SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This Monday Dec.4th will mark 50 years since the day I met my wife!

We were in high school, I was on the yearbook committee and had commented about a girl in a class photo. I said I thought she was very pretty. Another girl on the committee happened to know her and spilled the beans about my comment. Later, she passed by my locker and said 'Hi'...

I phoned her that night..talked for about 2 hours and asked her out... to go Christmas shopping at a nearby plaza.

Dec.24 I ask her to 'go steady' and give her my ring to wear. Corny, I know!!

Seven months later, we start having sex.

The rest is history, as they say.. an unwanted pregnancy, an abortion in Porto Rico.

...but we stuck together thru all the turmoil and tears.In June of 1972, we get married.

The rest of the story is in my profile.

So Monday we are going back to our High School and visiting the very spot in front of my old locker where we met. Corny, I know!!

If that other girl had just kept her big mouth shut, my life would have taken an entirely different course. God only knows how my fate might have been altered. Or hers for that matter.

Too late for regrets... I expect we will be together at least until one of us dies. I hope I go first.

smy

((somanyyears))

I read through your story. You have been through so much. I hope your visit Monday to the locker is therapeutic for you. You sure deserve some peace.

Hope

If yoy die before her, promise me you'll fart while you do it? so she has to live the rest of her life tying the memory of your last moments with the smell and will never be able to tell anyone?

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 4:46 PM, November 30th (Thursday)]

(((somanyyears))) We all look back and wonder.... the decisions that we made... the roads that we travelled.

There are always regrets....We have to accept them, face them and live them.... and then do are best every minute of the day to live life to the fullest.

Take care!

I don't think it's corny at all...I think it is so sweet .

Why do you want to go first?

I just want to give you a (((hug))))

Damn..you are a good man

I read your story. I was speechless and in utter awe. I am amazed at how much patience you have with your wife and life in general. How is it possible?

Wish you the best. You truly are in my prayers.

Oh the roads we take - I dated a man in college 50 years ago who was just not a good person in addition to being a cheater. But I thought I "had" to marry him. So I did. Such a big mistake.

I have wondered at times what if I'd dated and fallen in love with a decent man? I have so many friends who have had a wonderful life with a decent partner for these 50 years. Why couldn't it have been me?

But I've had a great life even with the infidelity crud. And I now have a wonderful DH who is so great. It all worked out in the end.

..thanks everyone for the feedback, good wishes, hugs and prayers. I appreciate your input.

@ Want2BHA ? Why I want to go first!

At my age (70)I don't see myself finding another woman with whom to share my fortune!

I'd want it to go to my kids without the complications of another woman who might want to lay claim to it all, along with the lawyers who would get involved. Lawyers are NOT my favorite people, you may have guessed.

I don't like sleeping alone and a dog ain't going to cut it.

My death will at least bring me peace...finally.

smy

(((somanyyears)))

Sending you strength.

I met my H 46 years ago in HS as well...

It's a long time ago and a lot of history.

I hope you enjoy your " locker" adventure...

memory lane is bittersweet ...

I wish you peace of mind and strength

(((smy)))

Just wanted to give you a cyber hug. Wishing you peace.

Btw- since you're so sure you're passing soon, what do I need to do to convince you to jave your tombstone read 'killed by NTV's fart' ?

Would you mind terribly if I replaced whatever your family has planned for it after the fact?

Neat, smy. Sometimes corny is best.

Hey there Somanyyears.

I hope Monday will be all you want it to be and that you can at least get some healing from it.

Monday 11th December will be my 41st anniversary of the day we met.

Still struggling but I am moving on - at my own speed.

Best wished to you.

[This message edited by iamanidiot at 2:12 AM, December 4th (Monday)]

I read your profile, you talk of pain, the elusiveness of happiness in your life and taking delight in the death of another person and in the same breath you speak of God. I am sorry your life has been turned upside down, I felt the same way about my wife’s OM, I am religious as well, but the veil of hatred was pulled over my eyes and I had a similar reaction. A death threat was administered.

Get rid of your hatred, he was obviously troubled, no excuse, I’m not trying to excuse anything he did, but I am asking you to soften your heart…forgive him, forgive your wife, and most of all…forgive yourself! We all feel stupid, I felt like a fool for attempting to repair our relationship, for working so hard and living with everything that goes along with it. I forgave the guy, not to his face, but it helped me to move on and I’d encourage you to find a way to do that (therapy etc.). If you’re going to work it out, trust in God, employ Jesus’s edict of love one another and forgiveness…give it to Him! What does your pastor say?

..Holy Crap, there are a lot of us old folks on here!!

Thanks everyone.. we had a great experience on this milestone day.

The High School Admin. lit up their big electronic sign out front, congratulating us. It said we met 50 years ago Dec.4,1967. We were both surprised and delighted by their efforts.

We were warmly welcomed at the office and allowed to wander thru the halls for our own tour. We even went to the caff. to see if the meatloaf was on the menu!

We thanked them all again at the office and the Principal came out to see us off.

When we got home, we sent them a few pics from then and now. The secretary told us they want to use them in this year's YEARBOOK edition.. I have to wonder what caption they will write underneath??

Let the next 50 years begin...

smy

What actions has she taken to help heal you for the 18 year affair?

Does she know how you still hurt?

Harry,

..what actions would you think fits the bill?

and, yes, she still knows I hurt.

ayoung73,

..I have zero sympathy for OM. He got the full measure of God's wrath. Gives me even more reasons to believe in "Revenge is Mine", sayeth the Lord.

I'm not going to argue with the Man over His timing. You believe in God... do you believe in ghosts?

I do now!! How else can you explain the ghost of the OM coming to me... 22 years later, 3 years 'after' he died, to tell me I didn't know the whole truth about the A??

In your case, I hope the death threat you made didn't result in trouble with the law.

AS for what my pastor says, he doesn't. He's the new guy and doesn't know, nor are we about to tell him this far down the road.

..and I'm totally OK with the Cheshire grin that spreads across my face when I think of the OM and the consequences he reaped.

..his birthday is the thirteenth. Might be time for a visit to the grave. Grass needs 'watering'..

smy

We have different stories but the result is pretty much the same. Decades wishing I never met the fucking bitch...