SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Exactly. I still want to know what possible "proof" she could have provided and how she found SI and your specific posts. And sadly, I believe you will be back when you find out that they are in fact sleeping together. I hope that's not the case but all the evidence points to a physical affair. Her entire family is gaslighting you and you're allowing it.

eta: You say this thread "destroyed" her? Well, at least now you have her attention because before she read it she didn't give a damn how you felt, what you thought or what you needed. No man or woman that values their spouse or SO totally ignores their needs.

[This message edited by Chicky at 5:44 PM, March 8th (Wednesday)]

Assuming that this is indeed OP still posting, this thread should be locked in accordance with his wishes.

Just in case it isn't, this thread should absolutely not be deleted by the mods.

Please know that we are here for you if you need us in the future.

Removed due to inappropriate content.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:36 PM, March 8th (Wednesday)]

You all have been toxic. This was a made up scenario as part of a research paper, and the advice that was given was terrible, horrible, and would have not helped anyone going through what this ficticious person was going through. Look forward to reading my research paper on you unqualified relationship advice

Wow, just wow. You come here and use this site, which has been a godsend for hurting men and women?

Or is that just another way to appease your wife.

Regardless, you have gotten the best advice possible.

You have violated all of us, many who are still in excruciating emotional pain, if what you say is the truth.

I suggest you purchase Not Just Friends and How to Help Your Spouse Heal from an Affair (for your cheating wife).

[This message edited by annb at 6:37 PM, March 8th (Wednesday)]

Can't imagine what crackerjack community college would ask you to research something like this - unless you're majoring in Incest 101.

PS - tell your wife we're not buying her crap and if you're interested - when wifey won't stop carousing with good old unc - you can talk to a mod about upgrading your account so you can be anonymous again...

wifeloveuncle, you're a very sick individual. You definitely need help but not from SI. POS!

I highly doubt this is OP - but his wife doing damage control. Can't figure out why she'd go to such measures on an anonymous board where no one knows her....but it does seem we struck a chord.

If this were truly for a research paper, there wouldn't have been any begging to delete the thread.

This is his wife. She knows we know she's cheating, and she's doing damage control.

We are far from unqualified. We have been there, done that. We know what will work..And what won't. And those of us who stuck around,long after we reconciled, to help give back to the site that saved us, and our married, can spot a lying cheating coward a mile away.

Your husband will figure it out. And he will remember how badly you've abused him. You need some serious help.

[This message edited by confused615 at 6:54 PM, March 8th (Wednesday)]

Or it's the OP and he figures this is the only way we'll stop offering advice. That's my vote.

He honestly panicked and erased his posts. Someone trolling a board doesn't panic like that.

He's doing this because he wants the thread shut down. He's completely freaked out because his WW is pissed.

I get it.

Sassylee...my guess is she's trying to make us all seem crazy, because she fears her husband will tell her boyfriend's wife, and possibly show her this thread.

A student doing a research paper (which we've had before btw - many times) wouldnt go pleading to the mods to delete the thread. There's too much desperation from OP....his wife - she's cunning...

Yes confused615 - I agree - I'm just a step behind you in my conclusions lol!

I'm usually all for reconciliation - but in this case would suggest changing the locks and filing for D tomorrow!! She must be dangerous.

LOL. There are doctors, lawyers, therapists and you name it here. This site is proven to work. 56,000 + members would agree. I feel like she is trolling in his account.

Just when you think you have "Seen it all" . . .

You all have been toxic. This was a made up scenario as part of a research paper, and the advice that was given was terrible, horrible, and would have not helped anyone going through what this ficticious person was going through. Look forward to reading my research paper on you unqualified relationship advice

This is much too angry to be a response from a student doing research for a paper. In those cases the post is left up until the required data is obtained, then either quietly deleted or left untouched.

I spend a great deal of time in front of screens, so when I want to review something several times I copy and paste it to a document and enlarge it for easier reading. That's what I did with the original post on this thread and why I was able to quote the post after it was deleted.

I've reviewed it several times and the detail and emotion seems authentic.

OP you said that she is also communicating with other men in the armed services. If your wife didn't have an affair, she is still acting inappropriately. I hope counseling works for you, but I think you are going to have problems in your marriage until you stop making excuses for bad behavior.

This is a good, supportive community and doesn't deserve your anger just because your wife is holding your feet in the flames.

Some things just defy rational thinking (as practiced by most people)

I saw this on another web posting and thought to share to put this sxxx in perspective.

"You can't make this up."

#1 -- WW works for a doctor whom she looks up to and considers her mentor. Her AP is one of the patients, so her actions put her marriage AND HER EMPLOYER at enormous risk!! So the BH discovers the affair, is dying inside but waits for confirmation, GETS confirmation (essentially catching them in the act at the doctor's office), and when she gets home, confronts her...and guess what? He screams at her for a couple hours.

WW goes into the doctor "for advice" and proceeds to ask the doc if she should leave a husband who would scream at her for 2 1/2 hours and come unglued. Hearing only that side of the story, naturally doc says "Yes, that kind of behavior is abuse," so WW starts telling friends and family alike that BH is abusive. At that point, he had only gotten proof not long before, it was egregious proof (caught in the act at the place of employment), and he wasn't sure about exposure and whatnot. But once he heard that WW had talked to doc and was using his advice to justify her behavior, he drove over to the doc's office THE NEXT DAY, and essentially said to him: "Did she happen to tell you that I screamed at her for 2 1/2 hours and came unglued because I literally caught her in the act of cheating on me IN YOUR OFFICE ... WITH A PATIENT?"

Naturally, the doc was changed his tune upon hearing this, immediately fired WW and dropped the patient...but when BH asked WW why she didn't tell the doc all the pertinent facts, she said (here it comes) :

"It was personal--I didn't think it was relevant."

I SWEAR TO GOD, I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 -- BH and his WW are members in a "praise band" at a more modern church. Both claim to be Christians. BH discovers his WW is having an affair with another member of the praise band! Now the whole purpose of this band is to .... PRAISE GOD. So BH confronts WW and essentially asks her "How can you commit adultery...and claim to be praising God?" (Good question, right?) And she says some gobbledygook about being able to minister to God more effectively with the OM. Right! Anyway, so BH ever so properly goes to his pastor, to let the man of God know that the "praise band" is being used for adultery and asking him to step in.

Here it comes: The PASTOR -- man of the cloth -- not only refuses to step in and tell WW and OM "adultery is wrong"... but claims he won't do it:

"... because we need the music."

I SWEAR TO GOD, I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP!!!!!!!!!!

If you stick around here long enough, the day will come you'll hear a story so unbelievable you'll feel like your situation wasn't so bad after all!

An actual marriage or a research paper...doesn't matter which.

Either one would be fatally flawed at this point.

What is interesting to me is this:

1. We are more "qualified" than some "experts" to advise.

2. The denouncement "toxic" proclamation is NOT the same language pattern as OP.

You see some of us have worked for the Feds in the past, so bull is especially obvious.

I am usually very docile.... but this really chapped me.

I feel very sorry for you OP. If you continue to let your wife manipulate you, you may lose more than just your marriage. Shes a liar, plain and simple, and deleting your posts won't change that.