Here's a gem from someone's profile (oh the joys of senior dating... )

"Have your menopause under control."

"Have your menopause under control."

That is so offensive that it's hilarious! Maybe we fifty somethings should put something on our profiles like: "have your age related ED under control."???

Bumping because I saw this on OLD today, one photo, one text block, at first I thought it was all one sentence... Anyone else smell a catfish?

"Am a noble man who loves and cares endlessly, am straightforward, nice, straight forward and honest. I have been divorced for quite a while and I chose to put all my fixation on my Job to influence the best to out of it however over the long haul I understood isn't anything but difficult to be independent from anyone else without an partner and after a long idea I chose to attempt my luck in the event that I will discover love again yet lamentably for me all I got were intense encounters and all that extremely made me to remain away for some time. I am not scanning for an perfect partner, all I require is somebody genuine, legitimate, understanding, strong and straight forward who know precisely what she needs and is family oriented, I trust they are still exquisite, honest and attractive ladies out there.. I will be happy to begin with kinship first and see the direction we are heading to.. don't hesitate to chat me up and let become more acquainted with each other better since life is too short to be in any way lonely."

I'm out of words for that one. I feel breathless from reading that run-on post!

I am loving this thread!

I have just started to dip my toes into OLD so I don't have any stories to share yet. I have not actually been on any dates yet. I had a near miss. Guy lives an hour and a half away. He cancelled due to a snow storm, which I completely get.. I wouldn't drive an hour and a half to meet a random stranger in a snow storm on a first date either We have been chatting a bit but nothing rescheduled yet.( I have been away for 2 weeks on vacay and just re-activated my account.) Have been messaging back and forth with a few guys. Will share stories once I have some