SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You're a smart woman, TOC. You will be fine I think.

Most of us BSes wanted an apology. Some of us got it, some didn't, so I get that. I also get that the heart follows the head, but at a remove.

Honestly, the apology will probably make you feel better. You'll get the sense that he understands what he's done and is truly sorry for doing it. That'll be a good feeling.

As for being worried about how he'll take your overseas job announcement, well, TOC - you are a good woman and a kind and caring person. Remember, though, he fired you from that job.

Here's one more nugget to think about: Are you doing just a bit of pain shopping? Dropping yourself back into some of the old habits because they are familiar? Trying to ease everyone's pain when it isn't quite your job? Do note that that last question is about an action that is perceived as good and noble in our culture. That doesn't mean that it is the correct action for your healing, but it also doesn't mean that you will be harmed by taking it.

Best of luck, TOC. I've read a few of your replies to other posters and they're always spot-on in my book. Do please consider hanging around in future, the wording up above could be interpreted to mean that you don't think that you will.

Have a happy new year and a great life.

You've handled this shitstorm with grace and dignity, and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so no matter what you decide.

I honestly think that the day you met your WH for coffee was his only chance, and he blew it. My only concern now is for your dog. Will one of your kids take her? As DM said, dont be a stranger, best of luck.

[This message edited by nme1 at 5:36 AM, January 1st (Sunday)]

Hi NME1 - you're so sweet to worry about Bella. No need though as she will come with me! It's much easier to repatriate pets than it once was, maybe a short quarantine at worst. It was one of the first things I checked! She's my true constant companion and I couldn't bear leaving her behind. We have a few months of busy work preparing until then but sorting her ability to come with me was top of mind.

Devotedman, you can bet I'll be sticking around. SI is in my blood now. Not something I ever planned but I would be so lost otherwise. Not getting rid of me that easily!

TOC my first thought when you mentioned his therapist was for closure for you both. You handled everything like such a rockstar. Your response was swift and definite. That being said, your heart has not had a chance to catch up with your head. This may be a good way to have full closure for you both before you head off to the rest of your life. No he doesn't deserve it but it may be something that you can benefit from as well.

Hi once again TOC

I have followed your story since the beginning. I too only wanted the best for my Ex husband. My story was much like yours. Thought meeting may be beneficial for him. Well,I forgot about ME! I was back in the "mess"of his making called infedility. NO...I'm in the camp of no contact. I think devotedman has given you great advice. It is entirely up to you.....May your 2017 be filled with only the best things in life! Cheers