SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I want to go to a therapist- for me. Not couples therapy, not to work on my marriage. I personally feel like I need to work on myself, I get angry at my kids, maybe because I'm unhappy over all. I want to work on my own parenting skills, my addiction to food, stuff like that. I want to be a better person.

Do you see a psychologist? A licensed marriage and family counselor?

I see a psychologist for talking and a psychiatrist for meds.

I also attend a 12 step group for food addiction.

I also attend a divorce support group.

Mine is a just licensed counselor, not psychologist.

I was connected to her through a local behavioral health system.

I see a counselor who is both an LMFC and a retired pastor. His training is in Gottman-style therapy. I have found over the years that I prefer those folks (even in IC) who are Gottman trained.

I'm seeing a Psychiatrist primarily right now, which these guys seem more to be in&out within 10 minutes and a new prescription in your hand. BUT, I do find that that quick 10 minutes every month or so seems to give me that safe space for venting.

I have seen a few therapists, and currently just in-between ones. I like the hour sessions definitely, and i'm always looking forward to next week when I get that good listener. I like the advice and feedback from an outsiders point of view.

CSAT therapist specializing in trauma and infidelity. Saved my sanity!

My wife is a veteran and through the VA we both can see VA counselors. Mine is a MSW, but licensed in EMDR and PTSD training, as most of her clients are vets. She is better than any other counselors or therapists I have ever been to.

I stopped IC about 3 months ago as I feel that the things she is able to focus on are not relevant anymore. She suggested I attend a truly specialized and rated program for my Burn Out. I will do that as soon as possible.

MC is every week at the moment.

Support Group for parents with kids on the spectrum. That I will try out today. I feel like I badly need this support as I feel isolated and uninformed despite me reading up on it.

I once went to some sort of therapist for issues with food addiction. When I saw she weighed about 400 lbs herself, I absolutely never went back. I am not judging her for having a weight problem, but yes I do judge people who pretend they know what they are talking about and can help you when it is SO OBVIOUS they don't know how to help themselves with the same problems.

As far as my food addiction, I struggled through on my own but came to a full realization that I would have to live with preplanned controlled portions and calories the rest of my life if I wanted to be free of food obsession and also be at a normal weight. I am a Weight Watchers Life member but I don't think it matters what program you follow as much as the very deep realization this is "forever" not for a few weeks until I reach a goal, or until I have a bad day and I just have to overeat to cope. I have been maintaining an 80+ pound loss for many many years.

Like so many experiences in my life, the overweight psychiatrist was one more example in my head that even when their own problems are not so obvious, it is just as likely as not the therapist has similar problems and cannot solve them for him or herself, let alone others. I have had other bad experiences with them. My XH was some sort of sex addict who had been with more prostitutes than he could ever hope to count. After one session, he came home and told me the therapist told him to first see whether I might be agreeable to an open marriage! Obviously, he never went back.

My DS hated school and because of some issues that really elevated when he was 15, I took him to a therapist. They tried to put him on meds for depression. The shrink said, "It will make you feel better." He was a bit of a smart alec and said, "So will smoking pot so should I do that?" This was around 2004 and there was not the talk of it being harmless or legalized then and this shrink was in the mindset of that was a horrible illegal drug that would lead to other drugs, but ADs are fine (I personally believe ADS are highly over prescribed and that people should find more natural ways to "feel better" than taking concoctions of chemicals that alter mental states, and do all sorts of other potentially harmful things to your body but hey you "feel better" so it is fine. I don't think they are better for you than pot. DS's sense of humor flew right over her head and she went on and on about how bad pot and "drugs" are for you.

Then the psychologist who would not be directly prescribing the drugs called me to talk about reconsidering having him work with the drug prescribing one. He told me DS is depressed and it causes him to do poorly and be unhappy in school. I told him DS was the happiest kid you would ever see on weekends and vacations when there is no school and nobody is talking about school. Of course I'm just a mom and educator, what do I know? So no, he didn't go back to the shrinks either. They were worthless, I'm sorry to say. I homeschooled him the next year, no more depression! Wow! Maybe that would be a solution for some but not everyone in the circumstance. Even so, the "problem" they should have worked on was helping him learn to cope better and perform better with public school expectations, get along better with kids, etc. It never occurred to them to look for the actual problem and work on it. Just assume "depression" and meds.

When my H cheated on me and my step-DD died in 2006, yes I went to see a therapist and she was okay. I went to her more as "paid friend" to confide in, somebody who did not know my H, much the way I used this forum. Not to give me advice or tell me what to do, just to talk to. If she "advised" me what to do, I would not have kept going back. I've mentioned it here several times over the years, I don't take advice and I rarely give advice. I like to hear others' experiences and share my own. I learn from that and it helps me make decisions, but no, I don't want direct advice.

Now I'll get off that soapbox for a bit and say that you might find one who could help with the parenting skills issues because I think that is an issue that is better defined and more likely treatable through following a plan that a family therapist might recommend. Good luck!

I have seen them all (IC, MC, Pyschologist etc) BUT hands down the absolute most PHENOMENAL is my EMDR therapist who specializes in PTSD and Trauma with the use of EMDR, neurofeedback and accupuncture !!

[This message edited by LuvsMeLuvsMeNot at 12:18 PM, January 14th (Sunday)]

I saw a PhD level psychologist who specializes in trauma. I did a lot of research, and she was on my list. When a doctor I asked recommended her, he sort of finalized my decision.

With trauma, brain function literally changes. The activity in the orbitofrontal cortex (responsible primarily for decision-making and emotional responses), in particular, is profoundly impacted. I wanted tools to cope with this, tools that extended beyond talking. I chose someone who uses things like biofeedback, neurofeedback, and EMDR.

I started feeling better with the first visit. The combo of concrete techniques and her manner were ideal for me.

I saw a psychologist and he was excellent. We hit it off and he was wonderful for me.

My H saw someone different and he was just not for me. He was into that “love language” crap and when my H tried that stuff I would get upset. I felt like my H should know the core me after 30 years.

He did nothing for our M. Do my H stopped going.

I felt like my psychologist just got it right away and he was in sync with me.

Maybe he would have been the right one for your WS but I can understand why it wold have been wrong for you if he still went there.

I have seen an alternative therapist that taught me how to do EFT..emotional freedom tapping. I have been amazed at how well it has worked

I've been to 3 psychologists. The first was good, the second crap and the one I'm going to now is excellent. I'm kind of an education snob. I was looking for PhD education. I've not been to an MC. The first counsellor I had does mostly MC and said he didn't think I needed MC. I agreed that I didn't then but, if we were able to attempt R, would need it later.

I've also attended BAN support groups and did Divorce Care last fall. All of these are 100 miles away from my ranch. They were beneficial.

Like was said by several above, I looked for a therapist with expertise in PTSD, EMDR, Infidelity and was a Christian. I self diagnosed PTSD as a possibility for me. It's now confirmed. I'm very excited about treatment. Talk therapy now to determine hot spots followed by CBT and EMDR. Other therapies will be used as determined. All treatments are discussed with me and need my approval before taking them on.

I do 2 hour sessions ($200/hr) because I drive 4 hours to do the 2 hour sessions. I'm good with that and also feel I get more out of the 2 hour sessions and the time goes by really fast.

I think my current counsellor can assist healing and/or growth in the areas you mentioned as well as sleep problems and other personal issues.

I only see psychologists or counselors. I find psychiatrists have little to no time for talk, just want to prescribe meds. To each their own but for me, psych meds aren't going to solve my problems, just numb my unhappiness with my current circumstances. Counselors are more willing to listen and coach you to be proactive. But I prefer older, experienced counselors or psychologists because they know what they're doing better than say young interns.