SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Do you have children with this woman? If so go see a lawyer about your rights concerning visitation and child support. If not the next thing to check is your finances. If you have joint bank accounts or share funds. Separate it immediately. Take your money out and open a new account. Are there any bills in her name at YOUR house? Separate that now as well.

Also, check to make sure there are no community property laws in your state. I see your "from" says Sacramento. I don't know if any states truly recognize common law marriages but check anyway for your state. I see your "from" is Sacramento, a quick google search says no to common law marriage in CA. However I am NOT a lawyer so verify for yourself.

Repeat after me, "you are not legally married to this woman". Cut your ties with her now and move on to healing and the next phase of your life. Kick your cheating girlfriend out of YOUR house. If she whines and tries to argue against it tell her to go move in with your former best friend. You are not legally married to this women and there are plenty of loyal people in the world that will NOT cheat on you.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200, get off this crazy train now. Stick around this website and post often. you will find some great advice here. This will suck no question about it but we made it through it and so will you. I wish you the best.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 2:44 PM, August 28th (Monday)]

Thanks everyone for the help. I have yet to talk with my mom and sister yet simply because I can't for the life of me imagine what they could possibly say to justify what they did or to ever make this right with me ever again. I mean if you were them what could you possibly say to your son??

Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

hey man, I and we are on your side, and we understand your feelings and you have every right to feel what you feel and to be angry. At the same time, try to calm down, you have been betrayed yes and it hurts like hell, but you will survive this it is not the end of the world. You also do not have all the information yet. Stay calm, it will help you. strength

Just look at the last thing I posted at then end of the second page and give me some feedback or opinions pls ??

It is entirely possible that this is what is called an "exit affair". She wanted out of the M for any number of reasons but she couldn't bring herself to say it so she did this. I doubt it though, at least in the beginning, because it went on for so long. I don't think someone would play out an exit affair for so long. It could be though that the recent confession was just a way to exit the Marriage. Maybe she thought, "I want out. he's going to make this hard to just walk away. I really don't want to go through a bunch of counseling and trying when my heart isn't in it so I'll just tell him about the A. Then he'll walk away and make this easy."

I also wanted to add that you really should talk to your mother and sister. Your WW is a practiced liar. She was able to lie to you for 5 years. It is entirely possible that your mother and sister do not know what she is saying they know. I can't come up with a reason for this lie if it is one but don't take her word for anything right now.

If she did just want out she should have just did that in the first place.

Yes she should have. But many cheating women don't think like that. They don't want to pull the trigger themselves. Instead they choose "death by cop" forcing you to be the bad guy.

Were it me, I'd probably just up and leave all their sorry *expletive deleted* behind. Just go somewhere and make a new life for myself.

So why there is any confusion? All you have to say Bye Bye. The so called friend most probably ended it (dumped). So she came back to plan B. And it is very big B. Thank your stars that you have no liabilities and you are still young. If you are foolish enough to be with her, she will play the next hunk come along her way. Make sure every one knows what a loser POS your friend is

[This message edited by goalong at 5:18 PM, August 28th (Monday)]

True but my family are the REAL traitors.

Man, this woman had zero problem looking you in the he face and lying her ass off every day for over five years. You have ZERO reason to believe anything she says to you. You really don't know if your mom and your sister did anything to help her. Until you speak to them, you shouldn't believe it. She very well could've lied about it to hurt you. Or maybe they've been less than nice to her,or she just doesn't like them so she's throwing a few parting shots in their direction on her way out the door.

Talk your mom. Do you have any reason to believe she would take part in this betrayal? Other than the lying cheater who said she did?

If you havent talked to your family yet, how do you know they helped hide the affair? At this point there is no reason to. Elie e anything your girlfriend says.

Have you told her to move out?

Does your best friend have another girlfriend? Does he know you know?

Yes, my EX GF is getting the last if her shit. And Im pretty sure my ez fruend kniws that I kniw by now.

No I can't really think of a reason why my mom would

Your mom and sister are cheaters to.

Or

The are greedy and getting paid off.

Anyway your oldlady pissed someone off and she confessed before some one told you.

Hell maybe your mom and sister don't even know and your oldlady is lying?

My bet is they are also cheaters.

[This message edited by TheGuy123 at 10:18 PM, August 28th (Monday)]

@Theguy123 paid off ???

Or why do I really think that they were part of this??

True but my family are the REAL traitors.

I may be alone in this but I think you should talk to you family and get their side of the story. First off your GF is a lyer and trying to save her ass and not come off as the worst person in the world. She could be blameshifting.

The whole suddenly telling you the truth because she felt guilty... after 5 years is crap. Something pushed her to do it.

Perhaps you Mom and sister started putting pieces together and confronted her. Maybe they told her she either needed to come clean to you or they would tell you. Not the best approach, misguided, but some people never want to be the bearer of bad tidings. Maybe they though it was just flirting...and told her to stop or break up. Maybe your exgf has a grudge against your Mom and sister...Maybe your exGF though they knew, but they were just as oblivious as you...Also, the way she told you... details right up front... makes me think she might enjoy causing you pain... taking away your family would add to that sick pleasure.

All I'm saying is that you can't trust your gf. Five years of cheating with your bf and living with you is about is twisted as you can get. I wouldn't believe anything she says at this point. I would want to talk to my Mom and sister to get their side of the story. How much they knew, why they didn't tell you... before I made the decision to cut them out of my life forever.

I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I finally had the nerves to talk to my mom and sis. They said the reason for not saying anything was because they didn't feel right about interfering with mybrelationshios because I'm an adult.

You are an adult. You are also a son and brother and they never even told you that your life was a sham. Real caring. I don't know what to say...huge disappointment for you. Keep your chin up, there are some nice people out there too.

I finally had the nerves to talk to my mom and sis. They said the reason for not saying anything was because they didn't feel right about interfering with mybrelationshios because I'm an adult.

That can only be defined as a betrayal by your own family. If you can't trust your family to have your back, who can you trust?

If it was a friend of mine who did the same thing, he wouldn't be a friend any longer.

[This message edited by badmemory at 1:51 PM, August 29th (Tuesday)]

Wow. So let's say instead of them knowing your GF was cheating you she was instead slowly poisoning you to collect on your life insurance policy. Would they still think it wasn't their place to let you know?

Regardless, their reasoning is insane. You are their family for crying out loud. Do you have any other family around?