SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

That's family by convenience. You know damn well if it had affected them they would have said something. Its simply a cop out. They knew what they were doing when they made that choice. You now know the truth. I personally wouldn't say anything else to them. I wouldn't call them and I would block them. No one needs people like this in their lives even if it is family.

You are in for a long haul of pain but you can minimize this by walking away from all these people. Its going to take some time to heal but in the long run you will be thankful you walked away.

Stay strong. Your doing great.

WTF? Because your an adult? WTH is that?

Oh look! There's a train coming. Should we tell the deaf guy sitting on the tracks? No, he's an adult.

Hey! The I-63 bridge is out. Should we put up a sign? No, don't worry about it. Those drivers are adults.

Oh no! a flash flood is coming. Should we warn the town? No, don't worry about it. The residents are adults.

[This message edited by Dismayed2012 at 3:01 PM, August 29th (Tuesday)]

I dont have any other famiky around. My dad passed away in 2008 and the rest of my family lives in the southwrn states.

WHAT COULD THEY EVER DO TO MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH ME???????

WHAT COULD THEY EVER DO TO MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH ME???????

Well they could start with an unsolicited, sincere heartfelt apology and admitting they were dead wrong.

For me, they wouldn't hear from me again until that happened.

[This message edited by badmemory at 3:25 PM, August 29th (Tuesday)]

WHAT COULD THEY EVER DO TO MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH ME???????

Only you can decide that. Many people here would tell you that they want an apology from OP (this applies to your family). But others would tell you that an apology from OP would be hollow and meaningless and the best true apology is for the OP to never make any contact in anyway again.

Forgiveness really is up to you and it's at your discretion and it is often completely independent of what the person who wronged you has done. Your mother and sister failed to notify you of something that was completely detrimental to your well being in every possible way. You could have been given an incurable STD. And the emotional stress from this type of betrayal often manifests in health symptoms. So, by staying quiet, they helped to perpetuate a situation that could have been stopped long ago. Would an apology be sufficient for that?

On the other hand, the average person hates being the messenger of such horrible news and society as a whole has been conditioned to look the other way with affairs. If your mother and sister have never been through it themselves or have been conditioned through their own upbringing that affairs are not that big a deal, they may have completely underestimated the affect it would have on you. Under those circumstances, would an apology then be sufficient?

Seriously, only you can determine what your family members can do to make this right with you. And there may be nothing they can do. This may be unforgivable or it may not be.

My opinion is you should give yourself more processing time. You may see their behavior differently with time. You may know better what you need with time. When it's fresh, it is very difficult to know what you need or want from anyone, including yourself. More time to heal may help you see how they could have come to the conclusions they did (wrong though they were). You do not have to make a decision today on whether you will or won't forgive or whether you will or won't continue contact with them. Your healing should be your priority here.

They said the reason for not saying anything was because they didn't feel right about interfering with my relationship because I'm an adult.

Wow. You have every right to be angry with them. That is a horrible excuse. They do not have your back. I'd ignore their calls for the time being.

What about exgirl friend. She is out right? Living somewhere else? You aren't still talking or trying to work things out are you? Have you heard from Best Friend yet?

Do you have to see either of them ever? Meaning do you live close by, work together, share hobbies, or take classes together? You need to steer clear of these two also.

Get out, try to find something you enjoy doing. Let friends know about the betrayal, don't hide their secrets.

My heart breaks for you.

EX GF GONE

BACK WITH HER PARENTS

I CALLED MY MOM AND SIS " BITCH ASS PEOPLE "

WON'T HAVE TO SEE EITHER OF THEM AGAIN.

My heart breaks for you man, and your story teaches again that there are many idiots and bad people on this earth, and it hurts and angers the most if also they are close others who should look out for, and protect, you. You may be on your own, but you are not alone, SI and we are here for you. Strength brother, now go and build a happy life, you can do it!

Someone I talked to today said that this is very unusual behavior of a mom and a sister to do this to their own son/brother

Then he went on to say that he thinks, part of that affair was a way to "punish" me even I didn't know anything about it because doing it for that long and the way they did it, in my house and bed and on birthdays and other days shows that part of their affair AND my mom and sister agreeing to keep it from me, all four of them probably had some sort of hidden resentment against me ????

I hate to say it, but what kind of mother would allow such betrayal to fall upon her child?

Count yourself lucky; you're not married.

Get rid of her asap and move on. She's poison, and your mother and sister, well.......

Any update on your status?

Dude, your story sucks. If my family had betrayed me along with my wife I don't know what I would do. But I can say... You don't need them. You don't want them. You need a real family and you deserve one. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Update is. I'm single all four of them have been blocked by me.

But I still can't help but w/o see what's the REAL reason my mom and sis would agree to this. I STILL can't see how they looked at me everyday and never said shit.

I'm thinking there had to be so.e other reason, maybe some resentment or grudge against me

So what do you guys think of my other friends opinion that I posted

The reason that they did it because they're assholes.

When you meet assholes in life what you should do is move on from the assholes as soon as possible lest you become an asshole yourself.

I know you want to know 'why' but you never will. That's because they're assholes. But even if they were you'd probably never get an answer since the probably don't know themselves.

You need to work very hard on putting this behind you.

The reason that they did it because they're assholes.

When you meet assholes in life what you should do is move on from the assholes as soon as possible lest you become an asshole yourself.

I know you want to know 'why' but you never will. That's because they're assholes. But even if they were you'd probably never get an answer since the probably don't know themselves.

You need to work very hard on putting this behind you.

Your mom and your sister coukd never come up with ANY reason for doing what they did.

Not telling you what they knew is wrong.

Not doing anything about the situation (like confronting the cheating GF) is wrong.

Allowing this to gone on is wrong.

They are as guilty as the cheater. It is called lying by omission. And they are guilty of it.

I am so sorry you have to suffer this betrayal from not only your GF but your family for 5 years. 5 YEARS!!!!

I suggest some counseling for you. It can save your sanity (it did mine) during my H's Affair. It can help you process and make some sense of this nightmare.

Everyone here at SI understands the feeling of knowing the person(s) you trusted the most stabbed you in the back and lied to your face - it is the betrayal that is hardest to deal with.

We all understand that here. The lies and crap the betrayed spouse or GF/BF suffers. Anger. Anxiety. Hate. Depression.

Please - eat and drink and exercise. Exercise and yoga helped me tremendously. I will say prayers for you.

I understand your friends point but if it were a deep set resentment toward you they they would LOVE to cause you pain by telling you. They would want to be the barer of bad news and rub it in your face.

I believe they are just horrible that didn't care enough or were so self center they didn't want to deal with it or...I don't know. I can't find a reason but I doubt you had anything to do with it.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this double betrayal. Has your family even tried to reach out to you?

Sharkmans asshole comment is so spot on that it’s perfectly fine that he double posted it!