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Home From Deployment to Hell

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Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 11:56 PM on Monday, April 16th, 2018

From laughing and having the time of their lives to crying like little babies.

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2017
id 8143077
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 12:08 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

From laughing and having the time of their lives to crying like little babies.

No shit. Daddy's home, said Barnacle Bill the Sailor...

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8143086
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 12:23 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

If you were to respond to her text messages (and I wouldn't), I'd simply instruct her to comfort her boyfriend, who is crying a like a two-year old before the authorities.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8143096
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SAM25nov2016 ( member #56988) posted at 12:27 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

You are doing well albeit no doubt emotionally and physically exhausted. You just returned from being deployed for over 6 months!!! I can't even imagine.

Please try to relax on your well deserved leave - soak up the sun, enjoy some nice meals, listen to great music and try to laugh. Amy Schmur's new movie is out on Friday - it's probably good for a laugh

Time is on your side now - you truly earned it.

Your integrity and courage gives me hope for mankind. All of your actions to date have been so respectful.

Thank-you

BS - 40s
WH - 40s (coworker - 6mth PA/EA Jun'16-Nov'16)
No kids / Married 13 years (separated -status unknown
Dday- Nov 25, 2016

posts: 158   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2017
id 8143098
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 12:37 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

OK, folks. I did read the texts, the voicemails I just deleted. I treated it as a difficult SigInt (signals intel) & PsyOp exercise.

Here's the transcript of a few:

"Please give me a chance to make this up to you, J. I'm so sorry for everything"

"Can we meet and talk later this week? Or this weekend?"

"I know I can make you want to be with me again. Let's go to ****** on Saturday, remember that trip?"

Later in the day the tone became pretty strident & accusatory.

"Did you have to involve the Navy in this? His wife is divorcing him and going back to Texas with their kids"

I actually responded to that one. I know I probably shouldn't have. But I did.

"Hey, that's great! Now you two can be together when he gets out of the Brig" He won't go to actual prison over this, probably to a Corrective Custody facility, which is the name for the Brig. It's still jail to use the word most here will grasp.

I'll be reconsidering the house thing. at least putting some ironclad restrictions (such as revocation & immediate sale in the event of cohabitation with the POS)

More of "A's" texts:

"This was all my fault, no one else's. You're destroying him."

"Baby let's just keep this between us OK? Please?"

"I know you're getting my messages and my voicemails. Please please please answer me, J"

I responded one more time: "A" stop contacting me. What you want is never going to happen. Our marriage is over. Get an attorney, all our comm needs to be through legal counsel from this point forward. NO MORE"

Anyway, tomorrow I'm putting a stop to this nonsense. Where the hell did "A" go? This woman is no one I know.

Of course there were more texts after my last one but I've lost the stomach for this. I'll be canking the family plan on our cells tomorrow and blocking her number.

Come on, Wednesday.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 9:51 AM, April 25th (Wednesday)]

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8143101
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 12:43 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

She's defending the OM?

Well I'll be damn.

She's off her rocker.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8143104
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 12:45 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Typical cheater's handbook ploy - first they try to get you back with sweetness, then when that doesn't work they make you out to be the bad guy and try to guilt you into doing what they want.

Geeeeez, couldn't she be a *little* more creative??

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8143106
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Dyokemm ( member #40254) posted at 12:53 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

You have handled all this with determination and nerves of steel LtCdr......great job.

And your thread is a great example for others on a debate that has often sprung up in threads here about whether reporting an AP in the military will ever produce results.

As I have often told others, based on my stint after Canoe U, it will always vary in outcome.....

Sometimes, unfortunately, the AP’s command does very little.....either there is too little evidence or it is deemed to not have an impact on unit order, or the CO simply isn’t interested in creating a scandal....

And then there are cases like yours.....where a veritable ton of bricks gets dropped on the POS’s head.

The only real definite conclusion to draw from it is this.....

If you decide to fuck with someone else’s spouse while in the military, you MIGHT get a slight slap on the wrist and told to knock it off if you are caught out.....

Or it MIGHT end up being the most disastrous decision you have ever made in life, with legal repercussions that no civilian AP would ever face.

A rational person would conclude that the payoff would never be worth the potential risk.....

Of course, AP’s are illogical dumbasses.....

But your story is proof to any BS whose WS has a military AP and wants to deliver some consequences or at least end the A....

EXPOSE to the command and JAG......there is literally no downside for a BS because the WORST that could happen is the AP is simply ordered to go no contact.....

But potentially, the AP could end up wishing they had never dared to screw with the BS and their life/family.

Keep going strong......

And hope you make it out soon to enjoy the great weather we are having here in the San Diego area!

posts: 440   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2013
id 8143111
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k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Typical Cheater response.

They never think their actions will have consequences.

k9

BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

posts: 7747   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2006   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 8143112
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Fenderguy ( member #61994) posted at 12:57 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Bravo!! The best revenge you can give her is to just ghost her and go on to live a good life. OM destroyed his own career when he destroyed your marriage, to hell with both of them. Maybe they will get together, they sure as fuck deserve one another. Just don't let it happen in YOUR house. I'd sell that house ASAP, because A: You run the risk of them shacking up in your house on a permanent basis, and B: It'll be one less thing you and your X have to talk about.

posts: 493   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2017
id 8143114
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HopeFloats2272 ( member #39264) posted at 12:59 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

"Please, lets work this out but also have mercy on the guy that fucked me in our bed." WTF?

If you would have shown an ounce of interest in working things out I guarantee she would have felt like she was now running the show. She would start making demands and that xcuses and blame-shifting etc. You avoided all of that. Bravo! I know it hurts though and I'm sorry for that.

BS- 40, WH 38Married 13yrs, 2 Sweet Boys-9 & 13DD#1: 1/10/12- 6mo EADD#2: 8/23/12-1PA, 2ONS in 2010 and 1EA/PA in 2004DD#3: 9/10/12- ONS w/friend in 2010Lots of other crap and TT Divorcing....finally.

posts: 112   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2013   ·   location: Maryland
id 8143116
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 1:00 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

POSOM begged your wife to get you to back off.

Separately, don't be surprised if he winds up staying in your house--he has nothing to lose.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8143119
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 1:00 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

I just had a brief and to the point conversation with my stbxFIL. "A" is there right now, "she seems unbalanced" was his description. I was direct about what I expect, no more contact, no more texts, no more calls, period. All contact through my attorney. He says she flat refuses to talk about a divorce, that she doesn't want a divorce. Eye Yi Yi. Who is this person inhabiting my wife's body? I'll make time to talk to my attorney tomorrow, I need to learn how this can be handled if she just refuses to participate.

I think I'd be willing to deploy again to get away from this...

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 12:08 AM, April 17th (Tuesday)]

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8143120
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Sanibelredfish ( member #56748) posted at 1:01 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

"Baby let's just keep this between us OK? Please?"

Oh, that is rich! Had she kept her games of hide the sausage between you and her no one would be in this shit storm.

Something about her texts tells me this may not have been her first rodeo...

posts: 801   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2017   ·   location: Midwest
id 8143121
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 1:02 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

She is admitting contact with POSOM. Then continued contact with POSOM begging for him.

Very narcissistic. Do not put anything about the crying. Don’t tilt your hand. Block her number.

She thought she could have her cake and eat it to. She did not get the message Saturday. Be aware of that. This is all on her. Continue to protect yourself. She will make herself known physically if she can find you.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8143123
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Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 1:06 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

"I know I can MAKE you want to be with me again"?

Wow.....just wow!!!!

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2017
id 8143127
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 1:11 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Yep, she's off her rocker.

Shock and awe is a bitch.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8143132
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 1:14 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

That’s the point she became a person you do not know. If she is imbalanced the next step will to use that to get you to see her.

Did you discuss with the Chaplin what to do if she self harms or attempts sucide? Do you want involvement? As far gone as you are it could be beneficial without her present to tell her doctors your done. She went to far.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8143134
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Sanibelredfish ( member #56748) posted at 1:16 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

"I know I can MAKE you want to be with me again"?

Apparently, she thinks she has a magical cooch.

posts: 801   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2017   ·   location: Midwest
id 8143136
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Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 1:17 AM on Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Wow! She is delusional. Your lawyer should be able to move the divorce along quickly with the abundance of proof you have provided.

I agree with the advice of selling that house ASAP. While your offer was generous she may just sneak the sniveling coward back inside to help him deal with the tremendous injustice he has been served.

On a strange positive note, tales of this will travel across the base and beyond hopefully letting others know to never fool around with deployed (or not) military personnel.

posts: 1094   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2014   ·   location: Hawaii
id 8143137
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