Ok, found out the significance of the car....
Basically, you need to do EVERYTHING!!! and yes, that includes things that might be embarrassing to you.
Here are my suggestions....
1). Sit your husband down and explain all that you are going to do to prove your fidelity as well as your remorse. Tell Him that after this conversation, you plan on typing your plan, which you consider a binding contract, and to give to him to revise in any way, if he wishes.
2). You need to have morning sex with him EVERY DAY! This includes period sex. And you need to increase the intensity of the sex. The male ego is fragile, yes, this is a cliche, but it is also very true. You need to show him that you want the physical as well as the emotional connection that sex gives. In his mind, having sex every morning will also reassure him that even if there is another guy, that other guy is getting sloppy seconds. And for that reason, I also suggest that you don’t completely clean up after the morning sex.
3). Expand outside your comfort zone! If you did anything with your lover that you normally don’t do with husband, you need to do it for husband without giving it a second thought!!! Has there ever been something that your husband wanted to try but you said no, well, reconsider doing those with him
4). You need to explain to your husband that you want him to reclaim you just as you are reclaiming him! You want to wipe out every memory of your lover as much as possible by far surpassing what you did with your lover by doing it more often and with greater intensity with your husband! If you had sex i your car 20 times in parking lot, you are going to have even wilder sex with your husband in that car, in the same parking lot, 40 times. If you went to a hotel, you will take husband there, preferably to same room, and again, have more quantity and better quality sex with husband!
5). Once you have completed all parts to #4 related with the car, you are going to sell the car or better yet destroy the car, by torching it, taking sledgehammer to it, asking local high school football team to destroy it with sledge hammers, whatever. Then buy a new car, but definitely NOT a newer or better quality car to replace it. The key is that since the car was the location of most of the cheating, it MUST be gone from your life ASAP!!! And the new car can NOT be from same manufacturer NOR the same color!!!! Right now I’m sure he goes through hell every time he looks at it. He thinks you are having fond memories of your lover and all the sex whenever you open the car door and get it!! One of your mistakes was not getting rid of that car as soon as he discovered the truth!!!!
6). Your level of affection with him will be through the roof from this point forward!!! You will tell him how much you love him, and yes, that you are sorry for what you have do to him and to your relationship SEVERAL TIMES everyday
7). Tell him that you are going to be working extra hours so that you can take a polygraph test. Tell him that you will working the extra hours because you don’t want the money to come from the regular household income. You had the affair, so you will do extra work to fix it! Ask him to PLEASE help you draft the questions asked during the polygraph. One of the questions will be about your husband being a better lover and the sex being better than with lover. And you damn well better pass!!!!
8). Tell him that you will be working extra hours to alsotp be able to hire a lawyer to write a post-nuptial agreement which is very favorable to him. This will prove how serious you are about saving the marriage. Yes, this is potentially dangerous for you if he plans on divorcing you, but it is a gamble you will have to make. But I believe it is a smaller gamble than the gamble you made when you started and continued to sleep with your lover.
9). Institute a 3rd ring rule. Tell him that no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, you will answer your phone by the 3rd ring. If he calls and you are in a meeting, all you have to say is that you are in a meeting and will call him back within ___ minutes. You probably should explain to your supervisors why you MUST answer your phone by third ring.
10). After you get a new job, you will contact old HR dept and will name your lover.
11). Have YOU talked to your lovers wife and family yet? If not, with husbands supervision, you will contact her to set up a time and place to talk to her. It is probably best if you do this on speakerphone, but that is up to the two betrayed spouses. You will apologize and answer any questions she has. You will do the same to rest of his family, including his children, with his wife’s approval. If she doesn’t want you to talk to her kids, ask if you can write a letter to them apologizing for causing their family so much pain and hardship!
12). Yes, this is going to sound crazy, but he is looking for a grand gesture. Ask him to help you find and buy with your overtime/2nd job money, a chastity belt that you will wear under your uniform at work (where lover still works) or on any day you will spend more than 2 continuous hours apart,
The good news is that now make ones that are relatively invisible under clothing. You might have to adjust wardrobe style to better conceal it. He will have one of the two keys to th lock, which will NOT be a flimsy toy lock that can be pulled apart. And ASK him, if the other key can be given to a coworker that he trusts. Yes, this will be embarrassing to you explaining why to the coworker, but think about your husbands shame and embarrassment about finding out that the woman he loved more than anyone else, cheated on him and had another guy’s dickmin her mouth and vagina frequently! Tell him that you will wear the belt everyday that you are not together until he says you no longer have to wear it.
13). Anything you wore for lover, along with any gifts he gave you are burned.
14). You NEVER say no to his advances. You need to rebuild his confidence as a man and a lover.
15). I know that you have given him all accounts and passwords. But take lock off phone. Only use phone, whether it is to look something up, or text someone in front of him and tell him what you are doing. Then leave the unlocked phone on table where he can Check it if he wants to.
NEVER have the phone on you or use it in any way alone in a room or outside his view!
The phone is NEVER allowed in your bedroom nor bathroom!
16). All your pajamas and lingerie are thrown out. You buy all new lingerie, only what HE likes, and you wear it to bed every night. You will never again wear flannel or comfortable pjs. If you are cold in bed, you cuddle next to him in bed for warmth!!
17). Buy 3 VARs. Have one one you at all time. When it is full, just leave it next to his computer for him to listen to it while next 2 VARs are being used. The decision to listen to them is completely up to him, but you are giving him the opportunity to verify
18). Whenever you go someplace, text him when you are leaving and when you arrive. But at same time, add something in each message to let him know you love him.
Ex.
Text 1: honey, I’m going to the supermarket. Is there anything you would like me to get?
Text 2: I’m outside the supermarket, is there anything special you want?
Text 3: I’m all done at supermarket, heading home. Can’t wait to see you
Text 4: I’ve arrived home. I got something special for us Whipped cream. Thought I might have fun licking it off you.
19). . Refuse to attend any social event, especially at work, where there MIGHT be men, unless husband is with you
20). Get a tattoo in an intimate area that professes your love for him! Ex. Small little heat with your wedding date on heart with phrase “I love you (his name)” surrounding heart in pubic area or just above or high on inner thigh!! It would very difficult for another guy to do anything after seeing that unless he was a complete scumbag!! Could also tell hubby that it is also your Scarlet Letter that you will have forever because of not only what you did, but to profess your unending love for him!
21). You go the extra 10 miles for him. If you are spending day with him, you dress as nice/sexy for him. If you believe you need to lose weight, you tell him that you will lose it FOR HIM! Ask him to go to the gym with you. And when at gym with him, you wear yoga pants and sports bra. Yes, it may be embarrassing, but you are doing it FOR HIM!
Does he like when you are shaved? Then that is the norm from this point on
When you go out with him, go over the top dressing yourself for him. On dates, no bra.
22). All underwear is thrown away as I’m sure you don’t remember ever pair that you wore when with lover. Replace with only thongs, again to please him.
Basically become his fantasy woman in real life! You once had this position, but you lost it when you spread your legs and opened your mouth for your lover. Become that fantasy woman for him once more
Remember, all of this is FOR HIM!! You need to prove to him that you know the pain that YOU caused him and you will dedicate the rest of your life to him being the most important thing in the world to you! His healing, his feeling good are the most important thing in the world to you! And you will prove it to him EVERY DAY for the rest of your life, IF he gives you the chance!
I wish you luck and hope that you are worthy of being given a second chance, a chance that we both know you really don’t deserve
[This message edited by RLinX at 8:04 PM, August 12th (Sunday)]