SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Disclaimer 1: This thread is unlikely to offer anyone the advice or guidance needed to making a decision to reconcile or divorce. It might offer those in pain camaraderie and a brief moment of distraction. (I hope)

Disclaimer 2: Ego-kibbles don’t have to be about me or any other poster.

Disclaimer 3: This post is brought to you by NTV. Lowered expectations are recommended.

It’s that time of year again! The second annual Ego-Kibble Fund Drive is underway beginning right now. So, I want all of you to reach into your pockets, open up that junk drawer in the kitchen, check the attics and the basements for any extra ego-kibbles that you may have lying around unused. No ego-kibble is too small! None too old!

You see… last year Walmart, as the entity that owned the largest amount of stock in my bitter shriveled soul, offered to allow me to exchange ego-kibbles for jelly beans in order to amass a hill of beans in my back yard. Well, since that time, L-Mart (the department store formerly known as K-Mart) has done some aggressive purchasing of stock in my soul (yes, offered at a heavy discount) and has agreed to place a bid for Ego-Kibble Exchange at the rate 1 Ego-Kibble (EK) per .0000045% of a kidney bean.

Now I know some of you are thinking ‘hey, that beats the pants off the rate Walmart is offering. 1 EK to .000000013% of a jelly bean!’ …but let’s be honest. A hill of kidney beans is simply not as colorful as a hill of jelly beans. It was a hard decision, but made easier by how easily I’m distracted by colors.

At present, my Ego-Kibble funded bean hill is growing a dismal rate, having only 2.343456723 Jelly Bean I will simply NOT be able to meet my Jelly-Bean Hill goal without your help! Help today! Help Right Now!

I have 4 wonderful volunteers standing by ready to take your calls:

ThatBPGuy – not the one that cause the oil spill—the other one!

4Kids – who was once 3kids, but promoted herself over a grueling period of 9 months!

Wool94 – You would know him by his sheepish grin! except… yeah you’re calling an imaginary phone via internet text post...

Adlam – something something name based and mildly amusing!

(((Audience roars with applause!!)))

Thank you, thank you! So on to our callers….

Your Ego Kibble Donation today could be my hill of beans tomorrow! Operators are standing by!

This year we are also offering a special. If you donate TWO kibbles in one response you will get a absolutely FREE live goldfish mailed to your house. Just add water!

(looks in kibble pocket) sorry let me see if I can borrow some from my WW's AP..she ate all her up, maybe he has some to spare. Do you take Kibble Card..oh wait maxed out as well by the WW lol

IOU's scribbled on scrap paper are accepted!

Applied for a Kibble loan. Takes 24hr for approval but there is a long line.

This is what I've been waiting all week for??? *sigh* NTV ...

I'll give you an A for creativity (ego kibble #1) aaaannnnd there's been no farting so far!!!!! (Ego kibbles #2)

Send me my damned goldfish now...

Sassylee Sorry out of stock.

Wool was supposed to bring them. 4Kids, he didn't give them to you did he?

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 4:02 PM, August 11th (Friday)]

Ego-Kibble loan lines are the bane of my jelly bean hill's existence!

Correction, Texashunter, I just checked with Walmart, and they are offering loan pre-approval!!

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 4:03 PM, August 11th (Friday)]

I can spare some time away from my journaling about my flatulence (I had microwave popcorn for lunch) to throw a few EK your way.

Sorry sassylee, I wanted to beat NTV to the punch...

stayedforthekids, operators standing by for your donation.

I have found a crumb of kibble in my pocket. NTV can spell. I saw it in one of his posts.

Hardroadout thank you for your donation! I got kicked out of schewl for farting too much, so seeing people who appreci8 de hard werk I put n is appreci8ed.

Oh my bad, was at Target but I had my CCL and they kicked me out.

You don't even wanna know what Target's ego-kibble exchange rate was. I don't care if the jelly beans were of higher quality.

OMG! I can't stop laughing. Notthevictem...if you are not a standup comedian you ought to be. You would give Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvil a run for their money.

Okay. Time to go dry the tears of laughter off my face.

hisloss Thank you for your donation! I am currently out of stock of goldfish, would you accept mail delivery of a vacuum sealed used shoe instead?

At least it still has a sole.

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 4:13 PM, August 11th (Friday)]

I searched high, I searched low, I couldn't find a single ego kibble... but then I remembered to check my winter coat pockets. Guess what I found?

I have one ego kibble here for whoever can claim the brightest smile this side of the Mississippi. (Which side of the Mississippi? It doesn't matter, we're all on one side or the other.)

What's a missisi... whatever that word is?

Actually - that would be me NTV - my full name is Sassylee Sippy which makes me - Mrs. Sippy...

[This message edited by sassylee at 4:17 PM, August 11th (Friday)]

Let me see if I can contribute

Gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, connection, big smile, gorgeous, nice, smart, good person, integrity, values, amazing

Does that work?

sooo... Sassy.... you get SadieMae's winter coat kibble? oh come on!!!

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 4:44 PM, August 11th (Friday)]