SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My girlfriend of 5 years just told me she slept with a very well endowed younger guy who picked her up at a party when we were (sort of) on a break. This information has demolished my self esteem and my opinion of myself.

She was wanting to be open with me.. as I'd just finally asked her to move into my flat.. my girlfriend is an extremely forthright person so she felt it was necessary to give me the full hideous account of what happened.

So.. During this joke of a break we had she went out with friends that really dislike me and seemingly took a whole bunch of drugs. She then went home with this guy n fucked him.. The details are honestly ruining my life...

She recounted how this horse hung guy couldn't initially fit inside her and when they eventually got there he completely wrecked her.

I feel so pathetic and for the first time in my life inferior to another man. She's always made me feel like an alpha male until now but she cant understand why its so important to me to feel like this. She also says she loves me and does want to move in, but I cant even look at her. Shes ruined my self respect and I'm seriously considering penile enhancement surgery as I cant see any other way to stop these thoughts of inadequacy.

Greetings,

Im sorry to hear of your situation - If you were on a break then i dont see an issue -

But the fact that you choose to allow her into your place and being involved in drugs and now cheating - it would be wise to open your eyes

your begging for more problems in the future by having this unhealthy person in your life, re-evaulate and understand what you are choosing here - do you expect to marry her? Or believe she will change?

You have the opportunity to run and not walk - her comments are dusturbing, sick and cruel.

You are who you are and comparing yourself to another person is not wise or reality, there will always be something - accept who you are, there are millions of healthy and available women looking for a good guy -

work on yourself and self-esteem as you deserve better than what you now have - your choosing to allow her petty and demeaning comments to take residency in your head - just because someone says something doesnt mean its true or you have to believe or care about it

Take some time and work on yourself, by investing in yourself you will be taking leadership of who you want to be and will then attract the same - likeness attracts likeness

No one has any magical powers- she cant make you feel anything, you are in control of your own mind - work and regain control -

consider some IC to help you with these issues and put aside any surgery until you clear your head as it may be something you regret and unable to reverse-

[This message edited by Hav1byte at 4:19 PM, July 29th (Saturday)]

Forget the size of his equipment for a second. I understand that's bothering you, but put that to one side.

You're on a sort of a break for whatever reason.

She took "A whole bunch of drugs".

She slept with some other guy.

She's told you that.

You're talking about her moving in with you.

Run. Run very, very far and very, very fast away from this woman.

Do that right now, or this will be the rest of whatever "relationship" you have with her.

Seriously. Run. This woman is a drug abuser who fucks strangers when she hangs out with people who don't like you.

She's shown you who she is. Believe her.

[This message edited by Forged1 at 4:20 PM, July 29th (Saturday)]

Dude, the size of your dick isn't what makes you a man, the size of your character is what makes you a man. That guy sounds like a slutty douchebag. I think you should re-examine moving in with a girl who was so quick to run out and do some drugs and go home with a strange guy. That's just irresponsible behavior. He could have hurt her or even killed her and her faculties and inhibitions were compromised by drugs.

Who initiated this "break"? Because if "breaks" are taken whenever a relationship gets difficult, moving in together seems like a bad idea because one of you has commitment issues. Further, the size of this guy's dick seems to be obfuscating some very real problems in your relationship. You're focused on the wrong thing. His dick doesn't matter. Her response to taking a "break" does.

Don't let her move in just yet. You guys need more work before you get stuck with someone in your flat that you can't get out easily.

Dear Sad,

She only ruins your self respect if you allow her to.

This "hung like a horse" guy is not the issue. The issue is that your GF chose to cheat.

He could be anyone and from a woman's perspective I'd rather have a kind, sensitive guy vs. a horse guy.

If it truly was a ONS (one night stand) and she wants to be with you, then embrace that.

Think about all the people who view porn. Most every person in porn is "enhanced" in one way or another but it is not part of reality.

What if you were with a girl that had bigger boobs than your GF, would you want her to consider a breast enhancement because she didn't measure up.

I know you are hurting, and I am sorry. I think you are focusing on his being well endowed vs. your GF choosing to cheat because it is easier to deal with.

Your GF is a grown woman, she chose to take the drugs and she chose to cheat. Friends aren't to blame.

Focus on what you both want moving forward and then move toward a healthier relationship.

In the end it's the heart that counts.

Be happy you have not married her and move on...she has revealed her true character.

I'm seriously considering penile enhancement surgery as I cant see any other way to stop these thoughts of inadequacy.

My man any woman who make you feel that you need to be hung like a pornstar in order to accommodate/satisfy her is not a woman you want to be around.

Your EXGF(I hope) sounds like a real piece of work and before you completely dump her I'd let her know that that you dated woman that had a snug fit thus making her nether regions feel like you were exploring the grand canyon. I guess you could call it childish and crude, but so is her details relayed to you of her ONS donkey dick.

Its not about how much money you make its what you do with it that matters.

i think that shows how serious is is towards you by telling you the story as if she was relaying a funny incident at work as if she was proud of herself

I think if i was told that i would asume the relationship has run its course as you never know when the fantasy to try again with this guy will pop up again

I ditto everything Forged1 said. Word for word. Listen to that advice.

Forget about the size of your equipment. This is a good excuse to move on and find a quality woman who has BETTER friends that don't do drugs. The fact is she has piss poor friends who do drugs and was probably planned from the start. Believe me she is not worth the effort to try and get over what she has done. You have done NOTHING wrong. Your GF is the one with short comings. No kids, not married. Run like your ass is on fire and please don't mutilate yourself for the likes of her. Those kind of operations can go bad... and when they do they can go horribly wrong; such as having to be amputated.

aSadGuy....

First of all I'm really sorry your feeling this way.

How do you think you would of felt if she left the part out about the size of his dick and just told you she slept with someone? Would your feelings be different?

During this "joke of a break" did you get together with anyone?

It was a jab at you on her end to throw the size of it at you. She knew it would get to you and hurt you.

I'm just going to say it, The Size Of Your Dick Does Not Define You!! It's How You Use The Thing!

Why would you want a dick so big that it's hard to use on your partner? Again, it's how you use it.

"And when they eventually got there he wrecked her"?? Meaning he tore her up? Who wants that?

Sorry if that's rude, but size is not what matters.

Personality, Compassion, Respect, that's what defines you.

Brother, I understand your pain, I really do, all strength. Now, what people value more than dick size, including your gf, is to have a committed relationship. And that is not an easy thing to find, your gf knows that. Mr big dick unlikely will offer her that and even if he does it is unlikely to last. Now, if I were you, I would show her your dick size and dump her and make clear the reason is that she had sex with another guy - even if you were on a break. Furter, tell her she is replaceble and you will send her the photos of your marriage to another girl in due time. It was and is a lost cause, once more I understand your pain and I am on your side, go and find your happiness elsewhere brother, focus on YOU, I wish you strength

P.s.: I would not believe her about the dick size, she could have been too drugged to get wet and attributed it to imagined size, too drugged and euphoric and attributed it to size, it is thickness that matters not size, and she could have fabricated the size TO HURT YOU! Just throw the thrash out man

Wrecked her?

So his tackle is larger than 95% of newborn children?

Wow… that’s a deformity. The only way to get that big is via leprosy.

It sure sounds bad, party, lots drugs, people who hate you and Mr big cock, being on a "Ross and Rachel" break

IF it is true, this sounds like something she would tell her girlfriends about, bragging about bagging a huge one...not her BF.

Her "story" sounds like it is just to shock or hurt you, or to get you to break up, or to get you to pay more attention to her.

The folks here may be right that you should evaluate this relationship with her.

What was the reason for the "break"?

I may be wrong but I don't think it is too far different than how us women feel about being cheated on. We feel insecure and like we are not enough. It can put or femininity into question. What did she have that she as better? Were here boobs bigger? Her Ass? Etc. it is so hurtful. Many women live with this pain. How we compare. . The truth is she didn't even know that about him when she ran off to have a ONS probably. She really wasn't too picky. Where is he now? Why did she come back to you or not go back to him. It is a shallow woman that would care about that anyway

This may be graphic but big can be too big. A right fit can be best. I think this pressure on men is sad. I want my H to please me with what he has. He is not the biggest but he is big enough!

Anyway, she sounds like bad new unless you guys had that agreement that you were not committed at the time. Otherwise, she will

Meant likely so the same thing of M gets hard. If she is so forthright, why didn't she tell you before?

Look, many years back a girlfriend told me a similar story, describing how the previous boyfriend, armed with a 10" pole was able to bang her standing in every possible position in every improbable place.

I did run away and I had to have enough therapy, and enough luck, to find almost immediately after, a GF who appreciated extremely what I have.

I did learn multiple things from that experience.

The most important is that you don't have sex only with your pecker, not meaning only foreplay, toys and so on.... but that good sex is a brain game as much as a physical one.

For some women size is important, for others is not. In the same way that some men prefer tits, some ass, some like it clean, some hairy... you got the message here.

She wanted to humiliate you and she did hit where it usually hurts. Don't even think about surgery, think about therapy and how to move on from this.

Considering that a part of me would take back my WW in a heartbeat, it's better to go and talk to a professional to have at least an unbiased opinion which might help you to recover your self confidence.

Want your self respect back? Dump her cheating, mooching, stranger-fucking, shitty-friend-having ass.

Seriously. At 5 years in, why is she even hanging out with people who openly dislike her boyfriend? Why were you "on a break" in the first place?

BS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:16 PM, November 5th (Sunday)]

aSadGuy, yes you are but not the way you mean, you should be aHappyGuy because you have just had the luckiest escape of your life, you have been given the greatest reason for kicking her to the kerb and dumping this whore, run like hell as far as you can away from her, instead of leading a miserable and painful life if you stay with her.

I think, you have got her all wrong, you don’t understand her one bit, the type of person she really is.

When you say, She was wanting to be open with me, and my girlfriend is an extremely forthright person so she felt it was necessary to give me the full hideous account of what happened.

These words say to me, she took a great delight in telling you about it, telling you all the sordid details, it’s how she gets off, she is a sexually aggressive woman, do you know what a Cuckold is, IMHO that’s her intension for you.

NO! My friend, run like hell from her.

Regards BJE49