SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I just feel lost and don't know how to make my husband forgive me and move on.

You cannot make your husband do or feel anything. It sounds like you are very frustrated about that, but it's the truth.

Also, by not telling him about the ongoing sexual assault at your workplace, you are lying by omission. He probably will find out at some point, and will be angry that you lied.

Your husband can't trust you because you are still keeping something important from him. He's depressed, you haven't adequately dealt with the A, and you have not changed at your core. Still hiding. Please seek counseling. And if you can't deal with the offender or report her or something else, seek other employment.

That would be my course of action, anyway.

Edited to add; You seem to feel pretty strongly about it, but I'd rethink that wardrobe. You seem very attached to being attractive to everyone else. Right now, it only matters that you're attractive to your H. You've made your point, you can get someone else. Try holding on to the one you committed to?

[This message edited by tiredofcrying59 at 4:49 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)]

I just wanted to say that what I wrote above looks like I think sexual assault is caused by the way a woman dresses. I do not think that. I do, however, think that if your body is perceived to be "on display", that it can be seen as an invitation to someone who has no boundaries, like the coworker. Or perhaps she is laughing at you behind your back or jealous of you due to the things you said earlier about dressing sexily and/or thinking you are stuck up.

I do believe the way we are dressed can have results or consequences, but this does not justify any kind of assault.

I didn’t fight the OM’s advances even though it was strange and unwelcome in the beginning. He was a supervisor and I never wanted to complain because I was attracted to him on an intellectual level. He placed my hand on his @@@@ OM one occasion and then guided a handjob. I was in shock but didn’t know what to do or think. When I did pull back he grasped on to me hard and had the deepest look in his eyes. This encounter led to welcomed touches. This doesn’t seem like your situation at all so I say it is assault on her part.

This woman colleague groper says I'm one of the best colleagues she's ever had and I have so much potential, she's got so many plans for me..I don't get it!It makes my working life very awkward. This creepy short skinny woman coworker hasn't pushed me into having sex so far. It's just the obsessive touching me groping me. And I find it weird she behaves so touchy.She is taking advantage of me, and i am afraid that she will just go even further. I need to find a way to make her truly understand that this needs to stop. This woman my friendly colleague groper is hard to read because she has this bizarre sense of humor.She is some kind of local feminist activist.This woman my colleague groper considers herself "super-smart". I've tried a few methods, from laughing about it to being serious, but I've concluded that you can't deal with this kind of person. I am a 42year old woman.What is wrong with me?Basically, I'm at the point where my self-esteem and confidence in myself has eroded to where i don't trust myself.Why is this happening to me?What could be the possible reasons?Am I just an easy target for this weird coworker?Do you think that she is a sociopath?I am not going to change my dressing style I dress in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. That's just who I am. I love my height and my curvy stature. The more down I feel the more I dress up, put make up and such.If I'm mildly blue, I will indeed take more care with my appearance, in an effort to banish or soothe the mood. It helps! I just find looking in the mirror and seeing something I like always helps when nothing else seemed to be going well.

Do you think I'm just over reacting or is this not normal? Well my problem is, I simply freeze when this woman colleague is touching me or groping me or humping me. I freeze up.So what to do?I feel like a fool, but i totally freeze up.I know it's really weird and probably sounds ridiculous.My husband has become a nervous wreck.I can't talk to my husband about this.I feel like my husband moods tend to make the whole atmosphere change to his mood. I feel if he's in. Bad mood I have to tip toe around him and worry my daughter is going to wind him up and cause him to worse. ( he has never physically harmed us) but I do feel like I live on egg shells.If I have ever been funny with him he makes me say sorry (in a slightly over the top belittling way )

I feel so nervous that even if nothing wrong but he ask me a question for example " do you love me " or something similar. He even tends to hold my hand or stay close when he's asking questions like this.

She’s grooming you with the flattery. The OM/supervisor saw potential in me and sang my praises to the highest levels. He had plans but they were not solely on business intentions. He used his flattering remarks and potential to advance to reel me in close. I was hooked. You are not overreacting. Her behavior is way out of line.

The OM preferred revealing fitted tops and I accommodated with my normal style. when I ended it I went through a funk and didn’t want to dress up anymore. That has now ended and I am back to being me. He double takes every time we pass.(but then again he also does that to anyone with a vagina)

Have you considered that she thinks what she is doing is ok with you, because you haven't told her no?

I also understand you like the way you dress. You've stressed that in every post. You like the way you dress, look, and you enjoy the attention it brings.

However, you work in an office, where dressing "classy and sexy" isn't appropriate. You should be trying for classy and professional when you're at work. I'm not sure why you feel the need to look sexy when you clearly have poor boundaries,and your coworker has no boundaries, and the other people in the office think you're not dressed appropriately for an office setting. Wearing appropriate clothing doesn't mean you can't still be who you are. It just means you have enough respect for yourself, your coworkers,and your place of employment to dress for the job you do.

In some ways, I'm a lot like you. I'm attractive. I'm curvy. My hair and makeup are always on point. I don't have the problem you have though. I have no problem telling someone their attention isn't wanted. I also send out a vibe that I'm a married woman,and I'm not looking for their attention.

I prefer comfy clothes. And I hate wearing heels. I'd rather be barefoot. But I have to dress a certain way for my job. I'd love to dress my way, but it's unprofessional.

Something to consider.

[This message edited by HellFire at 7:11 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)]

Do you think I'm just over reacting or is this not normal?

I think this question has been addressed for you for four pages now. No, this is not normal. But your reaction is not normal either. You have been given some of the best advice I have ever seen, and yet you let it continue.

Has no other employee witnessed this behavior? This is a bizarre employment scenario, and I would certainly have done something by now to stop it. I am sorry, but it appears you do not want it to stop.

It seems you have two choices: find a different job with another employer, or blow the lid off of this situation by going to personnel, the owner of the company, or filing a complaint with the EEOC or other local/state employment oversight bureau.

This woman colleague groper says I'm one of the best colleagues she's ever had and I have so much potential, she's got so many plans for me..I don't get it!It makes my working life very awkward. This creepy short skinny woman coworker hasn't pushed me into having sex so far. It's just the obsessive touching me groping me. And I find it weird she behaves so touchy.She is taking advantage of me, and i am afraid that she will just go even further. I need to find a way to make her truly understand that this needs to stop

Like the other person said, she is GROOMING you. The longer you let this go on, the farther she will push it. And yes, she will go further and further unless you put a HARD STOP to it.

You say you freeze. Well, go to the police afterwards. Or quit your job.

You repeat the same things over and over. This woman is MOLESTING you. It needs to STOP. And the only one who can stop it is you.

I think this question has been addressed for you for four pages now. No, this is not normal. But your reaction is not normal either. You have been given some of the

The question is what are you going to do?

Don't take this the wrong way, but it's time to shit or get off the pot.

[This message edited by Wool94 at 9:34 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday)]

I'm not particularly fond of wearing revealing clothes.I prefer to wear covered, yet form fitting fashionable clothes. As i said because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. I am 5ft10 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE!

The other day I was at Costco with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!" Why should anyone have to wear something they don't really want to wear, just because some people can't respect another human? It's what I feel comfortable in, and I find no need to change that. I am not going to change my dressing style. It is my whole wardrobe. I can't afford to change my whole wardrobe. Another thing is that one should dress up for their own self; one should look good and fashionable for their own self.

I am like paralyzed and numb while this colleague groper old short skinny woman is touching me and groping me.I am just sitting and standing there kind of awkwardly letting it happen. Even i am unable to speak coherently.I am going “ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” ” errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrr” for ages and ages while she is rubbing me and groping me. Should I tell my husband? I want to tell him but I am afraid that he might get mad at me or something. He has become extremely quick to anger, he yells a lot now, and swears. Tiny things set him off. He is extremely sarcastic and EXTREMELY defensive. He also seems to be getting increasingly paranoid. I try to treat him with respect and kindness to take as much pressure off of him as possible. My parents are both in their mid-60s and have recently retired.They live thousands of miles away.We Skype regularly but I am worried about their lack of financial planning for their old age. Since retiring, they have spoken openly about “blowing all their savings” before they get too old. They are taking round-the-world holidays and are always shopping for new things. When their savings have run out, they will live (relatively comfortably) on their monthly pensions.I don't have any brothers or sisters.I'm an "only child".I feel isolated from my family.I'm not close with my extended family.I have cousins I wouldn't recognize on the street if I saw them.I wish there was at least someone who could see what I am going through but I don't have the confidence to tell anyone.I came here on this forum with the hope that I would find someone to help me with advice.I wish I can find someone who can understand what I'm going through or maybe someone who's going through what I am so we can help eachother.I don't have any friends here in my husband's hometown.When i am in an environment where I do not know anyone I can come as arrogant and stuck up depending on the setting.Is truly a defensive mechanism though.I got the feeling that people here in my husband's hometown think i am just arrogant snob. My life is a mess right now.Most of my neighbors here in my husband's home town think I'm stuck up overdressed snob because I tend to ignore them.Not because I don't like them or think I'm better than them, but because I'm scared of them, or I think they don't like me! To be completely honest, I'd rather them see me that way...stuck up. It makes me feel better when they think I'm stuck up.

So.... what are you going to do?

I put in my google search the following sentence with all the grammatical errors:

I am 5ft10 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE!

Check out the results yourself:

https://www.google.rs/search?client=opera&q=I+am+5ft10+foot+tall+and+being+well+endowed+well+built+and+curvy+always+on+high+heels+makes+me+HUGE!&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Mod please...

Okay, I'm out.

I f-ing knew it!!!! She would never answer any questions!

She even posted on porn forums!!!

Zozon,

-You have a pm-

toby called this out on page 2.