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I think I'm becoming a Red Pill Male

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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 5:25 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

Heartiste's 16 Commandments of Poon

Head games, we all love that.

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 8084829
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 Randy1133 (original poster member #54958) posted at 5:27 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

I've read the 16 points myself Randy. Do you really think all relationships have a shelf life? Eventually, your woman will cheat because you're not alpha enough, you're not beta enough, you didn't pass a shit test, or you dropped the ball on a comfort test? Or, eventually some Chad will come along and she'll hamster away and disregard you without a second thought? AWALT and hypergamy make LTRs impossible, why bother? Are you prepared to drop your woman in an instant if she disrespects you in any way?

My personal belief is that a relationship will last as long as two people want it to even if they are completely miserable together. As far as infidelity goes, you can't always stop it. But I've learned from my previous marriage, there are ways to minimize risk and damage should it occur.

How to Minimize Cheating Women:

1. Choose a virtuous woman. One that hasn't slept around and doesn't flirt or look for other males attention.

2. Don't put her on some pedastal, just treat her like your equal mate, a complement to yourself.

3. Wear the pants in the relationship and don't back down on your beliefs just because it makes things go smoother, eg Happy Wife, happy wife. This doesn't mean be a controlling asshole, but stick to your guns.

None of this will stop infidelity, but I think it minimizes it.

How to Minimize Damage:

1. Don't get to invested meaning avoid Marriage and Children. Of course if you want that, thats fine, but your damage is going to be really bad should shit hit the fan.

Of course, if you have already married and had the children, its too late. But after divorce, it a good way to avoid 'zeroing out'.

JMO.

Dday: May/Aug 2016
Divorced
'Even in a toothache there is enjoyment'- Dostoyevsky

posts: 2492   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2016
id 8084830
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 5:41 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

How to Minimize Cheating Women:

1. Choose a virtuous woman. One that hasn't slept around and doesn't flirt or look for other males attention.

2. Don't put her on some pedastal, just treat her like your equal mate, a complement to yourself.

3. Wear the pants in the relationship and don't back down on your beliefs just because it makes things go smoother, eg Happy Wife, happy wife. This doesn't mean be a controlling asshole, but stick to your guns.

Where is the rest of this, on how to minimize cheating men, that should go along with this article?

Would you care to suggest some advice to us womenz

flirt or look for other womens attention (have a woman waiting in the wings).

Wait, lol - -that was suggested for men in the 16 ways to get Poon.

this stuff is just cracking me up.

[This message edited by shiloe at 11:47 AM, February 2nd (Friday)]

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 8084841
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sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 5:44 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

"Wear the pants in the relationship "

oh my goodness, hold me back, you must be such an awesome catch!

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 8084844
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 Randy1133 (original poster member #54958) posted at 5:48 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

I mean, I get keeping tension in a relationship, but what you are advocating (then conveniently saying that you aren't advocating) is abhorrent behavior.

I never advocated it. I just mentioned it because well this is a thread about RPM and as such, their beliefs. A lot was being said about how they just use women and discard them, so I thought I'd share something about how they treat LTR's as well, since RIO also brought this up earlier. I don't support a lot in it, but I do find it interesting. I sometimes read Red Pill reddit and laugh my ass off at the stories there. Doesn't mean I go out and practice it. Maybe I'm a bad person or have a warped sense of humor. I guess you can be the judge.

I get this thread doesn't make me very popular here. But ignoring shit won't make it go away. This is a still a thing and it has ties into infidelity.

But I guess we can just keep giving each other virtual hugs and pats on the back. If you don't want to delve deeper into modern society.

Dday: May/Aug 2016
Divorced
'Even in a toothache there is enjoyment'- Dostoyevsky

posts: 2492   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2016
id 8084850
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 5:49 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

I try my best not to wear pants for um... oh!! metaphorical pants. Nevermind.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13534   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8084851
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 5:50 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

1. Don't get to invested meaning avoid Marriage and Children

Now I am confused. I thought successful men had lots of children?

what am I missing? Just have the kids but not the marriage?

[This message edited by shiloe at 11:51 AM, February 2nd (Friday)]

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 8084853
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 5:54 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

what am I missing? Just have the kids but not the marriage?

Randy is not advocating the rp tenants, he's bringing them up for discussion so that he can see which ones have merit and which ones don't.

The input from women posters here is valuable in that regard.

He's also discussing his own personal modus operandi now that he's not married.

It's important here to differentiate between what his current personal relationship ideology is and that of the red pill stuff he is exploring.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13534   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8084861
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 Randy1133 (original poster member #54958) posted at 5:58 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

Where is the rest of this, on how to minimize cheating men, that should go along with this article?

That is my beliefs I live by. Since I'm not a woman, I have no fucking clue how to pick a male mate that won't cheat. I'm guessing you stay away from alpha type and get a good beta you can boss around.

Dday: May/Aug 2016
Divorced
'Even in a toothache there is enjoyment'- Dostoyevsky

posts: 2492   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2016
id 8084868
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 6:01 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

If you don't want to delve deeper into modern society

Modern and history, you can't have on with out the other.

Randy, Look back at the beginning of this, page one, I tried to be positive and compliment you-

I told you "You are better than this".

All of us betrayed are angry, hurt, resentful, afraid, mistrustful, -but there are still universal truths out there, about love, vulnerability, respect and honesty and integrity that still apply. Treating all people with dignity.

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 8084870
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PlanC ( member #47500) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

This page is epic.

But it raises an interesting question: what advice would men give women to identify and avoid womanizers and cheaters?

I think early tells would be a high number of sexual partners, catching them in any form of lie or deception, or an overly glib guy who compliments you while creating an impression that he is higher social status.

BS 50; xWW. 4 children.
DD 1: April 2013, confessed ONS June 2012
DD 2: March 2014, confessed affair August 2012 through March 2013
DD 3: October 2015, involuntarily confessed 5 additional ONS starting August 2014 through November 2014 (manic)

posts: 2202   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015
id 8084872
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 6:04 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

“real man” and other shaming phrases are useful if the definitions align with usefull traits. A real man works. A real man takes care of his children. A real man does not cheat on or abandon a wife who sacrificed her career and youth to bear his children.

Thank you PlanC as when I thanked the men here for being the "real men" this is what I meant. I did not mean it to be a "shaming phrase" that seems to be, to some, the equivalence of calling men sluts, boys, or some generalized list that suits the person using the phrase or whatever. Many use the phrase "real men" without the connotation that some want to bestow upon it. Oftentimes you can look at the context of how the phrase was used and know that it was used innocently and wasn't used in a shaming way but in an appreciative way.

Is the phrase "real women" a shaming phrase?

eta: to fix word and to finish clarifying my thoughts

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:26 PM, February 2nd (Friday)]

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

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id 8084874
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kpstartingover ( member #47854) posted at 6:15 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

My XH really got into Red Pill and the seduction movement starting in 2005 so it's funny to me that everyone is just discovering it.

This thread should be required reading for everyone in the New Beginnings forum.

But it raises an interesting question: what advice would men give women to identify and avoid womanizers and cheaters?

I think early tells would be a high number of sexual partners, catching them in any form of lie or deception, or an overly glib guy who compliments you while creating an impression that he is higher social status.

There are Red Pill Women sites and forums dedicated to this very topic.

posts: 744   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2015
id 8084883
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Rideitout ( member #58849) posted at 6:21 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

But it raises an interesting question: what advice would men give women to identify and avoid womanizers and cheaters?

I have no idea how to avoid cheating men, but I can tell you how to avoid womanizers; don't think you're going to change someone, it's not a challenge and you probably won't.

I was never overly "sly" about what I was doing. I'd deflect questions endlessly, slide the topics around, make sure my logistics were good if I was out for a ONS. All these are big red flags. If a guy is negging you, or using push-pull, it's likely he learned that somewhere. Guys who are really well dressed, guys who are "circulating" the room and always smiling. All things we learn from the PUA traits. Guys who endlessly compliment you, talk about how they feel all the time, those were the traits of my W's AP, a serial AP.

If a guy can't be locked down, you have no idea what he's doing or who he's dating, you know you're one of many (as every AP knows if their AP is married) all really good tells for a player.

Sadly, probably the quickest tell, do you find yourself really interested in a guy you just met? It could very well be because he was using those tricks to help try to make you feel that way. The guy who's your friend, and has been for years; he's very likely not a womanizer because any with any training in this at all knows you don't keep women as friends because it's very unlikely to lead to sex.

As I keep typing, I realize this isn't nearly as helpful as I thought it would be. I guess the problem is, not only do players know how to get you in bed quickly, they also know how to hide well. It's hard to pin anything down. You could read the "handbooks" and try to memorize the lines, if you hear them, yeah, there's a good chance the guy saying it read the books too and is trying for the fast score.

I guess the question I'd ask, do women really not know when they are dealing with a player? I kind of always thought it was a silly dance we did, you know I'm a player and I know you want to have a relationship, but we'll both pretend like it's not true, I'm a nice guy and you're out for a ONS and don't ever want to see me again. The thing about it, it was so "transparent" to me, it was so easy to see through, but, it was also really effective, at least compared to "being me", so I adopted it as my persona when dealing with women. But I thought we all kind of knew the score going in, just like I thought most AP's knew the score on the way in; this is for sex and "fake feelings", not for anything beyond that. I was really wrong on the last one, both in my W's A and in the stories I read here. I'm beginning to suspect I was wrong in the first one too.

posts: 3289   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2017
id 8084890
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stayedforthekids ( member #45706) posted at 6:23 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

My personal belief is that a relationship will last as long as two people want it to even if they are completely miserable together. As far as infidelity goes, you can't always stop it. But I've learned from my previous marriage, there are ways to minimize risk and damage should it occur.

How to Minimize Cheating Women:

1. Choose a virtuous woman. One that hasn't slept around and doesn't flirt or look for other males attention.

2. Don't put her on some pedastal, just treat her like your equal mate, a complement to yourself.

3. Wear the pants in the relationship and don't back down on your beliefs just because it makes things go smoother, eg Happy Wife, happy wife. This doesn't mean be a controlling asshole, but stick to your guns.

None of this will stop infidelity, but I think it minimizes it.

How to Minimize Damage:

1. Don't get to invested meaning avoid Marriage and Children. Of course if you want that, thats fine, but your damage is going to be really bad should shit hit the fan.

Of course, if you have already married and had the children, its too late. But after divorce, it a good way to avoid 'zeroing out'.

JMO.

FWIW, I agree with this. Except it just takes one person to opt out of the marriage.

I get where you're coming from now.

Madhatter

posts: 1364   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: TX
id 8084892
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PlanC ( member #47500) posted at 6:33 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

I think men are bad at spotting shifty women, and women are bad at spotting shifty men, but each is good at spotting the cads within their own gender.

Just one of the ironies of life...

BS 50; xWW. 4 children.
DD 1: April 2013, confessed ONS June 2012
DD 2: March 2014, confessed affair August 2012 through March 2013
DD 3: October 2015, involuntarily confessed 5 additional ONS starting August 2014 through November 2014 (manic)

posts: 2202   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015
id 8084906
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xhz700 ( member #44394) posted at 6:58 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

oh my goodness, hold me back, you must be such an awesome catch!

At 42 and just about to reenter the dating pool, I count myself pretty fortunate that these are some of the guys that I am competing with.

Behold! The field in which I grow my fucks.

Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren.

posts: 1586   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014
id 8084935
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PlanC ( member #47500) posted at 7:38 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

You’re just lucky that NotTheVictim and I are not entering the dating pool to compete with you, because we are so far beyond Alpha that we are widely known as Omega men.

BS 50; xWW. 4 children.
DD 1: April 2013, confessed ONS June 2012
DD 2: March 2014, confessed affair August 2012 through March 2013
DD 3: October 2015, involuntarily confessed 5 additional ONS starting August 2014 through November 2014 (manic)

posts: 2202   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015
id 8084971
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xhz700 ( member #44394) posted at 7:46 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

How widely? I should be wary to stay in my place.

Behold! The field in which I grow my fucks.

Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren.

posts: 1586   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014
id 8084980
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 7:50 PM on Friday, February 2nd, 2018

Do women have Greek letter denotations too? If so, I wanna be a Pi female, due to my love of baked goods!

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 8084983
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