SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just charged and turned on phone #2. Apps of note that I see installed include:

Talkray

textPlus

Text Me

Hangout

Facebook

WhatsApp Messenger

Kik

Skype

Nextplus Free SMS Text + Chat

icq video calls and chat

Carrier is Verizon. Phone is Samsung Galaxy S6. I opened WhatsApp and most of the other apps in the above list and there was no profile set for any that I could see. I am not sure how many of these apps might have been installed by default. I know that my old Samsung shipped with many more apps than my latest Android Moto G4.

Can't really dive in further right now (at work), will need to look at it later. Postponed system update on the phone until midnight, cancelling was not an option.

Phone #2 has been located...W already told me that she doesn't use it for anything personal and deletes any contact info from it after using it because others occasionally borrow it from her.

And on this work phone that is not used for anything personal, you found:

Talkray

textPlus

Text Me

Hangout

Facebook

WhatsApp Messenger

Kik

Skype

Nextplus Free SMS Text + Chat

icq video calls and chat

It would be strange if a work phone had all those lifestyle apps ready-installed, and not much point keeping them on there if the phone is never used for personal stuff.

I think it would be wise to see what you can recover from it, even if you have to take it somewhere to get a specialist to take a look at it.

That's basically the Mount Rushmore of cheater apps. I believe that Dr Fone can recover WhatsApp and Kik.

My work phone is a bare bones corporate model with limited memory and apps that came preconfigured from corp IT.

I can't imagine anyone putting facebook, hangout, or kik on a work phone.

Why all the detective work pineapple? Why not schedule the poly?

I doubt anything will be recoverable from that phone.

Polygraph time.

These "sleuthing" expeditions seem to go way further than necessary. You hold the upper hand now - so use it.

Sit her down now with a look of seriousness. Put in front of her the list you just typed with all the apps that you found on her second phone.

All you need to say is, "I ran a recovery on these apps. Before I tell you what I found, why don't you tell me?"

Then sit back and see what she has to say.

She doesn't know what you know - and having the upper hand puts you in the driver's seat. It really doesn't take much from there.

My verizon S6 didn't have any of those installed as a default app. Maybe facebook & skype...maybe.

KIK???

I have an iphone 6plus for work and facebook is the app installed out of those. My wife was using WhatsApp to cheat as well as Facebook. I doubt most of those were being used for business, but before you jump to conclusions ask your wife what apps she used for work without naming them off. Its possible she uses a few of those for work related communication. I doubt Hangout , WhatsApp and KIK are on that list.

C'mon guys, of course a work phone will have those apps installed...

...if you work for a drug dealer or an escort service.

^^^ Too funny!

During a very brief trip down a sleazy rabbit hole KiK was the app of choice. NSFW

At least she gave you the phone (or did you find it on your own) and it wasn't accidentally dropped into a bucket of paint...

Talked with W just now. There's a plausible explanation for these apps being there. She will send me some documentation that hopefully will corroborate her explanation, which on the surface I find to be very reasonable. I am not going to go into any detail here about that. This is probably a lot of smoke but no fire regarding this phone. It is not your standard work phone. I'm not being a wishful thinker here, you will just have to trust me on this one. I will do my best with recovery software, but I am still expecting nothing. It was something that I did need to see just to be sure. I am confident that I have the same phone I have previously seen and that it hasn't been wiped with a reset. I will perform due diligence on it over the next few days and relinquish it at that point.

The sh*tfit she had the other day was mostly a meltdown from the ongoing stress of the past few weeks and not wanting to drive to her distant workplace on a Sunday afternoon. Probably not related to anything on this phone that I might find.

I'm still more interested in seeing if I can recover some more missing texts from the primary phone. It would be reassuring to me to see them and compare content and timelines with past travel.

W is very interested in R. I need to gain some confidence that I have had full disclosure from her. The poly will help. I will try to stitch together the texts with call history and travel history to see if I can arrive at any sort of peace with what I have been told and what the evidence says.

W does seem very sincere in her expression of sorrow at the hurt which she has caused. I do think it pains her to see what I am going through.

"Pineapple, the apps were installed by other people. I already told you that other people used it"

She used to have a competitive advantage because she was an effective liar and she had you back on your heels.

Power dynamic is shifting.

The phones are probably a distraction.

But the things you said in your first posts, are the things that brought you here need to be addressed.

Their dates, the lie about the concert, the staying at home when you went camping with the kids and the planning to hook up when they traveled all are perfect opportunities for boundaries to be crossed.

To paraphrase Gene Hackman in "Enemy of the State" "She is either very smart or incredibly stupid"

I hope for your sake she is stupid.

If it's any help, I have an android Galaxy 7 / Verizon

The following off your list came installed, to the best of my memory

Hangouts

Skype

Facebook

also the standard text and a Samsung Messages app

That is a cheater's list of Apps. They didn't come preloaded on the phone .....

Good points. I have have re-read my original post probably every single day since making it. Honestly it brings me to the brink of tears every time I see it. I have drifted far from my original strong urge for R. I may eventually decide to go down that route. As of today I have no idea. Poly next. Once I look over phone #2 and get what I can from it. I can only invest so much time and energy into this. I need to work. I need to sleep. I need to exercise to keep the anger in check and bring my BP back down to normal. I don't even know what my kids have been doing since getting back from vacation over a week ago. I have talked more with my W about our relationship in the past three weeks than all the preceding 23 years combined. However this all turns out, it's a difficult and long road to follow.

I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. You probably won't get the truth from her unless you polygraph her. A polygraph is the thing that I needed most to even consider R. Consider it.

I have drifted far from my original strong urge for R. I may eventually decide to go down that route

"Drifting" is ok because you now are on a track to try and determine just what it is you must reconcile yourself to. You must reconcile with yourself what she did before you can recover and reconcile with her. The big issue is the extent of the A. You'll never know the full truth. But you gotta get yourself to a point where you believe you're maybe in the 90th percentile. Otherwise the uncertainty will eat you alive and impair your ability to R.

I believe you're approaching the end game. The poly will be your next big tool.

You say she acting out because of the stress. How is your demeanor with her? The more she sees you as determined, methodical, detached, calm, and measured, the more the power dynamic shifts. She sees you in control. It is possible that you can lead her out of this.

You're doing well.

Try two different recovery apps on both phones. Chances are results will be similar. Unfortunately there is little rhyme or reason as to when a deleted text gets purged. A 'ok to delete' bit is set and the phone clears them when it needs space.

Though at the end of the day...an affair is an affair is an affair. It's till exactly the same amount of betrayal. And also besides, if it wasn't physical it was only a matter of time. As unique as you may feel your wife's affair was as standard issue as it gets. She had feelings for him and wanted to please him. That doesn't lessen over time - it escalates.

Good points. I have have re-read my original post probably every single day since making it.

Honestly it brings me to the brink of tears every time I see it. I have drifted far from my original strong urge for R. I may eventually decide to go down that route. As of today I have no idea. Poly next. Once I look over phone #2 and get what I can from it. I can only invest so much time and energy into this. I need to work. I need to sleep. I need to exercise to keep the anger in check and bring my BP back down to normal. I don't even know what my kids have been doing since getting back from vacation over a week ago. I have talked more with my W about our relationship in the past three weeks than all the preceding 23 years combined. However this all turns out, it's a difficult and long road to follow.

what that did not kill you make you stronger. You have been victimized, Do not let the circumstances victimize you again. Right now you are on your own. Now that the Dday is some what in the past, Make your own affairs like job/advancement, health, peace of mind, bonding with kids etc a priority. The M will be decided on the details of the affair and WW's remorseful corrective actions. What stand out in your first post is WW's antipathy to your expression of being under stress and even mentioning it to POSOM. If there has been no change in this regard whatever she says about wanting to R may not have much emotions or love