SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yeah, you’re right, really dumb idea

Thanks

Don't do it.

Its bad on your health. I'd keep them to remind myself why I would not go back to her

really dumb idea

Let's just say...not a good idea. You're not dumb - you're navigating yourself through Hell right now. We're glad you asked for our input!

Well 2018, I did something similar with voice messages she left on WH phone while he was in the hospital recovering from his suicide attempt.

I listened over and over and over again. I thought it would desensitize me, but it didn't help.

So from my own experience, it didn't work.

I’m going to throw out an idea, and yes, I know it sounds dumb, but what do you think about it?

What if I keep watching the videos over and over And over again?

I feel like these things are my Achilles heel. These are what will bring me to my knees!

I tried this route, and it only made it worse.

Please don't do that. You won't get desensitized to it like you are thinking.

Have you looked at The Healing Library yet? The "Articles" and the "BS FAQs" are immensely helpful and insightful. Please spend time reading those.

This trip was a great decision for you. Please keep making good decisions.

Honesty is extremely important to this community. To me, there have been a few times when it was unclear how honest you were being, some posts were contradictory, and I still feel irked from you claiming your friend stole your phone to start a thread. It felt like obvious gaslighting/lying....which I have had my fill of from my XW. Many of us have posted (and deleted) things we are embarrassed about during our time on these forums. They are opportunities to better understand ourselves. Honesty is key. Honesty with yourself is of the utmost importance for healing.

This shit sandwich is awful. I'm so sorry you're here, brother. Don't get stuck in the drama; there is no healing to he found there. Your focus needs to be on yourself. Not your STBXWW, not the other posters in JFO, not the emotions of the people posting in your thread...just you. The motto is to take what you need from here (to help you find healing) and leave the rest.

Check out the "Betrayed Menz" thread in the "I Can Relate" forum. Really good guys in there.

To all The people that attacked me, please use this as a great example of how I can learn from your critique.

I had an idea that I thought was odd, but just might work.

The sensible people here clearly stated that it is among the dumbest ideas in the history of mankind. You have convinced me never to even think of that idea ever again.

Thank you for the common sense 2x4 to the side of the head On this issue.

You're not dumb. There is no textbook provided in grade school that teaches us how to deal with betrayal of this kind. None of us have an innate knowledge of how to deal with infidelity.

You'll have to find your way in the dark like the rest of us. You'll stub your toe and trip several times along the way to healing. It's normal.

Just an update. It is raining, pretty hard at times, but we are having a fantastic time, when outside and running down the various roads, we are searching for puddles to jump into! The need to shut off the air conditioning in some of the rides/attractions.

Lots of laughter.

Her questions are continuing, which is good. Lots of questions of how we were in college, etc.

Continuing to not read any texts or emails. None have come through with key words that would cause me to read them

Hope today is better than yesterday for everyone

I hope you two are having more fun today.

Some BSs visit the scenes of the "crime." Thankfully, I haven't found any pictures. But I did visit the scenes. I discovered the locations were not fun or glamorous. I was not impressed. Then I moved on.

You already have the images in your head. It's best to let them fade.

2018,

You're doing fine--better than most.

Be mindful that an untold number of betrayed men likely found themselves in jail after discovering sex videos of their ww's. The visuals pushed them over the edge.

You're at a theme park.

Have a blast.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 12:16 PM, April 10th (Tuesday)]

I can certainly see the change in you from your first few posts.

You are having a whale of a time in Disney..... it brings out the kid in all of us.

The break and fun will do you the world of good. Don't torture yourself with the videos BTW.

Bump

How’s it going, 2018MLMM? How’s Disney? The other day you went to Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios, what was yesterday, Epcot? Magic Kingdom? What’s on the agenda for today? How’s your daughter? How’s she holding up? When are you heading back home? Have you heard from your in-laws? How is your wife? Do you plan on seeing her when you get back? How about your daughter? Has she spoken to her mom since you guys went on vacation?

Any update?

^^^^Awesome!

I wish posts had a "like" button on them!

It's great to hear that you're having a good time '2018MLMM'. I believe your ideas and actions to be very appropriate given your situation. I hope the best for you through your divorce. Keep doing what you're doing.

^^Awesome!

I wish posts had a "like" button on them!

Me, too

How’s it going, 2018MLMM? How’s Disney? The other day you went to Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios, what was yesterday, Epcot? Magic Kingdom? What’s on the agenda for today? How’s your daughter? How’s she holding up? When are you heading back home? Have you heard from your in-laws? How is your wife? Do you plan on seeing her when you get back? How about your daughter? Has she spoken to her mom since you guys went on vacation?

Any update?

Indeed!

Inquiring minds want to know!

——->......2018?

I'm sure MLMM is taking a much needed hiatus.

2018

You are doing as well as can be expected. Since you appear to have decided that the marriage is over (with good reason), I would like to warn you about being bushwhacked by "firsts"

You may be feeling good and think you have everything under control when you are hit by a "first" and it throws you back into depression or thoughts of how did this happen. Expect them.

First Thanksgiving.

First Christmas.

The two above are really hard. I recommend that you plan something entirely different with the kids. Make new memories to replace the ones you have.

First family event that you attend as a family.

Lots of "firsts" after separation & divorce.

Just be prepared to face them. Your emotions will be in turmoil - no way to avoid it. But realizing that it is coming will help you deal.