SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

In real life of course. A friend of a friend of mine was cheated on and I helped orchestrate a revenge. Point is I absolutely despise other WSs. I don't know if "despise" is the right word exactly, more like I feel like they need to be punished somehow. How do you feel about other WSs?

[This message edited by Lordofthebinge at 4:09 AM, August 21st (Monday)]

IRL I only knew my dad and step dad; both cheated on my mother but were POS for other reasons besides being adulterers.

I would say that most WS are good people at their core. Certainly our acts were despicable and evil but I don't think that most of us went in with an overt intent of destroying our families. We either didn't really think about it or didn't care. Of course one could argue that such a complete lack of empathy is in and of itself evil. I think most WS are really broken but not inherently awful people. Our actions certainly are though.

I only know a few and am not close to any of them. Knew before I found my H was in this group.

1. Husbands were best friends and wife cheated with bf. I see her daily and have thought she is a POS from the day I found out. It's been years and I still think POS.

2. Another Co-worker gave me a lot of details of her ex-H affair. AP left her husband and they eventually got married. His sons disowned him and he became a step dad to 4. I have seen them recently, and I think they are POS knowing the ex wife story. I had to leave a party because the AP was trying to get my H to dance with her. POS

Very difficult to know your spouse is in the same category.

Wow this is a very sore topic that speaks to my heart.

I'll explain.

Sister: She is my sisterlove, and she can do no wrong in my eyes

Mom: I love her but I can't stand her (she's a religious nut and probably bipolar)

Dad: He's a wonderful dad, just not to me. I love him still though.

Grandfather: He's still my hero even though he had a whole other family.

Aunt: I love her, she took care of me when nobody else wanted me although I highly suspect I was just a source of income for her.

Uncle: He's an asshole, but I pretend to love him for my aunt, he also took me in even though I'm positive it was for the $1000 dollars a month that came with me.

Ex: If I didn't have a son with him he would be completely forgotten.

Other Uncle: He's an ass that eventually did the right thing and left my other aunt because he realized he would never be good for her. Much respect for that.

Numerous cousins: I love them, they are family.

Edited for forgetfulness!

[This message edited by JulieMarie at 6:49 PM, October 23rd (Monday)]

JulieMarie - just checking - all those people in your life have cheated in a relationship?

Gonnabegr8,

Yes absolutely, multiple times through many years of marriage. It was the norm for me to see one of those people or the other fighting, crying or hysterical bonding (I had no idea that was a thing til now with this site)

Yikes - you barely stood a chance to get out of that adultery free - was that on your radar to get help before the affairs or did it just seem manageable to you?

I'm realizing part of my problem is I thought adultery would never happen to me until it did.

Great you're so determined to overcome your past.

I was so determined to be "normal" I had intended to bury it forever and didn't realize how much it would affect me til years later when I would destroy my marriage to the only person who gave me unconditional love and would rather die than abandon me. People would actually marvel about how well put together I was given my background and I TOOK PRIDE IN THAT! (Jesus Christ) So yea you're right I didn't stand a chance.

Well - it can stop with you and full throttle honesty. Everywhere - w your kids and grandkids - talk about it, expose it, get it out and get it healthy.

I'm a believer in changing generational curses - adultery is one for sure.

Stopping the curse is one reason I believe so strongly in full disclosure and honesty. I believe people - spouses and kids - "get" things intuitively - so that even if you "don't tell" they know or some part of them does.

Good luck JM.

Back to OP question - I feel sorry for waywards and only hopeful for the ones who go nuclear on affair behavior.

The others are still creating hurt with the affair.

I sound more righteous than I meant to there - sorry - I know you haven't confessed, Binge.

My sister is a serial cheater as was my former best friend. I know lots of people who cheat. I know they are broken so I don’t wish them to be punished. They almost always get caught and then their lives fall apart. Life has a way of dealing with cheaters.

I think my xBFF is a skank but that's because she fucked my then-STBX/started a joke of a "relationship" with him on the premise that she was obviously a much better person than *I* was, despite the actual reality that she is a total hot mess for many many reasons and ended up cheating on my by-then-XH with a MM and getting pregnant.

Any other WS I either don't know well enough to have an opinion about them or I don't know that they are a WS. Nobody is any better or worse than I am is my opinion---we've all done shit.

Even the above-referenced skank of a former BFF; I judge her more harshly than others because I thought she was my friend, and let me go on and on about how I loved and missed H and wished I could reconcile while she was fucking him. But if I'm being honest he wouldn't have looked at her twice if I hadn't started the whole mess by being unfaithful to him. Her mess of a personality and life is none of my business. I have much better friends now anyway.

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 9:03 AM, October 24th (Tuesday)]