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Newest Member: LuckyMe

Just Found Out :
Just found out - wife w/best friend

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twisted ( member #8873) posted at 2:39 PM on Wednesday, June 6th, 2018

You still with us, Joel?

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

posts: 4023   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2005   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 8180725
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BrightDaysAhead ( new member #64017) posted at 7:59 PM on Wednesday, June 13th, 2018

Yes - I'm still here. Upgraded my account and changed my user. It's a been tough since my last post. I do have my first IC meeting next week, so does WW. I did lose about 10lbs since D/Day, mostly thru exercising every day and eating better....and lots of muscle milk. I've always been a weekend social drinker. I find myself wanting to have a few beers more often....I realize its not to have fun like in the past but more to dull the pain. Hysterical bonding is thru the roof. I feel like its nothing about making love, more just have sex w/some woman. I still can't look her in the face, all I see it that horrific acts she performed w/him. She is trying to extra hard to constantly show effection....hugs, ILU's, constant texting etc. I'm not sure that makes is easier for me. One day at a time and once again, thanks for the amazing advice and support!

posts: 22   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2018   ·   location: Ohio
id 8185776
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 10:01 PM on Wednesday, June 13th, 2018

Perhaps it was mentioned early on, but did you get tested?

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8185869
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 10:37 PM on Wednesday, June 13th, 2018

Strength to you as you move ahead. Take care of you. Do something nice for you. Keep on, keepin on!

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 4002   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8185912
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BrightDaysAhead ( new member #64017) posted at 11:10 PM on Wednesday, June 13th, 2018

Yep - got tested, result came back negative yesterday. WW wife tested negative also. Doc also gave me Lexapro to help with the depression/anxiety.

posts: 22   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2018   ·   location: Ohio
id 8185942
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MrMagnolia ( member #63147) posted at 5:18 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

BDA,

That's really good news on the testing.

Thanks for the update and I like the new username (though I already abbr it b/c I'm lazy af & SI <3's abbr) :).

Hang in there,

The only hope you have is to accept the fact that your marriage is already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be able to function as you are supposed to function: without mercy, without fear, without remorse.

posts: 668   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2018
id 8186442
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Curious9 ( member #48433) posted at 5:25 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

I think the sad part about all this is once she feels she has secured her place back with you your HB will stop. You will then probably be told to get over it.

Remember she is the one that controlled the affair and went after him.

I feel for you. I just don't think this is going to end well unless she really is trying to deal with her issues.

C

posts: 980   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2015
id 8186453
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Sknippen ( member #59211) posted at 7:18 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

It is all new. Time will heal the wounds. But the scars will always be visible, no matter how many years pass.

posts: 63   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2017   ·   location: Belgium
id 8186563
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Tigersrule77 ( member #47339) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

I'm glad you are doing OK. Hope things go better soon.

posts: 1593   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Maryland
id 8186634
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 8:44 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

Time passing will be your friend. Be vigilant. Do nice things for yourself. Although the scar will always be there, things will get better as time goes along especially if your WW is remorseful and doing the work to help you heal.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 4002   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8186635
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WornDown ( member #37977) posted at 8:47 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

Joel hasn't posted to this thread in 2 weeks and yet there's been three pages added to it.

Maybe everyone should relax and wait for him to post again?

C'mon back Joel.

Me: BH (50); exW (49): Way too many guys to count. Three kids (D, D, S, all >20)Together 25 years, married 18; Divorced (July 2015)

I divorced a narc. Separate everything. NC as much as humanly possible and absolutely no phone calls. - Ch

posts: 3359   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Around the Block a few times
id 8186640
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Curious9 ( member #48433) posted at 8:49 PM on Thursday, June 14th, 2018

BrightDaysAhead Is Joel.

posts: 980   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2015
id 8186644
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WornDown ( member #37977) posted at 3:22 AM on Friday, June 15th, 2018

Well...damn. Im a moron.

Mea culpa. Carry on.

Me: BH (50); exW (49): Way too many guys to count. Three kids (D, D, S, all >20)Together 25 years, married 18; Divorced (July 2015)

I divorced a narc. Separate everything. NC as much as humanly possible and absolutely no phone calls. - Ch

posts: 3359   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Around the Block a few times
id 8186853
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Wool94 ( member #53300) posted at 1:34 PM on Friday, June 15th, 2018

Well...damn. Im a moron.

Mea culpa. Carry on.

No your not. I had to look real close at it yesterday as well when I saw the new name.

D-Day #1: April 7, 2016
D-Day #2: May 21, 2016
D-Day #3: June 7, 2016
Me: 1975
Her:WW (amn8r) 1981
Son 2006
Daughter 2009
"God not only loves you, but He actually likes you. "-Stephen Hooks

"My faith is mine now."

posts: 3818   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2016   ·   location: Roll Tide Country 🇺🇸
id 8187093
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