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LetItBeMan09 ( member #60937) posted at 4:04 PM on Thursday, March 15th, 2018
Yea....I’m gonna call you out and say that twice with the same person by definition disqualifies it from being labeled as a one night stand. If it happened while you were together and you gloss over it by saying, “my mistake!” then I can see why she has checked out. It doesn’t excuse her for what she’s doing, but you need to own your own shit man. Sounds like the two of you are pretty far off the path. It’s going to be a big mountain to climb and unless you’re willing to be honest about your part of it, like really honest, then it’s impossible. When did your side of things happen and what did you do help make things better? No need to sugar coat it here....
Sarcasm has become my best friend and we have a great time together.
Juanpaolo625 (original poster new member #62950) posted at 7:15 AM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
The 2 times of my "one night stands" occurred during our marriage, 4 to 5 months in between with the same masseuse. That was the time where I was away from my family working in another country for 5 years (10 months abroad and 2 months with them each year). I confessed that it happened on the 4th year but it was never an affair. It was plainly just a very quick sex after the massage. It never happened again and I have deeply
apologized to her about it and showed her my remorse on those incidents. She believes that there is more to it and that I had an affair. I could have done it with aĺl the given opportunities, but I did not engage myself to any possible affairs as it is not my cup of tea. I have even honestly told my wife each time the incident of temptations come along my way. I guaranteed her that I am resisting them as I am faithful to her, except for the 2 one night stands where I confessed to her only when I came back for good. It was my mistake for being too honest to her. After all that is said and done, does she have the right to engage herself to having an affair in the course of our marriage?
[This message edited by Juanpaolo625 at 1:18 AM, March 16th (Friday)]
sandylee ( member #45659) posted at 9:02 AM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
Your wife won't stop cheating on you because she doesn't care about you.
If you are happy to continue in a marriage where you are disrespected, then carry on.
Protect yourself from stds...because she's not using protection with him.
Remember this..
He who cares the least in a relationship holds the most power.
It would do you good to read a book called No more Mr. Nice guy. Google it.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:12 AM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
I think you should text the AP and say “you can have her. She’s all yours”. That should end the A completely.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Juanpaolo625 (original poster new member #62950) posted at 3:24 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
I have just told my wife's parents about her infidelity. They were surprised and couldn't believe it. I showed them the proof and they both empathize with me. They have always been on my side all along our marriage. Friends and family members are always telling her that she is lucky to have me as a loving and caring husband. I still couldn't believe how my wife could not care about me after all the kindness and goodness I have shown her. I admit having moments when we argue and hurting words are thrown at each other but most often than not, she does the cursing and hurting words. Is this all because she is in limbo enjoying the affair and cares less about her surroundings? I believe it is one's choice who to love and care for. I still hope my wife opens her heart and see the blessings around her.
[This message edited by Juanpaolo625 at 9:28 AM, March 16th (Friday)]
WilliamM ( member #60910) posted at 4:03 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
One of the biggest truths I learned from this site is "You have to be willing to lose the marriage to save it". You must get out of infidelity. Take the steps necessary achieve that. If it leads to divorce then you need to be ready and willing to take that step. And she needs to believe that you are more than willing and ready to take that step. Don't offer reconciliation to an unremorseful spouse.
twisted ( member #8873) posted at 5:54 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
Curious as to how your wife will respond to you exposing the affair. Have you told anyone else?
Does she know you have exposed her?
As William said, "Don't offer reconciliation to an unremorseful spouse." Is good advice, you need more than words before you even consider going down that hard road.
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Juanpaolo625 (original poster new member #62950) posted at 10:38 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2018
I have not exposed my wife's affair to anyone else other than her parents. I still want to protect my wife's and our family's privacy. I hope her parents can rechannel her mental state of mind by being more responsible in prioritizing our marriage.
Western ( member #46653) posted at 7:12 PM on Saturday, March 17th, 2018
not exposing for privacy purposes only hurts you, especially if she is still cheating.
You need to stand up for yourself !!
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