Like so many, I have been dealt the hand of being cheated on by my spouse. Heres my story:
We grew up around the corner from each other. I always had a crush on him but being he was 3 years older, when your 12 thats a big deal for a 15 year old. So it was always friendly, hi how ya doing? But he grew up, I grew up, he had 2 kids with his then wife and I had my son at 20. Had not seen each other in years but by chance I happened to start working at the same place he was, had no idea we even worked together until spotting each other on a break. We chatted, friendly and from then on a friendship bloomed. By another chance, found out not soon after that we actually lived in the same apartment complex after spotting each other walking outside. (How bizarre!) We had absolutely no idea. But we began to connect (strictly friendly). A few months later he began expressing how unhappy he was with his marriage. He would ask me for advice on how to make things work, what things his wife may like. I gave my opinion, didnt want to see him unhappy. But his feelings for me became more apparent in our conversations. I would always brush it off or joke about it because he was a married man and I would not be the one to break up a home, especially when kids are involved. So I never led him on to believe it was anything more than platonic. But feelings did begin to grow, I began to fall in love with someone who had become my best friend, and he expressed the same. By this time, he was telling me his marriage is on the rocks, he cant continue to deal with the infidelity and unhappiness they were going through. I encouraged him to do what he thought would be best for his kids. But that turned into him having an affair with me. I felt horrible doing it to another woman, but HE was my friend right and I was listening to every bad thing he told me she had done, was doing so a part of me didnt care, she deserved it right? Well the affair didnt last long because about 2 months after it began, he decided to leave her, for me, and she took the kids and moved to another state. He was hurt about losing his kids but he said that 10 year up and down relationship needed to end. So I took it as it was and we began a life together. We had his kids staying with us for months at a time, getting to know my son and each other. Everything was going fine. But then his ex became the scorned ex wife hell bent on making us miserable and using the kids to do it. I understood. It was rough but we didnt let her win. He got a better paying job, we vacationed in miami, new orleans, I showed him a side of life he said he had never saw and was never given the chance to. That made me happy to bring that light to his life. Of course we had our fights and arguments but always pushed through. 3 years later he asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! All I wanted was a real family for my son. And when his kids were with us, I was mom, they would ask me to do everything for them, even slipping up sometimes and calling me mommy (which we never encouraged). And to my son he was dad. Yes his biological father is very active but my spouse came into his life before he was 2 so to him that is his other dad. Everything seemed to be going fine, planned our dream wedding for April 2017, over 200 people attended, we were on cloud nine, so I thought. Taking our kids to Disneyworld for Christmas would be our last happy moments together. January comes and were excited making plans for our first anniversary, cruise, beach, we couldnt make up our mind. And the next months, he wasnt himself. Arguments were back to back, weeks without speaking, divorce was in the talks. He told me he was unhappy, said its my attitude, stubborness, a lot of blame on me. Fire flew from me and he was feeling my wrath. I talked to his mom, my mom and finally she reasoned with me about he fact he was going through a lot. He was in a custody battle for his kids which I was actually paying for and finances had changed since child support started coming out only a few months earlier. She made me understand how he as a man feels. So that night when he got off work at 3am (2nd shift 5-2am) I went in the other room where he was sleeping (we hadnt slept in the same room in weeks) and just hugged him. He cried in my arms, never had he done that before. Thats when I knew something serious was wrong. But I never spoke, until he started kissing me. Thats when i asked him if he was sure, he said yes, and we made love for the first time in weeks, and slept in the same bed. Things became ok, we talked, he told me he was depressed, having anxiety and stressed. But that we would work through it together. A few days later things became eerie, he became distant, and finally told me through a text message he had a one night stand. Heart stopped. I couldnt believe it was happening to me. Days went by and he avoided me, until my mom got through to him that he had to explain to me. So he found me and more crying, saying hes messed up, he cant be with me, i deserve better. Ok. So by this time my period was weeks late. He tried to walk out with no explanation and thats when i dropped the pregnant bomb. He cried hysterically. After a conversation of some minutes, we concluded we would get him help, therapy because he insisted he just needed help. Days were going by, he was being affectionate, acting excited about the baby then it all changed again. More distance. Weeks went by and we werent communicating and he wasnt sleeping and leaving house early, coming home late. Enough. I asked him what is it we are doing, do you want to even be here? He told me no. Heart dropped..... Said he was there for the baby amd because its his responsibility and he doesnt want me stuck with all the bills. Im not staying with someone that doesnt want to be with me. Leave. So after a week or so he decided to stay with his mom but woke me up at 3am expressing apologies and how he wanted to work it out. The next day, through a text message he told me how he had been having an affair with an older woman from work. Hes 29, shes late 30s early 40s with an 18 year old. We were at her house for a new year party! So now i feel stupid because i suspected his one night stand story was a lie from the beginning. He told me he wanted to work it out. So i went to a therapy session with him, did absolutely nothing. And afterward he told me his mind was made up. He was done with our marriage. He moved out, got his own apartment and has not helped me with a bill nor our house rent since February. And is also STILL involved with that woman. So now im pregnant with no support from the man i gave my all to thats trying to deal and its way too hard. I told him there will be no contact and i do not want him at my dr appointments. Its negative energy and i need to be healthy for my 6 year old and growing baby in my tummy. Karma is a real b*****. Maybe i deserved this is some way but it doesnt make it any easier. He told me this was different and i believed him and now im alone. I now attend my own therapy but its still hard to cope. How do i get through this and remain positive through such negativity?
