SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He gave me a STD

[This message edited by After33years at 10:16 AM, March 21st (Wednesday)]

For me the first the first WGF was when her sister told me that the WGF would be seeing her whilst I was away in the Army, when she was confronted she denied everything then admitted it, attempted R but in the end it was thrown back in my face with accusations,

The second was my WW of 16 yrs she met the guy at a party we went to, I went home early with our children she stayed out till the early hours of the morning. During the next 6 months she would be distant, fell asleep on the sofa, sex was once a month, she would have her phone on silent and always with her. Then on the weekend she would travel 30 minutes to go running and shopping and take 8 hours to get home whilst I studied and looked after the kids. The marriage wasn’t going good and suggested separation and she said no and that we could work it out. I finally found out when I went to pay the phone bill and noticed a number on the bill that was not familiar and was called and texted 1000’s of times. I followed the bills back to just after the party and then called the number an a male answered the phone with his name. When I confronted the WW she denied anything was going on and that he was motivating her on a leadership course she was doing. When I told her that 1000’s of calls and txts weren’t motivation it was more than that. I asked for her phone which she gave me and I saw the msg’s, and she finally admitted it. When I asked for a phone a second time to let stuff stink in and the msgs had gone. So I took her phone and told her I threw it away (I still have the phone 8 yrs later), I also put a keylogger on the computer and was able to see what msg’s she was saying and also the msg’s that the OM was sending her. Well we divorced and the POS OM moved in there with her.

The third we met on a dating app and I kept it on my phone, we were together on and off for 2 years, time to time I would check on the app to see which people were still on there when I was on there, I had deactivated my account but could still see other people. Whilst I was looking at the app, I noticed my GF on there and that her profile had changed. I monitored it for a few days and swa that she was visiting the site daily. I confronted her about what I saw and she admitted that she was on there but only to meet new friends. I believed her as she always told me that she despised anyone that cheated. Well over the Christmas period I had 6 weeks leave and during that time I only saw her for 2 days in 42 days and she always had an excuse about not catching up. At the end I drove to her place and she stayed behind a locked screen door and wouldn’t let me in or come out, it was then I realised that she was seeing someone else behind my back and that I couldn’t work with that.

Currently I suspecting my GF atm of being unfaithful but I haven’t got the evidence yet, I caught her kissing another female passionately on a holiday in Bali and whilst we were having sex she wanted me to bring my friend into the bedroom so she could give him oral sex, she had been drinking and denied this and blamed alcohol for the blackout. When I asked her about having an open relationship she was totally against this and won’t do it. She is now working 3 to 4 hours overtime everyday claiming her work is so busy. Also she gave me her password to her computer and phone so I could put some apps and programs on them and now has changed the passwords.

So my life has been turned upside down several times but as they say, I get knocked down but I get up again, nothing going to get me down.

My wife did traveling medical temp work from time to time. She had just returned from 3 months on the east coast. Within just a few weeks she took a position on the west coast.

She was visiting her parents out of town and asked me to fax and email some things to her temp agency to prep for this job. I was happy to be of any help.

I was looking for an address I needed in the sent files, and that's when I discovered emails that made it clear that she had been having an affair(PA)for what turned out to be the entire 3 months on the east coast.

My wife lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time and became very sexual with me. She also was holding her phone really tightly. I got a weird text from her about it being scary that she was texting 2 people from a place she would be working and was afraid that she would mix stuff up. I responded and got crickets. Her behavior was weird, so I looked at text logs and found a particular number coming up hundreds of times and the texts were going through at times she said her battery was dying. She came home from a trip and I put a new battery in her phone and set it to charging for her. I looked at the texts and saw all I needed to see to prove what my gut was telling me.

Mine was a WSO in a 6-year exclusive relationship where I was also a quasi-stepfather to WSO's young son. WSO was a dancer and kept crazy hours. Late nights of rehearsal and/or performance. Days of auditions. Lots of parties. I often partied with the dancers and musicians. It was a crazy time.

WSO got closer and closer with another person involved with the troupe. I started hearing his name repeatedly and began to suspect an EA. Then one night she just didn't come home. It was a weeknight. I was up the next morning getting myself ready for work, getting her son (by then aged about 9) ready for school, and figuring out my schedule in terms of drop off, work, and pickup.

This was like 29 years ago. Nobody had cell phones, computers, etc. in those days. I literally had no idea where she was, and frankly worried it was a car accident or DUI. Lots of drinking at those parties.

About the time I was ready to leave, she came in looking disheveled. She pulled me into our room: "Butfor, I slept with X last night and I'm leaving you for him. We're done." She was a strong-willed woman. None of her "no's" ever meant "yes."

I was crushed and heartbroken. I sat down and wept. I wept as I dropped her son at school, and went into my office, closed the door, and wept. When I was done weeping, I stared at the wall. The feeling of being alone was so profound.

It only took me a week or so to secure another place to live and move out. I moved so quickly because every day of being in our shared space was a day of pain. She was sleeping on the floor in her son's room, leaving me alone in our room. We didn't have a lot of stuff, but almost every household item we had accumulated (furniture, kitchen stuff, stereo, TV, etc) was stuff we had purchased together. I left it all behind. Brought my clothes and my guitar.

Started all over. Bought a bed and a stereo. Rented a room in a 2-bedroom house already inhabited by another single guy. Picked up the pieces and moved on.

Eventually started dating again, had some single years, and then met and married my wife 23 years and 2 great kids ago. I'm in a much better place.

It did not take very long before I developed a lot of respect for WSO. She had the clit to woman up and rip the band-aid off all at once. She knew it would hurt me, a lot, but she also knew it would hurt worse if she kept me stringing along, or lied to me and deceived me. Actually, as it turned out, X was a pretty casual fling, and she expected it would be. But as mentioned she didn't think it was fair to keep me stringing along. She wanted to set me free.

Because of her son and my relationship with him, we kept in contact. He would stay with me on weekends, sometimes take vacations or go to sports games or concerts.

There were times over the years that she hinted at having a roll in the hay. It was tempting. She is, after all, a dancer, if you get my meaning. But the heart pain that is connected with her acted as a barrier against any amorous feelings.

I'm still in touch with the son, a man in his mid-30's. I occasionally hear from the mom, like a Christmas card or a birthday text.

In hindsight, I have way more respect for my XWSO than for some of the WS's we see on these boards who carry on secret A's for long periods of time, weaving webs of lies and deception, and then only develop remorse after they are caught (which often occurs via sheer happenstance). For me, the worst part of a wayward's betrayal is the dishonesty. I would have a lot of difficulty respecting anybody who exhibited that level of dishonesty, especially toward a person she/he had pledged to love and honor, cherish and obey, until death.

That said, love is amazing stuff. Often, that type of dishonesty is not a function of a flaw in her or his moral fabric but rather some deep hurt or void in the soul. Each situation is different, and the beauty of love is that, for the people involved, it can sometimes enable even the most profoundly wounded betrayed to see beyond his own hurt and into the heart he fell in love with before the betrayal.

[This message edited by Butforthegrace at 10:43 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

Teen got on her father's phone on a challenge. Found all the txts, Fbook messages and photos [yup - some quasi pornographic]. She told me and showed me every screenshot of what she'd seen. My sobbing traumatized young teen daughter. 3 year LTA.

And life hasn't been the same since.

I was Ill and my blood had become toxic. I could function and thought I was doing okay but apparently not. The doctors had told my wife I was dying and unlikely to survive. WW hooked up with an old bf and started off on her year long adventure in adultery. Three years later I was well on the way to full health. My WW gave me her old computer so she could get a new one. I did a recovery and reset on the machine and started clearing unnecessary and old files. I see an odd one and open it. I find 30 pictures that belong on a porn site gallery, three skype masturbation videos and fifteen pages of emails where my WW describes how good a fuck her AP is. She tried to deny it but when I read to her from the emails and described the pictures she came right home. Turns out the AP had died soon after their last wonder fuck. I was supposed to die, he did.

[This message edited by RunningLowNow at 10:07 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

OW texted me....

and lied about the timeline (said had PA while WH and I first dated, first married, but stopped in 1996 when my DD was born bc that was "an ethical" thing for her).

truth? The PA started in 2008 and ended late 2017

Because of her lies (and the fact that he dated her 11 years before he even met me), my entire relationship with WH is tainted with this OW. 27 years - up in smoke.