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My question is just what the subject line says: do you believe in soul mates?

If you don’t, do you believe there are multiple people out there who could work for you?

If you do, do you believe you have just one?

I believe there are any number of people out there with whom I could be compatible and happy in a relationship.

Cat

There will be eight billion humans on the planet soon. Statistically speaking, no matter how unusual you might be...odds are you have potential to get on extremely well with more than one person.

Also, a soulmate suggests that love doesn't take work. That the connection of love is made of magic. It's an oversimplification.

I understand it's special to think you have one soulmate. If that enriches your love life, then go for it.

However, I lost the person I thought was the one. Is that it then? Nah! I prefer optimism. My faith is in good people, and I have met many of them since I became a BS. It takes time, trust, and openness. Be loyal but don't ruin things for yourself with such thinking if, for whatever reason, things don't work out. Love takes so many forms in this world. It cannot be contained to only one.

[This message edited by litost at 2:15 AM, April 7th (Saturday)]

No, I don't believe in one soulmate.

We evolve so many times in our life that I think different people match us at different stages.

Plus the world is too big to have only one planned partner out there for us.

What about people who truly fall in love more than once in their life?

More people=more opportunities to find true partnership that feels like soul level love.

No to the soul mates. Yes to the multiple people. I'm not looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack with billions of people in this wotld, just someone who's company I enjoy and am happy with.

No. I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe in the .85 that you round up to 1, and I think there are many people who could fit that criteria.

I don't believe in soulmates. I might have in high school. I don't remember. I thought I had a very compatible partner for life that I loved and who I thought loved me back. I was aware that there was a very good possibility that she didn't love me the same as I loved her but love conquers all, doesn't it.

I do think there are many more than just one soulmate out there. If there's an attraction, affection develops, interests coincide then love can develop. Love is a decision. Love takes work and commitment. Love, like a garden, needs to be weeded, fertilized, watered, tended for there to be bounty.

I probably did when I was younger but haven't for a very long time. I too believe there are many people I could be happy/content with.

I.will.survive brings up a great point - I am so different at 50 from what I was at 40, 30, 20. I married ex-asshat when I was 20; if I met him today and he asked me out, I'd run screaming the opposite direction after I kicked him in the shins. What I thought was so wonderful at 20, I find totally repulsive at 50. I guess the trick is to find someone to grow WITH; he obviously wasn't it.

Put me in the "no" column also. I think that we may meet many people in our lives who are good matches for us. People who make us want to be our best selves. People who encourage us to stretch and to grow. I think there are multiple people out there who can encourage our growth, love us for who we are and enhance our lives.

That said, I was single for 5 years after my D. I dated quite a bit, and I was very sad when the relationships I wanted to continue and thought might have a future fizzled out. I think it is possible I would have had a good relationship with one or two men of the men I dated, but I wonder if I would have found the kind of "belonging" I feel with my fiance. He feels like my "perfect" match sometimes, and then I wonder if that's just love chemicals and if the same feeling of belonging together would have happened with another man...

I do. I am married to mine.

Uh, I thought we were soul mates? So yes?

Uh, I thought we were soul mates? So yes?

Oh, we are. Just wondering if you’re the only soul mate for me, or if maybe I could meet a soul mate with a penis as well.

I'm not a big fan of the soul mate thing for a couple reasons.

First, it's a leftover trigger and makes me roll my eyes. It's because I heard something about that whole "she's my soulmate" thingy. Like they were tied together by some cosmic force and didn't have any other choice but to get nekkid together and ruin a bunch of other people's lives because of their soulmatey-ness.

Second, I think it's can be a heavy load to put on someone to call them your soul mate. That one person should fill everything in you.

I tend to believe I'm the one who has the ultimate care of my own soul and spirit.

And even though I choose to share my life exclusively with one partner, at the same time my spirit is also nurtured by other people. My arty side gets shared with other arty friends. No one can replace the connections I have with girlfriends. And then there's that whole Zen thing I have going on with my dog....I dunno, maybe he is sort of a soulmate after all.

No one can replace the connections I have with girlfriends. And then there's that whole Zen thing I have going on with my dog....I dunno, maybe he is sort of a soulmate after

R.E. the girlfriends: I tell my daughter those will be the greatest loves of her life. And I really believe it. My gfs nurture me in ways no male companion has, and that’s not to detract from men. The depth and breadth of my female friendships has literally been a love like no other I’ve ever known.

Also: my dog is totally one of my soul mates.

For the record, I’ve never believed in A soul mate. Until I met Funnlecakes, that is. But seriously, as Whitman once said, “I am large, and I contain multitudes”. Different people in my life have fulfilled different emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs for me and I’m grateful for that.

[This message edited by ADryHeat at 2:03 PM, April 7th (Saturday)]

ADH and funnel - do you two need to be excused to explore your exclusive soulmate thing in private?

(Just watch out for wildbananas - she's running around kicking people in the shins.)

Omg ADH, that was FUNNY

I’m a no on the soul mates but a yes on the love of your life.

And, unicorns. Those are real.

I don’t. I used to think my ex and I were meant to be, but I think there are many people that a person could be compatible and live a happy life with

No to soulmates.

I believe that love is a choice, one that I made very unwisely.

I did in, like, middle school. Now I know that there are 7.3 billion people in the world, a little over half of whom are women. None of them like me very much, mind you, but I imagine there are millions of them I would be perfectly happy spending my life with.

My soulmate is a book. And I'm a fickle bitch. It's whatever one I'm reading at the time.

Getting on to what I assume is the REAL question, no. I do not. Used to. No more. I know that there are a whole bunch of guys (yes, I am straight, so, unless your a big, hunky, obscenely thick book) that I would be very compatible with. For a very long time, if not the rest of my life if MrSkan augered into the long, narrow box-o-death. But soul mate?

So sorry, but no. Just no.